Emotional Wreck | ᵀʰᵉ ᶠᵃˡˡᵒᵘᵗ

ᴮˡᵃⁿᵏ

Nothing.

August couldn't think, she didn't want to. Everything had changed since the school shooting, nothing was the same. People she knew, people she didn't, they died.

Death had always been a strange concept for August. Something her brain didn't understand, how someone could be talking, making jokes one moment, then the next you'll never hear their laughed again.

Nina and Maria became unbearable, always there. August hadn't had a moment to herself since it happened, they were always there. Even when she showered her mom's would be knocking on the door making sure she didn't do something stupid.

Feelings, they became foreign to August. She didn't feel, she wasn't even angry anymore. It was just nothing; suicide. Suicide became a very big topic in her house, her mom's tried their hardest to educate her on how final suicide was.

August became drawn to the idea, death had never been something she was scared of. When she had her accident she wasn't scared she was going to die. She was scared her mom's would be sad, that they'd argue, miss their daughter. Never did one thought of "Oh, no. I'm scared, I'm going to die." Dawn in the girls mind, because it wouldn't be true.

Thoughts were just thoughts, something to occupy your mind on. However, it became a fascination. Screaming, howling into her ear ever second of the day that everything she felt would stop. It was appealing, no one should have to go through this. She wouldn't wish this on her worst enemy, it was pure torture.

August no longer looked at herself in the mirror because standing back she saw a stranger. She no longer talked, never having the need to share her opinion. The only thing August was doing successfully was being there, existing.

She stopped sleeping a few days after the shooting, whenever she closed her eyes there would be blood, guns, Vada and Mia's whimpers. She stopped sleeping for that reasons, not being able to live with the muffled sounds.

She stopped eating, but she already didn't eat as it was. The only thing she did was blink, breathe, and do drugs.

It was no longer fun, she waiting until she heard her mom's shout goodnight. She'd pull a bag from under her bed, undo the lid and pound all different drugs into her body. She had countless messages, none of people she cared about.

Most night she'd be trying to find herself again, August wondered if the old her was still in there; or was it hollow like the reason of her.

She hadn't muttered a word to anyone since coming home, nothing.
Her mom's were terrified, they hadn't seen their daughter in over a month, they cursed the decision they made for building a bathroom in their daughters bedroom.

Maria had finally had enough, she came charging towards August's door. She knocked, waiting patiently behind it.

August didnt answer, she didnt move from her bed. Maria opened the door, walking into the mess of her daughters room.

"Hey, baby, you okay?" August's eyes didn't move from the spot they were staring at, not even to blink anymore.

"Baby?" Her mom cornered the room, sitting by the side of her legs. Placing a hand to her cheek, she asked again. "August?"

August moved her eyes towards her mom, still not talking. Her mom smiled, leaning forward placing a kiss to her cheek.

"Is there anything I can get for you?" August looked at her empty water bottle, Maria followed her eye line and quickly grabbed the bottle. "I'll go get you fresh water." She didn't bother to wait for a reply, knowing she won't get one.

Maria placed the jug of water down on the night stand, looking around her daughters room; her clothes thrown, cups stacked and a vinyl record playing.

She decided to help, picking up the dirty clothes, throwing away the trash and cleaning up the cups. She put the vinyl back to the beginning. Leaving her daughters room soon after.

"Thank you" Maria heard the faint sound of her daughters voice, looking over August was staring at the celling. Maria smiled, leaving the room so her daughter could carry on with her day.

August pushed off her bed, walking over to her desk where she'd left her phone. Her shirt rode up her body, hanging on her hip. Her shorts pulled down ever so slightly, her hip bone on display.

Unknown
Hi?
Is this August, its Vada Cavell

August checked the time, seeing how the messaged had been left on delivered for 2 days. She cursed herself, replying soon after.

August
Hi. Yeah, it's August.

August hadn't expected much, maybe assuming Vada would block her number after the stunt she'd played. But Vada messaged within seconds, replying the moment she got the message.

Vada
How have you been? Mia reached out earlier this week asked if you had replied to me

August
Just been in my head lately, how about you?

Vada
It's hard, nothing like that has ever happened to me. I'm just really lost right now, maybe we should hang out? Talk about out

August bit her lip, knowing she'd rather absorb in a pit of acid than talk about her feelings, however she didn't reply with that. Instead she replied with a "sure" and left it with that.

She noticed the chain of messages Mia had sent.

Mia
Hi, u ok?

Mia
Auggie?

Mia
How have you been?

Mia
Auggie?

Mia
You okay?

Mia
Vada cavell messaged you

Mia
Your mom's are worried about you, they've talking about it with my dad's.

Mia
Are you ignoring me?

Mia
August?

August sighed, pushing the phone back on the desk and falling back on her bed. Letting the sheets absorb her whole, falling into a world that didn't have so much pain. Reality drenched her parade, scorching hot flames under her feet. August reached up, her nails digging in her face; leaving deep, red marks as she did.

Screaming into her sheets before hurrying to take a shower, knowing she'll probably end up hanging out with Vada tomorrow, or-

She checked out side, seeing as the sun still hung in the sky. She could hang out with Vada today.