Neighbours (Bucky Barnes x OC)

Thirty

Bucky

"So, this man was a casualty of something you could not help and he was going to hurt a woman?" His therapist spoke sense, regardless of whether he liked it or not. "Off the record, it sounds like you did the world a favour."

Bucky eyed her carefully, not wanting to say something that would make her think he was losing it again. He needed to stay as far away from therapy as possible but he had to speak to somebody about the way he felt. He couldn't bring it up with Lia again, not now.

"It was still me. I did that, regardless of who the man was and what he did he was a person."

"You're a person. A person who was been mind controlled and made to do things that no one should be made to do." Bucky took in a deep breath, staring right at his therapist with a hard face. His jaw had been tensed so much that was it was starting to hurt but he showed no signs of it.

"It was still me."

"We've all done things we aren't proud of. The thing you seem to forget, James, is that all of things you did that you weren't proud of were not you. They were all the winter soldier and that is not you."

It was obvious her words hit him hard. Accepting that he was no longer the killer that he was for most of his life is one of the hardest things he has ever had to. Bucky wanted more than ever to have died during the war or survived and come home to a pretty dame ready to butter him up for winning. The thing he forgot was, life was unfair. Nothing ever worked out the way it should've and now he carried around the burden of the ex-assassin with PTSD issues.

"Our time's up for this week. Think about what I said James, it'll help eventually."