The Way It Was - Abridged (Complete)

9

Then

HINDI AKO mapakali habang naghihintay sa paglabas ni Roarke. I was not allowed to go in and they placed me in a small room that looked like a staff lounge. I was told I could get any snack I wanted. As if I could keep anything down.

Panay ang silip ko sa labas pero nanatiling empty ang hallway. What was taking so long? Was it supposed to be long? O hindi pa naman talaga natatagalan, medyo atat lang talaga ako?

I told myself to relax. Roarke was going to be all right. Storm wanted him. He would amaze everyone with that extraordinary voice of his. He was going to be magnificent.

Pero hindi ko pa rin talaga mapigilan ang mga nararamdaman ko. Hindi ko pa rin mapigilan ang matakot at mag-alala. What if things didn't work out the way we wanted? What if I was wrong?

I didn't want to be wrong. I was not wrong.

But what if...

I wanted to tear my hair out. I didn't like this stress. But then I kind of asked for this.

I badgered Roarke into calling Storm. He didn't want to.

"Look at me, Marianne. I mean, really look at me. I'm not gonna be a frontman of The Sleepwalkers or any band. I'm not a rockstar. I'm a bookstore clerk and a bartender."

"And a part-time music teacher," dagdag ko. Roarke was a very busy man. He had three to four jobs. He didn't like not being busy, that was what I gathered. We were getting to know each other really well.

He gave me a look.

"You are the most beautiful boy I have laid my eyes on."

"You're lying."

"I'm not."

"Henry Cavill? Matt Bomer? Ian Somerhalder?"

"Those men don't know I exist." Nginitian ko siya nang matamis. "And I haven't seen any of them in person."

Umiling-iling si Roarke. "I'm not..."

"But you want it. You admitted it to me. It feels like this is something you should do, you said. And Storm saw something in you, he heard something unique in your voice to give you his number. He wants you. He can see you fronting a band."

Patuloy na umiling si Roarke.

"Don't you at least wanna try? So that you can have no regrets after? Do you really wanna go through life asking yourself what if I called and auditioned? Would you really rather ask questions than try and know for sure? It's kind of a sin to live a life with could've beens or might've beens."

Pinagmasdan niya ako sa loob ng mahabang panahon. Pagkatapos ay napabuntong-hininga.

He held my hand as he made the phone call. When they told him to come in today and audition, I skipped class to accompany him to the studio. I was sure he didn't really need me, I just wanted to be there for him. Hindi rin naman ako makakapag-concentrate sa klase.

I knew he was going to do well. We practiced on open mics. His voice was in top condition. He was going to be okay.

Nang makita kong bumukas ang pinto ng silid na pinasukan ni Roarke kanina, mabilis akong lumapit sa kanya. Nakayuko siya. Habang palapit ay nakita ko sa mukha niya ang labis na pagkadismaya.

"What happened?" kaagad kong tanong nang makalapit ako.

Tumingin siya sa akin. My heart broke with the sadness, disappointment and heartbreak in his eyes. "Those bastards," I muttered.

"They liked my voice. It's unique and recognizable. It can use a bit more work, but they all said I do have a promising voice. It's just that..." Mukhang labis siyang nag-aalangan na sabihin sa akin.