The crow and the beast - Kaz brekker

chapter 34 - forgiveness

Cara and inej took their time to go back to ketterdam, even though it was raining. Cara forced her body to relax when the slat came into view. "he will most likely still be at the crow club, I will go get him" inej said. Cara thanked her as she made her way inside the slat.

Few dregs were sitting at the tables talking to each other, she got something to eat from behind the bar and made herself a tea and brought them with her upstairs. To her surprise the door was unlocked. When she opened it the room was a mess.

She felt bad and started cleaning up the room as well as the table that she had spilled the herb mixture on this morning. She then looked at the window, she decided to put a closet in front of it for now until she could get that fixed. At least the cold won't come inside this way she thought.

once she was satisfied with her work she ate her food and went back downstairs to put her plate away, after she cleaned her plate she went back upstairs. Inej must have a hard time convincing kaz to come back she thought.

she lit a few candles around the room, having lost the moonlight from the window it had become very dark in the room. Her hand was hurting quite a lot, even though it was bandaged it still throbbed, she should have seen that coming since she just cleaned up the mess she had made earlier in the day.

she sat herself down on the nearest chair at the table and put her elbow on the table with her hand up in the air, she then slowly tried to stretch her fingers a little. It worked but it hurt a lot. Suddenly the door behind her slammed open. She jumped up in surprise and turned towards the person at the door.

kaz stood there, his eye swollen shut and his lip cut. But his one good eye still focused on her. they stood like this for a few moments until kaz spoke quietly. "please forgive me." Cara saw how hard it was for him to even say those 3 words.

She walked to him without breaking eye contact, she then walked around him and closed the door. That poor door needed changing as well she thought when she saw it barely hanging in its hinges. Kaz had lowered his head thinking Cara was leaving again when she walked passed him meaning he did not expect her hand on his face, he almost flinched away from the touch but regained himself quickly.

"kaz, I wouldn't be here if I had not forgiven you already." The corners of his mouth turned up into a small smile and his one good eye became soft. He dropped his cane to the ground and threw his arms around Cara bringing her close to him. "I am sorry I broke my promise. I wasn't thinking straight I –" Cara patted him on his back.

"I understand kaz." she pulled back slightly. "now lets get you cleaned up, you look like shit." Kaz smirked. Cara motioned for him to go take a seat and she then went downstairs to the bar to go get ice for his swollen eye. Once she returned kaz had taken a seat at the table.

She wrapped the ice in a towel and gave it to him. "hold this to your eye" she ordered him, he took the towel form her and held it to his eye without saying anything. She then took a wet rag and cleaned up the cut in his lip.

"I hope the other guys look worse." She said when she finished cleaning his cut. "you could say so yea." She put her hand over his gloved hand that was holding the towel to his eye and removed the towel, the swelling had gone down a little but not by much.

she carefully applied some salve against bruising around his eye carefully avoiding getting it into his eye. Only then he seemed to notice the bandage around her hand. he quickly removed his gloves and put them on the table. Then he took Cara's hand in his own, carefully as to not hurt her.

he knew she must have broken her hand to get out of the cuffs or at least strained it pretty badly. He slowly took off the bandage, Cara did not dare to stop him. once the bandage was off it revealed her hand, it was swollen and purple. There was also a cut on the top of her hand that seemed to have been pretty deep but it was already healing quite nicely.

Cara could see regret in his one good eye and she knew he was in a bad mindset right now. "it's alright kaz, It doesn't hurt as badly anymore. Its healing quite nicely, by tomorrow the swelling will probably be gone" he still had his brows furrowed. He hates it when Cara was hurt.

since he did not respond right away Cara spoke again. "why don't we get some sleep, you look like you need the rest." He looked up from her hurt hand and nodded his head.

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the next morning Cara knew immediately they had overslept when she woke up. the closet was still in fornt of the window so the light that normally woke her up in the morning never came and so she had overslept. Not that she minded it that much.

she was laying on her side her back to kaz but he held her close, his arm tightly around her waist. Cara couldn't blame him after yesterday, now that she had slept on the whole ordeal she realized how he must have felt. And being the person who he is he had nobody he wanted to talk with about his feeling. She was probably the only person he ever really opened up to.

She placed her good hand over his and drew circles over the back of his hand. she felt him stir but his soft snore continued. She smirked, this was the first good night sleep he had gotten in a while. She laid like this for a while not wanting to wake up kaz.

Suddenly she felt him stir again and his snoring stopped. she kept on drawing circles on the back of his hand letting him know she was awake. She didn't think it was possible but he got even closer to her, her back now against his chest, she felt the warmth from him through her shirt.

"don't move" he said. She tensed, thinking something was wrong as she hadn't moved before he said that. But then his hand moved. It went downwards until it was at the end of her shirt, then slowly he creeped his hand below her shirt, she tried to relax her muscles but her heart was pounding against her chest. She knew how big of a step this was for kaz.

very slowly, every centimeter that he got closer to touching her skin felt like forever, Cara dared not to move at all. When she finally felt his fingers graze the skin near her belly button she tensed for a moment but relaxed immediately after.

she felt him hold his breath when he moved finally worked up the courage to put his full hand on her skin. His hand was over her belly button. She dared not to move until she heard him let out a deep sign. He snuggled closer to her and she felt him put pressure on her belly to tighten his grip on her.

"are you okay kaz? I don't want you to stress yourself." Cara said quietly. All he did was hum in response. He would never admit it to anybody else than Cara but he was quite enjoying this. Cara felt warm not dead and cold. Kaz was proud of himself for once, he was genuinely enjoying touching somebody.

Cara slowly felt kaz relax, his muscles relaxing as his breathing became calm. But he was not yet done pushing his trauma. Slowly he moved his hand so the palm of his hand was over Cara's heart making it so not just his hand but his whole arm was touching her now.

Cara felt his breathing speed up slightly and his muscles in his arm tense up. Cara moved her good hand so that it was resting over her shirt on top of kaz's hand letting him know it was alright. They laid like this for a few minutes before kaz slowly spoke. "I love you." Cara smiled. "I love you to kaz."

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after another hour the couple had decided to get out of bed, as much as kaz would have loved to stay in bed he had placed to be, things to do. Cara also had a list of chores to do with number one being to remake the mixture that she spilled and restocking the slat with medicine. She couldn't believe how fast they burned through.

They walked down together, Cara greeted the dregs that were sitting at the slat while kaz just walked outside. She grinned at him. he was now kaz brekker, dirtyhands, the bastard of the barrel. She could see him change when it was not just the 2 of them but she didn't mind, the barrel was harsh and she would rather have it like this than him going soft and losing the dregs.

They walked together to the crow club, in front of the entrance Cara placed a light kiss on kaz's cheek. He gave her a slight smile before he went inside. Cara had other plans and went to the market to go get her supplies.

She bought a decent supply of herbs and oils and on her way back she passed the local bakery and bought some pastries as well. When she passed the crow club she went inside and straight to the office where she delivered the pastries earning her another smile and a thank you from kaz.

When she returned to the slat she was approached by a dreg, a man looking to be in his 40s. "sorry to bother you Cara but my son has fallen ill. Would you be able to take a look at him?" Cara nodded. "how ill is he? Can it wait until tomorrow? I need to make a new batch of medicine first."

The man nodded. "it can wait until tomorrow no problem. He has a pretty high fever, soar throat, belly ache and ... he had a red eye." Cara looked at the man and thought for a moment. "is he still drinking? Can he hold in any moisture? Any muscle pains?"

The man responded. "he is still drinking and keeping it in, no muscle pains as far as I know." Cara nodded. "good, he probably just has a bad case of the flu, the red eye is most likely from his fever. A blood vessel might have popped which is making his eye look red, its nothing to worry about." The man nodded and looked relieved. "tomorrow morning I will come look at your son, meet me here in the slat and I will follow you to your home, I will bring medicine for him as well to ease the fever." The man nodded and walked off.

it was common for children to become sick in the barrel, it wasn't the most hygienic part of the city. Cara walked upstairs and by the time she was done making a new batch of her medicine it was late in the afternoon. She was just about to go downstairs when the door to the room opened revealing kaz.

He held a plate of hot food for her. "oh hi, I propose a trade." When kaz lifted his eyebrow Cara placed the towel of ice that she had originally prepared for her hand on his face and took the plate of food from his gloved hand.

She went to sit back down at the table while kaz slightly shook his head and followed her. "so what is the report boss?" Cara asked him. Kaz looked at her with his one good eye while holding the ice against his bruised one. "first of all, I am not your boss anymore." Cara stopped eating and lifted her eyebrows tilting her head slightly.

"we are equal, since we are .. you know .. together" Cara smiled at him. this man could be so cute when he talked about his feeling and relationships. "and the report, wel the profit had gone up again. we have received our shipment of alcohol today and I expect another shipment of food tomorrow so we can also offer the pigeons food. This will make them stay longer and spend more money."

Cara nodded understanding. "I had one of the dregs ask me to take a look at his sick son tomorrow morning, I don't think it is anything worse than a fever but since he is a dreg I will bring some medicine for his boy." Kaz nodded but before he could say anything more a knock came on the door.

Kaz turned to the door and called "come in." Jesper opened the door to the room. "sorry to bother boss but ... there is a commotion downstairs you might want to check out." Kaz stood up at the same time as Cara did and they both walked towards the door.

Once they got downstairs they could hear loud talking and yelling. Once kaz hit the bottom stair he put his cane down on the wooden floor loudly and the conversations died down. "what is the problem here?"

all of the dregs started talking at once and when Cara took her place next to kaz she saw him roll his eyes. He held up a hand and the commotion stopped again. he then pointed at the nearest dreg "you, tell me what the problem is." The dreg stood up quickly when he spoke.

"boss, most of the children have fallen ill, they all have the same symptoms." Kaz interrupted him. "so what, the flu spreads like wildfire. Cara will provide you all with medicine to get he fever down and –" the dreg spoke up again interrupting kaz this time.

"boss its not just the flu. All of the children have the same symptoms meaning they all have a blood eye and some of them have started trembling with their finger, not their hands but just their fingers. The ones that have started the trembling are unresponsive to their parents."

Kaz looked at Cara who had gone pale. This was something she had never read about before and she had read most of not all the books in ketterdam about sicknesses and remedies. No this was something new, something that could be deadly.