Agent_Mothman's Paranormal Log (Invader Zim)

ENTRIES 22-26 - FUNDRAISING COMPITITION

Friday, September 14th, 3:55 P.M. 

Well, today is fund-raising day. Great.

While Ms. Bitters was ranting something about society, my desk broke as some kid was building a house of cards on it. So, she made me go to the back and get a "replacement desk" which was a Trash Can. And a rat came out of it and scratched my face. It hurt.

She then put up a video of this "Poop-Dog" guy in a suit who was talking about our fundraiser. They were showing off various prizes, which Zim had a lot of...commentary on. Finally, he said if you sell enough candy bars, you get the "secret prize".

Which made Zim go NUTS.

He jumped up on Ms. Bitter's desk and started screaming at the TV, before she growled at him and picked him up. When I asked why they use all the money on candy and prizes instead of buying desks (which is the ENTIRE POINT of the fundraiser), she just said, "That answer wasn't in the video." Capitalism, I guess.

So, she's giving us all weekend to sell candy bars. I hate this Skool, but I'm determined to sell more candy bars than Zim. I'm going to sell so many, the "advanced alien race" will be put to shame! Just WATCH ME!

Agent_Mothman signing off for today.

Saturday, September 15th, 3:20 P.M. 

I've spent most of the afternoon selling candy bars. It's been REALLY hot outside today, so I've been a bit dehydrated and sweaty this afternoon. But I managed to sell a whole box of Candy Bars at my Dad's lab. Who knew scientists liked sawdust chocolate bars so much?

Finally, I decided to end the afternoon taunting Zim since he hasn't sold any. He claimed that he would sell "More than any human", but I've sold 20, and he's sold 0, so I think I have the winning score currently.

I flipped the box in his face and splashed my juice box at him. He was pretty mad, but it was funny.

I'll see how he's doing tomorrow, and try to sell more tomorrow as well. We'll see.

Agent_Mothman signing off for today.

Sunday, September 16th, 2:30 P.M. 

It was really hot outside today as well. But...

I may have (possibly) discovered ANOTHER one of Zim's weaknesses. (Maybe, more research needed.)

I'd been selling all morning, to the grocery store, to the McMeaties, to the Crazy Taco, and even a few to the Swollen Eyeball. They were happy to help a fellow member, and said they could use the chocolate bars to conduct some experiments on mutant monkeys or something, I don't remember.

But, when I finished selling, and went out into the street to taunt Zim some more, before I even got a full sentence out, he was yelling something about PoopDog, and absolutely HURLED his robot at me. His robot wasn't super heavy, but he's made of some kind of alien metal that REALLY hurt.

But he wasn't attacking me...he was attacking "PoopDog", and did a double take when he realized it was me.

I think Zim has a weakness to the sun, due to him having hallucinations and looking very worn out. Maybe he lives on a really cold planet, I will have to see if he has reactions like this in the winter. Oh well, at least I finally got a good note for another one of his weaknesses. I just don't know if it's valid. Zim might be different from every other alien on his planet! His allergies may simply be like humans have different allergies. Just because I'm allergic to cats doesn't mean every human is. Maybe him being allergic to water and having hallucinations to the sun is just a Zim thing. More research needed.

I'm definitely going to win this race. I've sold 100 candy bars! Zim WON'T win this fight. Though, I'm starting to get a little worried. Defeat has made Zim crazy. He's REALLY persistent on proving he's the best. It almost makes me wonder what his life is like back on his home planet....does he have to prove he's the best so constantly that it leaks into everything he does?

Oh well. I guess I'll find the answer to that question another day. Agent_Mothman signing off.

Monday, September 17th, 3:34 P.M. 

Remember that whole "I'm totally going to win this fundraiser thing?"

Yeah, since I sold 100, that went really well!

For about 10 seconds.

I was going to brag to Zim, but he wasn't there.

I was a little confused about where he was and why the whole room felt like it was shaking...

Until ZIM CRASHED through the door in a PILE of money.

Saying that he sold "1.2 Million Candy Units".

IN ONE DAY?!

HOW!?!??!!

I think he decided selling like a normal human being wasn't good enough, and decided to CHEAT with his crazy alien technology. I did hear my neighbors talking about how they had these crazy VR headsets on that showed them a terrible reality where they didn't buy the candy from a green kid....

Oh.

COME ON!

Whatever, I won a box of band-aids, and Zim got a can of tuna since there actually wasn't even a "secret prize" and it was just a lie to get us to sell candy with no pay, benefiting the poop dog. Again, Capitalism is the only valid reasoning I can think of right now.

Anyway, it's been a day, and Mysterious Mysteries comes on tonight. I'll just go watch that and pretend like I didn't lose a fundraising race to some crazy, power hungry Alien Invader from outer space.

Agent_Mothman signing off...I guess.