Under My Skin

Chapter 17- I Think I Am Going To Be Sick

Natalie's POV

It's been 3 weeks since Luca was last here and I broke things off. I would be lying if I said it hasn't completely fucked me up because it has. I have cried myself to sleep every night and I hate that I let him get the best of me and I let my emotions get in the way. I have punched my wall until my knuckles are black and blue, I have barely eaten, and I look like complete shit. Not to mention my nightmares have been really horrible. I have hardly slept and it's really starting to get to me. I fall asleep in class and just can't focus at all.

I have seen Luca a few times at school and I have caught him looking my way, but I just do my best to ignore him.

"Are you sure you are ok?" Jessie asks sounding concerned.

"Yeah. I am good." I tell her faking a smile and pushing my feelings aside like I always do.

"No you are not. Get ready because we are getting drunk this weekend." She says.

I just chuckle and try my best to not think about all the crap I have felt these past few weeks. Honestly the thought of getting intoxicated sounds awesome.

The weekend is here, and it's time for Jessie and I to go out drinking. We get fixed up and head to a party at some guy she met's house. We instantly find the booze and begin to chug away. We dance and sing together while two guys find their way to us on the dance floor. I find myself heavily intoxicated within an hour and a half. The guy I am dancing with begins to kiss me and grope me. I am so drunk and out of it I can hardly protest even though I am trying.

He pulls us away from the crowd and into an empty bedroom. He kisses me heavily while he backs me up onto a bed. I fall backwards as he lands on top of me. He continues to kiss me and then begins trying to remove my clothes. I tell him to stop but despite my protests, he keeps trying to undress me. I try to hit, punch, and slap him but it does me no good as he is much bigger and stronger than me. I yell for help and am about ready to give up, when suddenly the guy is ripped from my body and I hear what sounds like fighting.

I sit up to find Luca beating the shit out of the guy that was just trying to rape me. Brittany is with him and is telling him to stop but he just can't seem to. He hits him over and over again until the guy is unconscious.

"Luca! He's knocked out. Stop!!" I finally find my voice again and Luca listens to me despite Brittany begging him to stop for the last few minutes repeatedly.

He looks at me with nothing but anger and hurt in his eyes before he charges out of the room. Brittany runs out behind him. I go find Jessie to tell her what has happened and she agrees that we need to leave. We get back to Jessie's house and all the emotions I have been holding in let loose.

"Why did I let myself get so involved with Luca?!" I ask myself more than Jessie.

"I don't know. Maybe you were falling in love with him?" She asks and I scoff.

"Love isn't real. It's just some made up bullshit. I don't love Luca or anyone else for that matter. Just stop. We were fucking. That's all. Nothing more."
I tell her denying that I have any type of strong feelings for him.

"Well, I just have never seen you get this worked up over any guy. And it's Luca. You hate him remember?" She asks.

Do I hate Luca? Maybe I used to. But not anymore. No matter how badly I want to hate him I just can't.

"You are right. Fuck him. Let's just not have this conversation anymore. I need to sleep." I say before letting sleep consume me.

Luca's POV

I find myself at another stupid party. Back to the same old shit. Hanging out with the guys and Brittany. While I don't mind hanging with them as much, I hate being with Brittany. She is just such a bitch. Now I know exactly how Natalie felt about her.

Natalie.

Just thinking of her name makes me want to go find her and beg her to forgive me. But I can't and she won't. I seriously hate everything. Brittany asks me if we can go somewhere quiet and I reluctantly agree. I hope she doesn't try anything. I am definitely not in the mood. When we get in there she sits me on the bed.

"Luca, I need to tell you something." She begins.

Oh geez here we go. Is she going to confess she cheated? Is she going to try to blackmail me into doing something I don't want to do?

"Luca....I'm....pregnant." She says and my heart stops.

"What??" I ask shocked and upset. This cannot be true. Please God no.

"Yeah, you knocked me up. So after graduation, we need to get hitched ASAP." She says.

"What the fuck?! How?! I used a condom." I say still shocked and in denial.

"Well, you fucked me pretty hard last month so maybe that one broke?" She says acting like this isn't a big deal.

"Fuck!!!" I scream as I put my fist through the wall.

"Well I mean we were gonna have kids one day. Just a littler earlier than expected, right?" She says.

"You are fucking crazy. I don't want kids with you Brittany. I can't stand you. I don't even want to marry you." I tell her honestly for the first time.

"Well Luca I am sorry. You aren't my number one pick either, but here we are. So we have to make the best of it." She says.

I start to reply but realize I hear a loud commotion in the room next to us. It sounds like someone is telling someone else to stop and get off of her. What the fuck?

Adrenaline pumping, I bust through the door of the room next door and the sight takes my breath from my lungs. A man is trying to force himself on Natalie and I see red. I didn't even realize she was here. I rip him from on top of her and I punch him repeatedly. Blow after blow I hit him with every bit of strength I have. I hear yelling behind me but I don't care. I am going to kill this mother fucker. How dare he fucking touch her. I realize he has stopped fighting back after a few minutes and I hear Natalie's voice tell me to "stop." I finally snap back to my senses as I look at her and then run out of the room.

I may have just killed a guy and I am going to be a father. I think I am going to be sick.