Emotional Wreck | ᵀʰᵉ ᶠᵃˡˡᵒᵘᵗ

ⁱ ᵈᵒⁿᵗ ᶠᵉᵉˡ

A/N
!WARNING!
Again, this book is about a girl struggling with mental health: self-harm, suicidal thoughts will all be things I write about.

WARNING! Chapter contains: blood, scratching herself, suicidal thoughts, alcohol

Water always felt so satisfying dropping down August's body, feeling the heavy sensation pressing down on all her tight muscles left her open mouthed and smiling. Nothing like how she felt currently; her knees tucked to her chin, a low cry leaving her lips.

Julia wouldn't feel like this, Julia would pick herself up, dust off the pain and continue to be a good daughter.

The god damn fucking water. She hated it, her back arched away from the water. Slamming down, hitting her skin; scorching hot heat sliding down her body. She opened her mouth, her teeth grazing her knee.

"Baby, You okay?" Nina's voice came through the door, worried and concerned. August didn't answer at first, continuing to bit down on her knee.

"August?" Maria called out, her hand banging on the door; urgent, constant. August groaned, screaming into her knee. Why didn't they understand she needed five fucking seconds alone.

"What!" She shouted back, her voice shook through her mom's bodies. Nina hadn't heard her daughter voice in days, hearing the sudden melody shocked her.

"Are you okay? Do you need anything?" Maria asked, her hand still tapping the door, August slammed her head forward; colliding with her knee.

"I'm fine." She mumbled back, her head throbbing at the repeating way she hit her head. Anything to stop the nothingness in her head, she'd do anything.

She heard shuffling on the other side of the phone, soon the banging stopped, along with her mom's voices. The girl rolled her head to the side, back and forth, forth and back.

Nothing

Nothing

Nothing

Vada.

Vada?

August left the shower, brushing her hair, then teeth. The second she got to her room the towel dropped, reaching over to her phone she didn't care about her nakedness.

August
Do you want to hang out today?

It was worth a shot, Vada didn't have to accept. At least August could say she tried. August placed her phone back down, rolling onto her bed.

"Honey, we'll be back later. You need anything ring me or your mom!" August groaned in return. Her skin ached for the sudden warmth, missing the water droplets pressing hard into her skin.

Her phone pinged, she waited a minute. Her chest raised, dipping ever so slightly. She flipped off her bed, walking over to her closet. She didn't bother to chose something that would make another eyes widened, mouth drop; she just wanted something comfortable.

Everything she wore felt scratchy, rough rubbing against her skin. Nothing felt right, not even her sheets felt comforting anymore, holding no warmth, just a simple bed.

Scratching; wanting to scrape her own eyes out was a common thought. Anything, anything to stop this numb feeling.

Before the shooting she was angry, mad, everything irriated her. Now, nothing mattered. She could sit on a hot stove and she wouldn't flinch, stab her own hand and wouldn't notice.

Constant undenying thought, there was only so much her nails could do. Her thighs, her hair, her palms were the places she'd target. Nothing that would leave a scar, only leave a mark for her to look back on.