Stuck - Larry Stylinson

Chapter 5

"I'm terrified

cause you're headed straight for it,

might get it"

Louis' POV

He asked if I was alright. 'Hey, are you alright?' was all he said but it still hit me hard. He asked, he cared. He actually wondered if I was alright. He asked me.
No one had asked me since that happened if I was alright. No one. Not a soul.
It was easy to say that I didn't know what to answer. So I did the only thing I could think of, I walked away.
It was probably stupid, but could you really blame me? No one ever cared about me. And I still didn't understand why I had talked to Harry? What was wrong with me? I was supposed to keep everybody out and not speak with anybody. But even stranger why did Harry talk to me? Why did he even bother, I wasn't worth it. And he was one of Niall's friends so I could not become a friend with Harry. I didn't even want to be friend with Harry! Or did I? Of course I didn't! It was just his locks that made me want to tangle my fingers through them and poke the dimples he got when he smiled. And maybe hug his long torso and maybe just maybe even ki-No! What was I thinking? Am I finally going totally insane?
I could not possible like Harry. I didn't even know him! But it was just something about him that made me feel safe. And feeling safe was something I hadn't felt for a long time. But I've never, ever, liked anybody in a 'I'm in love' way, so I couldn't know how it felt. I didn't want to know how it felt!
Being in love just seemed complicated. Especially if you were in love with someone in the same sex. So if I was in lov- WAIT! Stop thinking right now! What was going on? Was I considering being in love with Harry!? That was sick! I didn't even know him.
Love at first sight. A voice reminded me and I groaned. No. There was no way I loved Harry. No way.
I shouldn't even be thinking about it, it was just stupid. I was probably just tired, some sleep would do good. I sighed and brushed my teeth before I went and laid down in my uncomfortable bed.
I've been here for about three years, would I ever get out of here? Would I be able to get a job, a house and maybe a family? I probably wouldn't. Sure, I went to school here and I was as smart, if not smarter, than anybody else in my age. I could go to some collage and then get a small job. Maybe be a teacher. I could be a drama teacher, I always loved theater when I was younger and made mum go with me on some shows every now and then. I had played a small role in a school play, but nothing more. I could never get good enough to work with it.
And to get a job I first needed to get better and it didn't seem to be happening anytime soon. I was going to die in here, I've already tried to but still haven't succeed. But I wasn't suicidal anymore. I was just not keen on living.
I had tried to end it so many times but there was always something or someone who stopped me. It took the staff over two years to decide to get all razors out of my room. So from now on if I was in a need of a shave as I was almost every morning. I had to ask someone in the staff, or in my case glare at them until they understood what I wanted, and then have them to watch my every move as I shaved. It was pretty awkward to have their eyes on me while I shaved, I didn't know why but it just was. It made me feel uncomfortable, just as if someone stared at me while I ate.  At least I wasn't  not a girl and had to shave my legs or my armpits, 'cause that would have been really awkward.
Tomorrow was Thursday which meant wake up, school, meet Miss Grimes, go to bed and some meal in between that. I sighed and turned around in the bed, trying to find a
comfortable position. I finally did and closed my eyes waiting for sleep to take over.