Stuck - Larry Stylinson

Chapter 11

"See the crack, pull it back from the window,

you stay low, say when"

Louis' POV

We reached my room and sat down on the bed, close. A bit too close for my liking but I didn't feel like complaining. Harry was still crying a little and he would sniff every now and then. At least he had stopped sobbing now.

"Can we talk, Louis?" he asked and I nodded slowly, having a bad feeling about it. "I...I want to tell you about my past and why I'm here." he said and I nodded again showing him it was alright. "Okay...so uhm.. In my family there's my mum, my sister, me and...my stepdad." I nodded. "Well and...promise not to get mad or hate me after this."

"I could never hate you Harry and I'm not getting mad Harry, I promise." I said and he nodded silent tears still falling.

"When I was fifteen I kind of...I came out." Harry whispered and I held in a gasp. Harry was gay? Not that I cared, it didn't matter what he was. The fact that he was gay almost made me happy...that was weird I shouldn't be happy about it but I still was.

"Okay...that's cool I guess." I said and Harry gave me a thankful smile.

"So I came out but only to my family...my mum and sister was very supportive and happy for me but my step dad. My step dad wasn't okay with it and he thought he could 'fix' me by telling me how awful it was and how disgusting I was to even think of it. I...I didn't listen to him at first so he started to hit me to get it in better, so I would learn. I was already bullied at school for no practical reason and when I got home my he would always hit me, so I started to cut and I've done ever since I was fifteen. But now I had to stop 'cause they don't allow me to." Harry said and I felt bad for him, his dad was an awful person being. Harry had done nothing wrong. He was one of the most amazing human beings I had ever met.

"I know what it feels like, like, to have to stop doing something you're so used to that you almost crave it. And to be honest with you, Harry, I didn't start cutting until I came here." I said and Harry gave me a surprised look.

"Are you, like, still doing it and how did you get hold of a razor?" he asked.

"Not anymore but there was less security here when I came and I shave every once in a while and there I got the razor. But from now on if I need to shave there's at least one person who is watching me." I explained and Harry shook his head.

"Isn't that terrible annoying?" he asked and I nodded.

"They just want to make sure I don't do anything stupid." I said and Harry sighed.

We sat in a comfortable silence before Harry spoke again.

"Can I ask you a thing?" he asked.

"Yes." I answered silently hoping it wasn't about my past, just as much as I did want to tell Harry I didn't feel ready for it. Not yet at least.

"I..uhm.. it was a while ago but...uhm.."

"Just spit it out." I said pressing him a bit.

"Okay, Liam and Niall said you had tried to commit suicide seven times under the last two years and I just wondered if it's true." Harry said quickly. I shuddered at the memory.

I sat in the bathroom with bleeding wrists waiting for the darkness to take me. It was on its way, I could see it. The pain on other hand was clear and taking over every part of my body. But it would soon be over. Just as the darkness came closer the door opened and I heard a nurse scream before I fainted. That was my first time and it went all to hell. Well not literally, if it had gone to hell I would have been happy because then I would be dead at least. The nurse Ms. Williams had found me and I had fainted due the blood lost when I woke up again I was in the home's hospital.

"Louis?" Harry asked and I blinked a few times.

"Yes?"

"Is it true?" he asked.

"Well, I'm not sure if seven is the correct number but something like that." I answered and shrugged like it wasn't a big deal.

My second try hadn't been planned so I was not sure if it counted.

It was a cold January night and I sat in one of the house's big windows. The window was slightly open and the cold air slipped in. I was tired and my eyes kept closing so it was not much later that I started to drift of in a slumber. But before that could happen I heard the window creak and I fell out from it, a small scream escaped my lips. I hit the hard ground and closed my eyes. I could feel that I was bleeding but I didn't know where from. Something was definitely broken and it was really cold. I felt myself getting surrounded by the dark and a small smile placed itself on my lips.

"Why?" Harry asked and I shook my head. I couldn't tell him why. I didn't tell anyone. I didn't want anyone to know about my weakness and how big impact that really made on my life. "You don't have to tell me, I'm just curious. Sorry"

"I will tell you, eventually...just not now." I said and Harry smiled probably pleased by my answer.

I knew I would tell him, it was just a question about when and how.

A/N: Here you have it, Chapter 11. I'm still sick and on Tuesday (the second of April) I'm travelling to London for a few days and wont update therefor. I'll try to update before I leave but I have a lot to do so we'll see. Either way thanks for reading, voting, fanning and commenting. xx

/Agnes :)