The Sub Rosa [Completed]

Chapter 19

I removed the scrubs I wore inside the intensive care unit where Lysimachus was being observed. His appearance has changed for the past few months, I haven't seen him.

He lost weight, and he seems so tired.

They told me what happened to him. Heavy beverages were scattered around on his flat, where he drank a lot and got intoxicated. 

He was found lying unconscious on the bathroom floor, and his left wrist was bloody from cutting it deeply.

His father's men investigate the whole flat.
 
There are no signs of foul play because of the suicide note in the bathroom sink and the one-minute video of him that he took before trying to kill himself.
 
The letter he had manually written for me was really beautiful. But the clip you left for me..... I don't have the heart to watch the it because it is too painful.

Pinabayaan mo ang sarili simula ng umalis ako!

Bakit kailangan pang humantong sa ganito Lysimachus? Anong ginagawa mo sa sarili mo! Hindi kita mapapatawad kung talagang mawawala ka!

Aanhin ko ang maliit na pirasong papel iniwan mo para sakin kung hindi ikaw mismo ang magbibigay. Paano ako maniniwala na talagang mahal mo ako kung magpa pakamatay ka? Ha! Paano!

I just can't believe that a man as brave and stoic as him would even do it despite the fact that he can simply find another woman better than me.
 
Tahimik lamang akong naka-upo sa labas kasama ang papa ng asawa ko. Kaming dalawa lang ang narito dahil gusto niyang kay Lysimachus ako mag focus muna.

Binasag nito ang katahimikang nag hahari kasi talagang ayaw kong magsalita.

"Amastrise, you need to be here until he wakes up and recovers. I wouldn't meddle with your marriage to my other son, Seleucus, but you also have to understand that I am a father who wants happiness and health for his children."
 
Hindi ako agad nakaimik dahil dapat ko ring Isa alang-alang ang iisipin at mararamdaman ng aking asawa. I care about Lysimachus and I still love him but I'm married now.

Sumulyap ako sa malaking salaman kung saan tanaw ang putlang putla mukha ni Lysimachus, nakahiga habang may oxygen na nakakabit.

Because of alcohol intoxication hindi pa siya nagigising.

"Buntis po ako at may asawa na kaya sana maintindihan niyo po kung hindi ako laging narito. I am going to be a mother now, and as much as I want to take care of Lysimachus, I also have to take care of myself and my babies."

Mahina ngunit magalang kong sabi.

Pagkarating ko rito ay may tumingin agad saking doktora kung ayos lang ba ako at ang mga anak ko. She wanted me to take a rest immediately when she noticed how stressed I was.

Truth be told, I don't feel tired at all; I just became numb since I know everything. Hindi naman sumakit ang tiyan ko o kung ano mang masama ay wala.

Nagpahinga ako ng ilang oras dito sa hospital bago hinayaang pumasok para makita si Lysimachus.

"Seleucus wasn't the father of my grandchildren, so one of the three is. I'm not a fool to believe that my third son got you pregnant in just two weeks when your baby was already a month old in your womb."

Hindi ako sumagot dahil tama naman si Congressman Richard. Magsinungaling kana o takpan ang ninuman sa mga bata huwag lang sa mga matatanda dahil subok na sila ng panahon.
 
I ran away and became involved in polygamous relationships wherein I got pregnant, but I don't know who really got me pregnant among the three.

We were pretty wild back at the island, so I was a bit confused. 

I don't know who is the father of my triplets, but I felt something when I saw Ptolemy, and now that I have seen Lysimachus, I have the feeling that they are the fathers. Either of them will come out as a 100 percent match if we conduct paternity testing because they're twins.
 
If it was Azrael then I don't have problem too. 

"Alam na po ba ng tatlo?" Humarap ako rito at sa mata nito ako tumingin.

Kung ako ang ta-tanungin ay kahit hindi ko muna sabihin sa kanila. There was so much trauma from what happened, and it's not that easy to forget even though I already heard the truth. 

He heaved a sigh and told me that they still didn't know.

Malamang Amastrise!

Alam kong ayaw niyang pag-usapan ang nangyari sa anak kaya hindi ko tinanong at hinayaan siyang magkwento.

Hindi ko alam kung ano dapat ang maramdaman.

Nagising ako kahit pa dilat ang aking mga mata.

"You still love them, but your mind and heart are just clouded by my mistakes. Believe me when I say they're innocent."

Hindi kagaya ng kanina niyang boses na medyo may harang pa sa salita. Ngayon kasi ay nawala iyon at gumaan ang usapan.

"Seleucus wouldn't listen to me and always did what he thought was morally right. He will bluntly say that he doesn't want lies and anomalies, so he cut ties with me to build his own wealth. Ang lahat ng mayroon siya galing mismo sa sarili nitong sikap."

He was not smiling but the tone of his voice was lively and proud.

Kung alam mo lang Seleucus your papa was so proud of you. Hindi lang sguro nito masabi sayo.

Tumingin siya sa malaki kong tiyan, tumitig roon at nakitaan ko ng ngiti pero mabilis lang dahil seryoso na ulit itong binalik sakin ang tingin.

"These four men won't be this successful without you. I'm not saying this to boost your ego, but as their father, I have seen that you were their inspiration. "

Magsasalita na sana ako pero tinaas nito ang kamay waring pinipigilan akong magsalita dahil hindi pa siya tapos. Tinikom ko agad ang bibig.

"I don't have a good background, unlike what my Kuya Richmond has. I was imprisoned for loving Thrace. What we had was taboo. It was such a disgrace for the family to know what we did was equal to death. We lived together until the twins were born." Parang mapait na masaya ang pagkwento niya base sa boses.

Hindi ko inaasahan na sasabihin ni congressman sakin ang tungkol sa nakaraan.

He looked away.

"Our relationship was on and off when I got her pregnant again with Seleucus, and she didn't want to continue. She then ran away from me with our sons and hid. It took me another couple of years before I found them, and I got her pregnant, and my daughter, Arsinoe, was born, but I was a jerk for being blinded by lies that led me to be the worst father."

Nagulat ako nang bigla siyang bumaling sakin ng seryong seryoso.

"Do you know why I'm telling you all of this?"

I'm still processing everything he told me, so I couldn't answer him instantly..

"Ayaw kong maranasan ng mga anak ko ang mapagkaitan ng panahon at karapatan para sa kanilang mga anak. Ako ang nagkamali kaya ka nasaktan dahil nauna ang galit ko sa iyong ama kaya naisip kong gumanti. Alam kong labis na kung hihingiin ko sayo ito kaya nakiki-usap ako sayo..... Bigyan mo sila ng pangalawang pagkakataon, Amastrise."

For a moment, it made me think of the misunderstanding and poor decision he had made in the past. I was like him in being impulsive.

"Pag-iisipan ko po." Baliktarin ko man ang mundo hindi mabubura ang pagmamahal na mayroon ako sa kanila.

Kung bakit kasi magulo ang pag-ibig!