The Way It Was - Abridged (Complete)

14

Now

EXCEPT things didn't calm down. Something else exploded and The Sleepwalkers were again in boiling water.

I stayed away from the Internet. I stayed away from my phone after I assured my brother I was not married and this was some sort of crisis management. He was still fuming but I told him I'd fix it somehow. Tinanong niya ako kung paano ko iyon gagawin at sinabi kong huwag na muna niya akong masyadong tinatanong.

I appreciated James' concern but he was becoming unbearable.

Lolo Hank had a lot of questions and I couldn't really tell him what was happening. Hindi ko gustong itago sa kanya ang mga bagay-bagay dahil ayokong nag-aalala siya, pero hindi ko rin kasi alam kung paano ipapaliwanag talaga ang mga nangyayari. I was still so confused and I had no way of knowing what was really happening, how was this situation being handled.

"I'm sorry," sabi ko habang nakahilig ako sa balikat ni Lolo Hank kinagabihan. The very thought of him being so disappointed in me broke my heart.

Hinagkan niya ang ibabaw ng ulo ko. "It's fine."

"It's not," usal ko. "I did something wrong and I wish I can explain myself. I wish love is enough to justify it, but it's not." Pigil-pigil ko ang pagpatak ng mga luha.

"People make mistakes. We learn from them. I just want you to be okay."

I wouldn't be okay for a long time. My conscience would always bother me. I might ruin a marriage and I should never be okay with that.

I was somewhat grateful I was far away. I just needed to go offline.

I managed to stay unplugged until morning. Kating-kati akong tingnan ang ang mga pangyayari pero naisip ko na siguro ay payapa na ang lahat. Hindi ko binuksan ang phone ko kahit na curious ako kung tatawagan akong muli ni Roarke.

Alam ko naman na hindi ako maaaring umiwas habang-buhay. Kailangan kong harapin ang anumang kailangang harapin–kaparusahan at iba pang consequences. Pero sadyang hindi ko alam kung paano. Hindi ako magka-ideya. Kaya kailangan ko muna ng kaunting panahon.

Hindi ako gaanong nakatulog at parang robot na naghanda ako ng almusal. Hinayaan ako ni Lolo na asikasuhin siya. He knew I needed something to distract myself.

Pumasok si Lolo Hank sa klinika. I was supposed to go in, but I knew I'd just be distracted. Wala rin akong magagawang trabaho. Thankfully, wala namang mga importanteng kailangan na gawin.

Pagpasok ko sa studio ko ay hindi rin ako nakapagpigil. Binuksan ko ang mga phone. I expected things to be calmer, but no. Wala pang isang minuto ay nanlalaki na nang husto ang mga mata ko.

The Sleepwalkers were in another controversy. This time it was much more serious than Roarke's cheating allegation. This time it was a sexual abuse situation.

Iba ang kaba at takot ko. Hindi ko kayang tanggapin na may bahid ng katotohanan ang ganoong klase ng bintang. I loved Roarke and I loved the band so much. There was no way...

Nagkukumahog na hinanap ko ang buong kuwento. Nagsimula iyon sa isang post mula sa isang former employee ng banda.

And Roarke's virtuous public reputation is redeemed. He's good at that–creating redeeming stories. He had in fact cheated on his girlfriend–wife now–with groupies before. There were pictures, come on. We assumed she dumped his ass and that's why she just disappeared. No one on the staff really knew they were married. But he is our golden good boy. Now let's talk about the real cheating disgusting bastard inside the band. The one who always engage with sexual interaction with barely legal and sometimes not legal girls. Girls who really wanted Roarke, but Roarke had long stopped sleeping with groupies, so they settled for Billy.