The crow and the beast - Kaz brekker

chapter 32 - home

When Cara walked next to kaz towards the ship she noticed how bad his limp was. It was bad, probably one of the worst she has seen it which means he was in a lot of pain. They went straight for their cabin and once they arrived kaz let himself fall into the nearest chair available.

Cara immediately walked over to her bag that he had placed on the table and started taking out everything she needed and put it on the table. She then walked over to the door and locked it so she couldn't be disturbed.

Kaz was watching her carefully, he knew that there was no way he could say no to her now so he let her do whatever she wanted to do. Cara walked back over to him and kneeled in front of him looking up at him. "lets take a look at your leg first alright." Once he nodded Cara took a nearby chair and put it in front oh him, she took a seat on it and carefully took his leg placing it over her lap so she could easily access his thigh.

Stretching his leg hurt, she could see it on his face but he didn't complain. She carefully placed her hands on his thigh, she could feel that the leg was swollen. She slowly started massaging it while carefully watching his body language so she could pull away if he showed signs of stress.

She could see it hurt him but she would rather have it hurt then give him something against the pain now because she needed to know when the pain ebbed away. He was clutching his cane tightly but still did not complain. After a few minutes however she saw his gloved hands start to relax slightly as the fluid that build up in his leg was massaged away and the muscles relaxed.

he let out a sign of relief, Cara continued massaging the painful spot for a little while longer before she stopped and placed his leg back down. "are you okay with me looking at your chest?" Kaz grinned. "of course love, I cannot hide anything from you anyway."

He slowly removed his coat and shirt while Cara prepared all the salves and medicine she thought she would need. When she looked back at him she felt the tips of her ears turn red. It felt like a crime looking at the skin of kaz brekker.

she examined the bruise again, it was deep purple with a bright red spot in the middle where the bullet would have pierced. The bruise was big, the bullet would have hit him on his left side in his abdomen the bruise being as bit as her hand.

She took the container labeled 'bruises', it was basically a stronger version of the 'warmth' container. "do you want to apply it yourself? I understand if you don't want me to.." He shook his head no. "I don't mind you touching me love."

She took the medicine out of the container and warmed it in the palm of her hand before she carefully started applying it over the bruise, she could feel his muscles tense underneath his skin but she knew she had to do this properly so she didn't pull away.

once she was done she gave kaz another gulp of the pain killers and then put all the medicine back in her bag. As she did so she yawned, it was late in the night and she was exhausted. "we should probably get some sleep." Kaz said.

She agreed with him by nodding. She went to where she had stored some clothes and took out a night outfit and quickly changed into it, not really caring if kaz was in the room. She then moved into the bed pulling the covers until almost over her head as it was quite cold. She felt the bed dip as kaz joined her, he laid on his back because of his bruised chest.

he reached for her but before he touched her he pulled back again, making Cara confused. She didn't know where they stood with his trauma now, sometimes it was as if it didn't exist and then with moments like this ... she just did not know anymore. Only one way to find out of course.

"kaz?" she turned to face him but he was looking at the ceiling of the cabin. "hmm?" she took a moment to ask her question, second guessing if it was a good idea to ask it at all. "I know you don't like to talk about it and I know you are trying hard but I was wondering ... I wanted to know if ..." she let out a sign, not knowing how to ask the question without him taking it in a bad way.

"you want to know how far we are with touch right?" his voice was quiet and Cara was sure he had taken it the wrong way. "kaz I don't want to rush you or push you, I am so glad of the progress we already made, I don't want you to think I am not grateful its just ... confusing to me ... I don't know what is happening in your head when it comes to this topic."

his eyes never left the ceiling. "sometimes even I don't know... what I do know is that when you touch me I don't feel the waters around my feet rising anymore, I can be as close to you as I want without feeling the fear creep up on me. but sometimes when I go to touch you it's just ... I get scared that the waters might come ... so I pull back." He let out a sign.

"I have never felt this way about anybody before, its all knew to me and I want to – no need to become a better man for you because I know you deserve the world, I wish I could give it to you..." Cara knew talking about this was hard for kaz, he couldn't really formulate his feelings quite well but she understood what he meant.

She slowly reached out for his hand, he flinched slightly but did not pull back when she guided his hand to her chest, placing it above her heart. "can you feel it?" she whispered. He turned his head to her and they made eye contact, he didn't answer but pressed his hand slightly into her chest, the shirt she was wearing was quite thin but he did not mind, he did not feel scared of tense, he felt her strong heartbeat underneath his palm.

"I love you kaz, and for me you are the world. I don't need anything more, just you. I will follow you to the end of the world if you decided to ever go there. I can see how hard you try and how far we have already come. If I had never met you I think ... I think I wouldn't be on this earth anymore. You saved me in a way. What you went through is horrible and I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy, and I don't ask you to forget as I know it will always be a part of you but we can move past it I am sure. Together we can win this battle."

Cara saw his eyes tear up, there was so much he wanted to say but just couldn't. she reached up and kissed his cheek letting him know it was okay to not say anything right now. His eyes told her enough. He moved his hand and intertwined it with hers leaving their hands in between them as sleep overtook them both.

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The next morning Cara woke up from movement of the boat, they had started their journey back to ketterdam. She scrambled out of bed feeling her stomach already complaining. She made her way over to the table with her bag and quickly took the medicine against sea sickness and then laid down on the floor on her back.

she heard a chuckle coming from the bed and glared over at the person it had come from. "what are you doing?" kaz smirked at her. "oh don't start, I didn't know we were leaving so early in the morning, I am currently trying to not empty my stomach. His grin disappeared quickly. "are you okay?" Cara rolled her eyes. "in a few minutes I will be."

Kaz sat on the bed and did not move until Cara stood up slowly. "I will be okay now" she said. She moved over to the bag on the table before turning around to kaz who was standing behind her, she lifted his shirt without asking making him lift an eyebrow but she didn't care as she examined his bruise. It looked slightly smaller than it was yesterday. "sit" she commanded him.

when she took out the right medicine container she opened it and already warmed some of the salve in her palm before turning back to kaz, he had moved himself to sit in the same chair as yesterday evening and lifted his shirt so she could access the bruise.

She slowly applied the medicine, the bruise was indeed smaller and the color had changed quite a bit already meaning it was healing up quite nicely. "don't stress yourself to much okay, don't move around too much or I will lock you in our cabin understood?" Kaz smirked. Secretly loving the way she looked when she was serious.

"I mean it kaz, I will lock you in here if I have to." Kaz stood up and placed a gloved hand on her cheek. "then I will just have to pick the lock" he pressed a light kiss to her lips before walking off towards the door unlocking it quickly and walking outside leaving Cara in the cabin.

She shook her head but there was a smile playing on her lips. That man was really something else she thought as she made her way to the deck herself. They were already in the middle of the ocean when she made it to the deck.

she saw the other crows standing together as she joined them, they spoke of the spoils they gathered from the valley and how they were going to spend the money when they got back home to ketterdam. Cara smiled, they seemed to have stolen quite the amount if she was to believe them.

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a week passed before Cara saw the first smoke of ketterdam, she was so ready to get of this damn boat. She had run out of her seasickness medicine halfway through the trip because it worked less and less and she needed to take more of it before it actually worked.

she was eagerly waiting for the boat to dock and when it finally did she ran to land. The other crows watching her with a smile, they were of course also happy to be home. She was in front of the group when they walked back to the slat.

when they arrived back at the slat it was as if they never left. Kaz immediately went to his office to work while the other crows went their own ways. It was good to be home again.