One Hundred Sleepless Nights

Chapter 8: There's A War Inside My Head

"Cesar Antonio Soto Perry!" I yelled. "That's not my name!" Tony yelled back. "I don't care!" I yelled again. A lot of fans have been asking Tony if his name was Cesar Antonio Soto Perry. It's not, but it's funny to call him that. "What do you want?" Tony walked into the living area. We were the only two on the bus. "I want to go see Black Veil Brides and Juliett Simms." I told him. "Ugh fuck." Tony groaned. "What?" I asked. "I was about to go to catering." Tony said. "Then let me go by myself." I smirked. "Fine. Go." Tony went back to the bunk area.

I walked to the stage that Black Veil Brides was playing on. Ashley has literally became my best friend here over the three days that Warped has been going on. I finally got a pass that allows me backstage. I don't know why I didn't have one in the first place, but I just didn't. I showed the guard my pass, and he let me through. The guys were about to go on stage. "Hey it's Little V!" Ashley yelled. I blushed. They started calling me Little V because I look like Vic. "Little V!" Jinxx ran over to me and gave me a hug. "Are you here to watch us play?" CC asked. "No I'm here to kick you guys out. You can't play anymore." I said with a straight face. Everyone's smiles turned into frowns. "Oh my God!" I bent over and started to laugh. "Your faces!" I pointed at them. They started to laugh along. "I hate you!" Andy yelled at me. "I hate you too!" I yelled back. "You're a mess Little V." Ashley shook his head. "A hot mess." I snapped my fingers in a Z formation. "Believe what you want." Jake said. "I'll fight you." I put my fists up. "Bring it." Jake laughed. "Ladies ladies, you're both beautiful." Andy stood between us. "You think I'm beautiful?" Jake smirked. "Very." Andy winked. "Okay lovebirds, it's time to go on stage." I giggled.

I watched their set from side stage again. I don't like side stage. I want to be in the crowd. "Thank you guys! We are Black Veil Brides!" Andy yelled before the guys ran off stage. "Good job losers. Andy carry me to your girlfriend!" I demanded. Andy picked me up, and we ran to Juliett's stage. She was already on. "Okay put me down." I instructed as we reached side stage. "Yes ma'am." Andy dropped me. He literally dropped me! "What the fuck Andy?" I laughed. "Oops." He shrugged his shoulders. We watched the set together. Afterwards, Juliett came over to Andy. "Hey Little V. Hey babe." Juliett said. "Hey! I gotta go back to my bus now." I told them. They nodded and I started walking towards the bus.

"Hey Allison!" A bunch of fans ran up next to me. "Hey.." I mumbled. "What's up?" One said. They are acting like we have been besties for forever. "Just waking back to my bus." I said quietly. These fans were making me nervous. "Cool! Can we come?" One asked. Agh fuck. "My dad said I can't take anyone to the bus." I told her. "Oh... Well bye!" And with that they took off. I hate being somewhat famous.

--/--

"Dad I'm hungry!" I yelled. "Okay!" He yelled back. He was in the back room doing something. He emerged without a shirt on and with a Danielle by his side. Danielle's hair was messed up and her shirt was rolled up. Ew. "Uh well, I'd rather not have my father who just had sex take me somewhere so I'm going to ask Jaime bye!" I ran out of the bus. Ew. Ew. Ew. I saw Jaime talking with Matty Mullins. "Jaime! Can you take me to eat?" I asked. He nodded. "Catch you later Mullins?" Jaime said. "Sure dude." Matty replied. We started walking to catering. "Why didn't you ask your dad? He was on the bus with you." Jaime wondered. "Well uh- you see. Danielle was on the bus as well. Theyhadsexinthebackroom." I rushed the last part. "Damn it! I thought we said no sex on the bus!" Jaime groaned. "Obviously dad didn't know." I laughed awkwardly.

We made it to catering eventually. I got a hotdog and a water. Jaime got a hamburger. We sat down at one of the tables. "Why can't I walk around alone?" I asked Jaime. "It would be convenient for all of us. No offense." Jaime said. "I hate to bug you guys and everything." I sighed and ate my hotdog.

--/--

I made it back to the bus after watching a few bands who I have no idea who they were perform. I think one was like Kangaroo Koo Roo or something. I watched Asking Alexandria though. It's hard to be a performer and watch shows, but I manage. Dad was on the couch making out with Danielle. "Stop!" I picked up a pillow and threw it at them. Dad groaned. I saw his "little friend" in his jeans. "Ew! Ew! Ew! Dad's got a boner!" I yelled, running around in circles. "Shut up!" Dad said, obviously embarrassed. "Nasty! Go do that somewhere else!" I covered my eyes. Danielle giggled. "You might also want to take care of your problem Dad." I laughed. Then the thoughts came back. I grabbed my head and fell to the floor. I started to shriek. "I need Jaime! I need Jaime!" I repeated. I heard dad saying some words but I couldn't understand. "Jaime! Jaime!" I yelled. Danielle was freaking the fuck out.

Jaime eventually calmed me down. We went into the back room. "What thoughts are you having?" Jaime asked me. I shook my head. "You need to tell me." Jaime grabbed my wrists. I winced a little. "Oh sorry." He loosened his grip. "They are bad." I felt tears run down my cheek. "Tell me. I don't think of you any different Alli." Jaime said. "They are the bad kind of thoughts about dad. They won't leave my head." I cried silently. Jaime hugged me.

Having OCD, you get unwanted thoughts in your head. A lot of them are sexual. Some include children, some include family members, some include the same gender as you. It's scary. I hate having those images in my head. Jaime understands that I don't want anything that is going on in my head to happen in the real world. I can't tell dad about these thoughts. He will hate me. I can only pray that he doesn't hate me.

A/N: so I haven't been diagnosed with OCD but I have the symptoms lol but I'm trying my best to describe OCD in this story so...

And if you haven't noticed, my chapter titles are song lyrics. This song is I'm Gonna Show You Crazy by Bebe Rexha and I love her! Check it out!