The crow and the beast - Kaz brekker

chapter 5 - bonding over trauma

Cara's sleep was full of terrors and memories. A flash of claws, the metal clanging of chains, growling, people cheering. She shot awake multiple times before finally giving up on sleeping for the night.

She got up and put on a dark outfit to fit in. she took her book with her and went downstairs, taking a seat in the corner of the slat. She took out her pencil and opened her book. The slat wasn't busy at this time so she could focus on her book.

it wasn't until a soft clicking sound was heard that she looked up. she immediately knew who the clicking sound belonged to and she hoped she hadn't woken him up. she didn't pay him any attention until he sat down almost next to her at the round table, leaving 1 chair between them. He didn't say anything but it wasn't an awkward silence between them either.

slowly the nerves that Cara had felt ever since her night terrors faded away as she took comfort in the presence of the man next to her. When she was done with her drawing she ripped the piece of paper out of her book and slid it over to kaz. "it's a map of the pits" she simply said.

Kaz looked at the piece of paper in front of him, it was a detailed map with all the rooms and doors on it as well as both entrances to the establishment. "shall I explain the rooms to you?" Cara asked. Kaz looked at her for the first time tonight and nodded.

Cara stood up and took the seat next to kaz so she could point at the map. "This is the entrance to the pits, it leads to a pit – basically a hole in the ground with metal bars in top of it to prevent escape. The bars are thick, to thick for a shifter to bend. Around the pit ais where people come to watch and place their bets on the fight. There are separate entrances for the shifters themselves as well as a separate ... cage room for herbivores and carnivores. "

"When it was your turn to fight you would be picked up by one of the cage masters, a heavy chain would be attached to a metal collar around your neck, every shifter had their own. You would then be moved into the shift room where you were forced to shift .. by any means necessary. After a door would open and you would be moved into the pit where you had to fight to survive"

Cara pointed to the respective rooms. "attached to the herbivore area are 3 offices, I never went there but others told me that that is where you can find the pit masters and where all the paperwork is done. The carnivore and herbivore rooms are attached by a hallway and on the other end of the herbivore room is another exit, this is where they bring in .. new shifters. Its also the most heavily guarded entrance as there is a guard room attached to it. It's the way I escaped..."

kaz put a gloved hand over Cara's hand to motion for her to stop. "you don't have to say any more." Cara could feel his hand slightly trembling in his glove so she slowly pulled her hand from under his. "I did not wake you did i?" Cara asked. "no, I woke up early because I wanted to run over the heist we got planned for tomorrow one more time."

"you got a heist planned?" Cara cocked an eyebrow. "yes, we planned this one before you joined us. We can handle it, you should get some rest .." Cara nodded. "please let me know if you need anything. I will be at the market tomorrow to buy some supplies." Cara got up and went back over to her room.

When she next awoke it was early afternoon, going downstairs she did not see any of the crows so she walked straight outside. Since it was daylight there was no reason to shift as she would stick out in the crows with her black fur anyway. So she made her way down to the market.

she bought some herbs and tea leaves as well as some pastries. While walking around also bought a pair of gloves that she liked, if she was going to work during the night she might aswell have a pair as the nights in ketterdam could be brutally cold sometimes. The market was always a good place to listen to people talking, she listened and walked around for a while but eventually gave up and went back to the slat. It was almost evening by now so she got herself something to eat as she sat down at one of the tables.

it was deep In the night when suddenly the door was slammed almost out of its hinges as kaz stormed in with jesper on his trail. "are you going to tell me what happened or not?!" jesper almost yelled at kaz. But kaz did not pay any attention to jesper, or anybody at all, as he stormed upstairs his limp pretty bad.

Jesper let out a sign and came to sit next to Cara. "so I guess the heist did not go as planned." Cara said. "Actually it did! We got what we wanted but when kaz came out of the building he had this weird look in his eyes, something in there made him panic. He was trembling so bad he almost dropped his cane at some point. I don't know what happened, he did need to remove his gloves to pick a lock but that was only for a moment."

Cara thought for a moment, something must have triggered his trauma. "I will go talk to him in a little bit" Cara said. Jesper nodded. "good luck" he said as he left the slat. Cara went over to the bar and prepared a big mug of her special tea.

She went upstairs quickly getting one of the pastries she bought at the market before making her way to kaz's room. Before knocking she prepared herself knowing it would be bad. When she knocked there came no response. She waited a few seconds before knocking again.

The door swung open revealing a very angry but tired kaz brekker, his eyes immediately softened a bit when he saw it was her. "I brought you some tea and something to eat." Kaz turned around and limped to his desk where he sat down bringing his gloved hand to his face to pinch the bridge of his nose.

Cara stepped inside and carefully closed the door behind her. Slowly walking over to the desk she placed down the tea and pastry down in front of kaz. "the tea is made with the same tea mixture I gave you but I made it a bit stronger this time." Kaz brought the mug to his mouth and sipped from the tea. "you make it a lot better than I managed to" Cara smiled.

"It took me a while to find a way to make it taste good with the mixture." Kaz took another sip of his tea before he motioned for Cara to take a seat close to him. Cara could see his hands slowly regaining their strength as she saw him stop trembling, the tea was helping him. Kaz let out a breath as he felt his body relax.

"this is officially my favorite drink" Cara lightly giggled. "not more than 2 cups a day are allowed sir, otherwise it will loose its effect over time." Kaz took another sip. "2 cups a day it is."

"I am glad I could help you at least a little bit kaz, I know what it is like to relive the trauma. You know you can always talk to me right?" Cara looked at kaz and she could see that he had completely calmed down by now, his eyes were soft tho he has an almost permanent scowl.

Suddenly kaz took his cane and stood up. he walk over to his dresser, Cara noticed he was limping a lot less now, he rummaged through the dresser and took out a small piece of paper. He returned to his desk and sat back down.

Cara could see his hands ever so slightly started trembling again. "I had a brother once." Kaz placed the picture in front of Cara as he continued on. "we lost everything to pekka rollins ... then me and my brother got sick."

Cara saw how hard it was for kaz to tell the story, his hands now clearly trembling again, she wanted to hold his hand tell him its okay she wanted to comfort him but she knew it wouldn't end well with his touch aversion. Then she got an idea, she still had her gloves in her pocked from the market earlier.

She quickly took the gloves out of her pocked and slipped them on while kaz continued. "we both died to it, but I was reborn. They put the bodies on a sickboat and floated them away." His voice started trembling.

Cara took the hand of kaz that was resting on the table in both of her hands holding his hand between them. "I used my brothers ... body .. to get back to shore. Now every time I touch human skin ... I am back in the sea and all I feel is dead and ..." Cara had tears in her eyes.

The man before her went through so much but still found the strength to tell her. She slightly squeezed his hand in hers making him look up at her. "I was in the pits for 7 days." Cara released kaz's hand as she took our a pocket watch.

she opened the watch and inside the watch was a picture of her and her mom. "I came to ketterdam with my mother, she taught me everything I know, from reading to control over my shifts... she gave me this watch when I turned 12, it was the year of my first shift. She taught me how to read the time as she went away every night to work. One day she did not return from work when she normally does. I would later find out she worked at the pits as a willing participant... somehow the people there found out about me and they captured my mother and ambushed me while I looking for my mother on the streets. I tried to fight them off but .. I just wasn't strong enough."

Cara placed both hands in her lap and continued while looking at her hands. "I was put in a cage and forced to wear a collar. i was starved and beaten until I wouldn't fight back anymore. One night one of the guys attached my collar to a chain and brought me to the preparation room. They removed the chain once they put me in the cage attached to the pit. They beat me through the cage with long sticks and metal pipes screaming all kinds of things at me until I transformed into the big wolf out of anger. Once I did they opened the door to the pits.."

Tears were running down Cara's face now and suddenly kaz took her hand which caused her to look up at him, his hands trembled slightly but it wasn't that bad as both of you had gloves on. Cara continued "I entered the pits first, the people around were deafening it was horrible. Then the other door opened and out stormed a brown wolf, she went straight for my neck and I fought back to survive. when I got the wolf off of me I looked at the wolf's eyes and ... it was my mother ... she did not recognize me at all. Her eyes were crazy ... she wasn't in control. I did not want to fight my mother but I tried protecting myself, hoping to survive long enough for them to stop the fight ... they never did. My mother beat me. I was laying on the ground with my back ripped completely open until everything went red. I became a monster. All I could hear were people screaming and running. I wasn't fully in control but all I could think about was getting out of there."

Cara took a big breath. "I killed my mother ... she didn't stop attacking me .. there was no other way .. I tried ... when she lunged at me for the last time I took hold of er with my arms around her neck and squeezed until she stopped moving... and I ran. I went back the way I came through the tunnel. The cage wasn't strong enough to hold me and I bent the metal enough to go through. I crashed through the door to the carnivore cages as I heard howling and growling from everywhere. I ran trough and crashed through the tunnel to the herbivore cage room. All the shifters there cowered in their cages as I sprinted by them. I broke through the door towards the exit. The guards tried to stop me, I remember their fearful faces as I ripped them apart. I burst through the exit door and I was free..."

Kaz slowly took the pocket watch with the hand that wasn't holding hers and closed it. Putting the watch in the Cara's hand that he was holding. "I will burn that place to the ground." Cara looked up at kaz and she could see a murderous look in his eyes. "I will make them pay for what they did to you."