What If Extra: "Where Da Hell Am I?"

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Author: "Hello Readers! This is a What if! I know. Title says it all! Timeline is set after Yang got back from whatever she was doing in Mistral. Before the Incident between Her and Silver. Enjoy!"

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*Vale Forest*

*???'s Pov*

I wake up in a green forest in a drunken haze in my eyes. I knew I shouldn't take dat damn jug from Jake! Man doesn't know how to make a damn moonshine! Fucking raspberries!?!?! I spit in disgust when I hear a growl. Da Hell is this? Some dog thing with bones coming out of it. I stare at the damn thing when it pounced at me. I raise my armed in defense and the thing snapped its stinking jaws shut around it. Well, it tried to, but my guns are too much for its jaws. What a weak creature. I stared at it as it chewed. I think its chewing. Oh? I am bleeding. 

???: "Dat all ya have runt? Pfft. Think damn moss rats bite harder."

I grab my ever-trusty Boompistol and shoved the barrel in its eye. After the ever-satisfying bang, its turn into ash.

???: "Da Hell? All that and I get nuthin? Where Da hell am I? FUCKING CHOPPED CROCKEN!?!?! Wait

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???: "Da Hell? All that and I get nuthin? Where Da hell am I? FUCKING CHOPPED CROCKEN!?!?! Wait. DAMN IT! Did it wrong... Too old for this shit. Now what?"

That is a good question. Where Da Hell Am I? This isn't Ostrix. I'm wearing pants for starters. I get up and start walking. Da them dog was annoying. Don't want to fight a pack though. I get nuthin for it and I waste my baby's time and ammo. I pat my Boompistol and return it to its hostler. Now the real question. Which way? Aww fuck it. That way it be!

*Two Hours Later*

I found the ruins of what was once a small city. Whatever attacked this place liked to use fire. The walls are the only remaining structure but that's all they were. Just slabs of concrete. No defenses? Even stinkin Rotdraught had some turrets! Yet I know one thing for certain. This ain't no Terran World. I see some construction workers nearby. People! Wait. Does that woman have.... dog ears and a tail? Huh. Taking the term Bitch a bit literally. Youngsters these days and their stupid phases. 

???: "Ohi! Where da the hell is this blasted place?"

Worker: "huh? This is Vale. Or rather what was Vale. Place got destroyed a while ago thanks to the Grimm and those bastard Heralds."

Worker Dog: "Hey! Are you okay sir? You're bleeding!"

???: "Just a scratch. Who be them, Heralds?"

Worker Dog: "You don't know? That group of monsters done more damage to the world than the damn Grimm!"

Worker: "They caused the Razing of Vale and the Butchering of Vacuo. Ever since that Crimson bastard showed up, Atlas has been throwing its weight around. But really. That wound looks nasty."

Crimson? No. It can't be.... But maybe. Oh? Thats right. Fuckin Bone Dog. I spit in my "wound" and bend down to rub some dirt into it. This seemed to shock these workers. Useless wimps. Can't even take a wound like this? Their parents should be ashamed. Being too weak to raise their youngsters right. Damn Parents. THEY RUIN THEIR CHILDREN!

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