Family [BTS mafia ff]

Special 2 | Worries

I sat on top of Namjoon's desk as he scanned through one of his bookshelves. I tapped my finger on the wood in a monotonous rhythm before stopping as Namjoon walked over to his seat with a familiar book at hand.

"You must love that book so much." I scoffed, arching a brow as the title of the book echoed in my mind. The Depiction of Family.

"Well it does mention values that are prominent in Bangtan." A smile touched Namjoon's lips as he rolled his eyes. He opened up the book, flicking through the thin pages until he landed on a particular page. I cracked a grin, remembering the day I highlighted a few sentences which I thought Namjoon would enjoy knowing about.

"Family isn't defined by genes but it's built and maintained through love." Namjoon read out one of the highlighted sentences. The one I associated most with him and Bangtan.

"Truly the epitome of Bangtan." I laughed softly and he nodded.

Namjoon slammed the book shut and tossed it on to his desk. I jumped off and turned to face him.
"Hee-Ra, is something bothering you?"

My smile dropped immediately. I shouldn't have been surprised that Namjoon could see through me. The air shifted, pushing out the earlier light-heartedness. My lips twitched as I thought of a suitable answer.

"How did you know?" I asked, furrowing my brows.

"Because recently your mood seems... a little different than usual." Namjoon frowned.

I clenched my fists and sighed. I dragged my eyes back up to meet Namjoon's; soft and tender unlike the usual sharp and serious. "I'm... expecting a child with Jimin."

Namjoon's eyes grew wide. He clapped his hands while the corners of his lips curled up. "I'm going to have a niece or a nephew? Seriously?" He questioned excitedly. Almost immediately though, his smile faded as soon as he realised how my expression remained indifferent.

"What's wrong?" Namjoon spoke with eyes full of concern.

I bit my bottom lip unconsciously.
"I'm scared Namjoon. Jimin and I... we're part of the mafia. At least Yujung has one parent that's not in the mafia to take care of her but it's not the same for me and Jimin. I'm scared of bringing up our child in such an environment.
What if they feel left out and judged in society? I don't want to wish that upon my child ever. I want them to grow up comfortably." I ranted, releasing all my pent-up thoughts.

Namjoon heaved out a sigh, raising his palms to slow down my momentum. He closed his eyes before looking back at me.
"Did you speak to Jimin about this?"

I nodded sheepishly. Jimin and I had a serious conversation on the topic yet both of us felt the same way towards our child, we didn't know what to do.

"Alright... what makes you worry about this environment?" Namjoon questioned, resting his jaw on his palm.

"The violence, the drugs and human trafficking, just a lot. I don't want to force my child into the mafia world." I frowned. Although my recollection of memories from the past was little to nothing, Namjoon would tell me from time to time what we got up to when we were young; whether it was having fun at the beach one day or escaping to a countryside manor to be safe from the rough conflicts that'd sometimes occur. I didn't want my child to be put through that constant fear.

"When you put it into words, the reality really does hit, huh?" Namjoon whispered under his breath. He rubbed his nape, and I could see the cogs turning in his head as he came up with suitable advice.

"Honestly the situation you're in is a tough one, but what we do isn't something exactly unavoidable. And really all I can advise you is to keep them from the violence until they're grown enough to understand our reality.
Besides, it's not like we're all going out to shoot down some bastards or sell off drugs, I'm sure the others would be more than happy to take care of your child while you and Jimin are away."

"You think?" I said, thinking about his words carefully.

"I know. And you know I'd do anything to help you, Jimin and your child."