The Way It Was - Abridged (Complete)

32

Now

MAGANDA ang mood ko nang araw na iyon. Extra special ang breakfast, merienda at lunch. Roarke appeared a little busy with his laptop and phone. We barely talked. He gave me a chaste kiss on the forehead and that was it. Parang gustong kong madismaya, pero pinigilan ko ang sarili ko.

Today was my special day and I was going to be happy and excited. I was going to celebrate.

Today was the release of my newest book. Pagsapit ng alas-tres ay magla-live na iyon sa mga online stores.

Bago mag-alas tres ay nagtungo ako sa shop ni Robyn. We always celebrated together. She usually baked me my special celebration cake.

Ang ganda ng ngiti ko pagkakita ko kay Robyn. "Congratulations to me," masigla kong sabi. "Ready na ako sa cake ko."

"Uhm, it's not here."

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. "You didn't bake me a cake?" I didn't know what to feel about that.

Hinubad niya ang suot na apron at iniyakap niya ang braso niya sa braso ko. Pagkatapos ay hinila niya ako palabas ng shop.

"Saan tayo pupunta?" tanong ko.

"Sa bahay n'yo. Sa studio mo."

"Why? I can't believe you didn't bake me a cake. Nagtatampo ako."

Natawa ang kaibigan ko.

"Ano ang gagawin natin sa studio ko? Roarke is using it. He said he has meetings with Storm, the manager, and the producers. He had been busy since yesterday. They have an album coming out and tour rescheduling, so he's been busy. It's kind of weird to see him busy with stuff like this, you know. I know he does more than sing but everytime I hear him talk business and numbers and promotions, he sounds so... grown up. He's very responsible, Robyn. He's always been responsible, but it's different now."

Mas natawa si Robyn.

Hinayaan kong gamitin nina Roarke at Bobby ang studio ko para sa mga meeting. Nagtungo ako sa klinika at ginamit ang opisina ko roon. Ipinatawag din kasi ako ni Pippo para mapasahan niya ng ilang trabaho.

"I was really looking forward to the cake," sabi ko kay Robyn habang binubuksan niya ang gate. "Sana nag-uwi man lang tayo ng merienda from your shop. I want cake, Robyn."

"And you'll have cake." Binuksan ni Robyn ang studio ko at pinapasok ako.

"Where is–" Hindi ko naituloy ang sasabihin ko nang makita ang studio ko. It was full of flowers and balloons. Mayroon ding mga fairy lights na nakasabit sa dingding at kurtina.

And in the middle of my studio was Roarke with a really huge flower bouquet on his arms. There's a cake on the coffee table. Hindi lang cake ang naroon kundi ilan pang mga pagkain na paborito ko. Napansin ko rin sina Lolo Hank at Bobby na nakaupo sa sofa at ngiting-ngiti.

Ibinalik ko ang paningin kay Roarke. "H-how... W-why?"

"Happy release day!" nakangiting sabi ni Roarke.

Nag-init ang sulok ng mga mata ko. Mabilis na namuo ang mga luha. I couldn't believe he did this for me. Hindi ako makagalaw at pinagmasdan ko lang siya. Parang hindi totoo.

Nilapitan niya ako. "Congratulations, babe." Inialay niya sa akin ang bulaklak.

Kinuha ko ang bulaklak at ibinigay kay Robyn. Then I jumped him. Naging maagap siya sa pagsalo sa akin. I kissed the hell out of him. Hindi ako nahiya sa audience namin.

"Thank you," sabi ko pagkatapos kong pakawalan ang mga labi niya.

"You love it?" tanong niya.

Tumango ako. Pinahid ko ang mga luha na hindi ko namalayang nalaglag.

"You're happy?"

Sunod-sunod ang naging tango ko. "Is the cake good?"

Banayad siyang natawa. "The best. Robyn said it's your favorite."

"Okay. I thought I'm not having a cake."

Hinagkan niya ang noo at ilong ko. "I'll get you cake and flowers on every release day. I've always wanted to do something for you on your release days. I promise to do this every time there's a new book."

Niyakap ko siya nang mahigpit.

Everyone congratulated me and we ate cake. Pagkatapos ay niyakap ako ng lahat bago nila kami iniwan ni Roarke sa studio.

Nasa sofa kaming dalawa at nakakandong ako sa kanya. "Lola Marianna loved romance novels. She has an extensive collection of them. She would always refer to reading them as her guilty pleasure. They obviously made her happy, but she'd always call reading them her guilty pleasure and it had stuck with me. I'm not sure when I started reading them. Very young, I guess. I always spend my summer vacations here and I think I've read all her books. I bought them in the States and one time, Halmeoni saw me reading one and she told me I should not read those kinds of books. She ripped it out of my hand and threw it in the trash. I should read real books, not those trash. I'm gonna be a doctor. I shouldn't read those books.

"That's why I'm so embarrassed about reading them before. I loved them but I always tell myself I shouldn't. You're right, there's too much talking shit about romance books. It gives people a lot of happiness and good feelings. Hope and inspiration. And still, people refer to them as trash and guilty pleasure. There's nothing to be guilty about loving something. I love being a romance writer, Roarke. My books are my babies."

Hinagkan niya ang pisngi ko. "You're great at it, babe. Your stories are so good. Your characters are lovely. I am so happy that you found something you love and you're at your happiest when you write."

"I'm not miserable anymore."

"You're not miserable anymore."

"I used to get sad everytime I finished a book, the early ones. I already told you about them being my fantasies and my way of being with you. When I finished, I felt the lost more. I missed you more. I long for... a happy ending for us, because I had given my main characters happy endings. I don't have you... That's why I need a cake." Hinaplos ko ang pisngi niya. "I have you now. And I have cake."

"And you will always have me. You will always have cake."

Sinapo ng dalawang kamay ko ang mukha niya at hinagkan ko ang mga labi niya.