YOU AND I (A Bus Love Story) [Editing]

Ride #62: Thank you for loving me

Jino's POV

It's been more than three weeks since the day I talked to Raijin. It's a very tough decision to make and a very painful event to remember. I did not think that what I've done is the right thing to do ( Well, the hell I know what's the right and the wrong thing to do in our situation, right?), but at one point I do think that it's for the best.

And I hope it really is for the best. In a few hours time she will be attending our supposed to be wedding. I wished and I prayed that all will be well and that her happiness will be restored. Because, for a fact, she deserves it more than any of us. She had already faced more than her fair share of painful and tragic events in this lifetime.

I knocked at her hospital room's door. Yes, she's still staying at the hospital for monitoring, she's now cancer-free because of the newly developed cancer fighting program at the United States, that was able to save her and the babies. But we can never be so sure, so I insisted that she should stay monitored at a hospital, at least, after she give birth. I was beyond happy when she agreed to my suggestion because just like me she's also considering the possibilities.

"Pasok." Narinig kong sabi niya matapos kong kumatok. I sighed. Bearing in mind that This is it.

I turned the knob and as I slowly opened the door, I entertained the thoughts of just running away and be gay as hell. Because I'm afraid. No, I'm beyond afraid.

But I did not. Instead, I pasted a smile on my face as I saw her looked at me smiling. "Hi!" She greeted enthusiastically.

"Hi." I said and tried to smile wider, but I cannot. I walked towards her and sat at the chair beside her bed.

"Anong binabasa mo?" I asked.

"Ah eto? One of the books that you bought for me." She said as she closed the book and I read the title and it says 'A Woman's Guide to Parenthood'. Yeah, I bought her that book and other stuffs like that. "Would you mind reading for us? I love it when you read aloud and explain to us what it means..." She asked, she really loves it when I read her stuffs like this. I nodded and she handed me the book and when I started scanning the pages she spoke again. "Naisip ko lang, ang saya siguro kung mag-asawa na tayo tapos kukwentuhan mo yung mga bata." I froze for a few seconds but as soon as I recovered I just started reading aloud. Trying hard not to breakdown and cry.

Pero kung nang-iinis nga naman ang pagkakataon. Kinuha niya yung libro at inilapag sa bedside table.

"Thank you talaga ha, Jino. Kasi kahit disgrasyada ako tinanggap mo pa rin ako at handang pakasalan." I frowned at what she said.

"'Di ka disgrasyada." I muttered.

"Haynako, 'wag ka muna epal, pwede? Nagmomoment ako eh." Sabi niya. At natawa kami ng bahagya.

"Pero gusto ko kapag lumabas na yung mga anak ko gusto ko ikaw nalang magstory-telling sa kanila, ha? Kasi kapag ako nagkwento una tawa bago ko makwento yung funny parts, una hagikgik kapag sweet and romantic parts at una rants kapag ayoko nung story plot. Kaya ikaw nalang, please?" Tapos nag-pout pa siya para magpa-cute. She's now talking animatedly. Lagi niyang sinasabi 'yan at dati masaya at madali lang sumang-ayon. Dati. Iba na ngayon.

I averted my gaze. Looking anywhere but her. Hindi niya yata napansin kaya nagpatuloy lang siya sa pagsasalita. "Like I said hindi mo sila kailangang mahalin basta ang mahalaga alagaan at i-guide mo sila. Kasi feeling ko 'di ko kaya gawin yun mag-isa. Feeling ko papalpak ako."

Finally, I turned to look at her. And I noticed that she is looking somewhere on her blanket (?), while fidgeting with her fingers. I looked at her intently and memorized her facial features. I was about to avert my gaze again when our eyes met. I can no longer take it. I can no longer look at her like this and do not feel any pain. It has become painful to look at her.