Freen&Becky (I need you more than I want to) S1

Couldn't keep it in (part one)

FREEN'S POV

We were invited to the debutante in Manila. It was great. We had so much fun and so many fans screaming within the crowd.

We were asked so many questions about GAP the series.

Questions like...

our favourite moments from the series,

who breaks character first when we hear cut while shooting the series

who is the first to call the order in the morning. And so on...

We answered all this questions sincerely as the crowd cheered for us.

After everything, we were driven to our hotel. We were both shown to our different hotel rooms. I got into my room freshened up and laid on the bed to rest.

As usual Becky came to my room because she could not sleep in her room. She told me she was really tired from the travels and the shows of the day and so I told her to get on the bed and sleep.

" Are you not going to bed?" Becky said

"no I want to be awake for a while. I have so much on my mind and I want to clear it up" I said to her.

"okay! then.... I will go to bed first. good night freeny" Becky said

It was quiet and I assumed that Becky had gone to bed. I went to the sitting room and put on the TV because I couldn't fall asleep.

I was a bit restless . I went to the sitting room and turned on the TV pretending to be watching a movie when I know within myself that I was not even in that universe.

I was there for a while when Becky came out of the bedroom to the sitting room.

"Why aren't you sleeping why are you still awake it's quite late" Becky said

"I told you already that I don't feel like going to bed. I just want to be left alone " I said to her

" you can tell me what's wrong. We're best friends aren't we?" Becky said.

I couldn't quite figure out why I was so troubled and restless but I knew you had something to do it one of the questions that we were asked during the show.

Are you two lovers?

was the question the interviewer asked.

Becky laughed and quickly said "No"

She said that we were just good friends.

"We were more like sisters" Becky said

And the closeness between us makes it look like we are lovers but we are just really really good friends.

I pretended to be okay with Becky's answer but I did not know why it actually hurt me so much to hear Becky referring to me as "just a friend"

Becky asking me why I was troubled and restless wasn't helping the situation at all because I can't tell her the reason.

I can't tell her to leave the room either because I am always happy with her around but I can't talk to her about my restlessness.

So I just told her that we should go to bed. I turned off the TV and we both went to the bedroom.

I was a little bit far away from her in the bed as I wanted to be left alone but she came into my embrace.

I couldn't push her away and so I just accepted my defeat and spooned her tightly when suddenly that feeling came again.

I wanted her. I wanted all of her. I don't understand myself.

I'm angry with her and yet I want her. I don't want to talk to her but yet she's the only person whose voice I want to hear.

how am I going to get out of this?

Is this really how crazy love is?

Am I really really in love with her that I can't even control my brain on how to think and I can't control my body and how to feel?.

I drew her even closer and started breathing into her neck. she turned around and gave me a peck on the cheek and smiled looking deeply into my soul through my eyes.

I look at her lips. those beautiful lips of hers and suddenly moved in for a kiss.

This time I wanted it all. I can't be hiding behind the shadows forever. I was going to show her how I felt even though I could not tell her and if she rejects me, so be it.

I was too miserable to just keep hiding these feelings and so I held her neck and drew her in for a deep kiss.

It was actually surprising that instead of pushing me away, Becky drew me even closer. She wanted it as much as I did.

What the actual fuck is happening?

she rested on the bed with her back and slowly use her hand to signal my body to come on top of her.

Are we really doing this?

Is she really accepting the idea of having sex with me or am I just dreaming.

I thought to myself as I was both horny and nervous at the same time.

To be continued....

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