YOU AND I (A Bus Love Story) [Editing]

Ride #65: The Other Letter

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TO: RAIJIN TAKANO

 

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Dear Raijin,

First of all, I want to say I love you. Then I want to thank you for everything.  Seriously, there are a lot of things that I wanted to thank you about but I won't narrow it down because I know you know what it's all about by now. And I wanted you to know that you are a blessing from God. You are my angel, you are my life. You know when they say life's a rollercoaster ride? A chance to experience both heaven and hell in this crazy place called Earth? I knew right away that you are my ride you gave me the chance to experience heaven and hell, you hurt me but you also made me felt loved and cherished, you make me question my sanity and morality, you make me crazy – a good kind of crazy, by the way. And you know what? I didn't regret any of it because it's all worth it. You are worth it.

About the story that we're going to make, actually, I've already written my point of view from the very start until this very moment (The papers' in the drawer beside my hospital bed). I just want you to insert your point of view or add some more. You can even write it the way you want it to be. What's important is that you finish and publish it. Even one copy will do. Then I want you to tell our love story to our children when they're old enough to understand what it means to be crazy and in love. I want them to know how brave their mother was and how awesome their father is.

Yeah I know it may seem that I'm trying to make a point. And yes I am. The thing is I lied to you; I lied to each and every one that's special to me. I'm not really cancer-free; from the very start I cannot survive the inevitable.   When I was in the USA there's this experimental thing that I agreed to undergo because it could possibly save the babies. The medicine that I'm taking for the past months is designed to protect the babies and on the side it makes the person who's taking it stronger until they gave birth. I don't know if it really works but I guess it is working because I'm still here.

The doctor said that there's a ninety percent possibility that I wouldn't make it after giving birth. But on the bright side I still have a ten percent chance that I could give birth and live for a week or two, after that. So yeah, that keeps me going, I'm holding on to that ten percent for so long. I don't even care if it's just an additional seven to fourteen days. Damn, I'd give anything to spend even just a little more time with you and our children.

When I woke up this morning I knew something big would happen, but most of all, I knew I had to tell all of you about this, but I figured I can't. I can't go on and tell all of you that I'm still on the process of dying while you're all happy and so full of life around me. So I just wrote it. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for being a selfish person for the past weeks; I just want the rest of my living days to be happy even if it's wrong. I'm just making the best out of everything that's left for me.

I realize that I was holding on to that ten percent until I woke up this morning. Somehow I know that I'm not going to make it through this day –that it's time for me to take a rest.  Take care of Shannon and Shannah and all of the people that are always there for us, take care of them for me. God I'm going to miss you all of you so much, especially you, just the mere thought of not being with you hurts me.

Always remember that...

It will be You and I, for all eternity.

I love you so much, My Sleepy Head.

 

                                                                                                                                                Love,

                                                                                                                                             Your Wife.

 

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The End

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Hugs and kisses

 -GirlOfMystique-