And What If I Were You

Chapter 1 - Part 1

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What if you cried with my eyes

What if you lied with my words

Could we love enough to walk away

And what if I were you

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Friday, March 18, 2022

British Airways Flight 1389

Manchester to Heathrow

1.20pm. Somewhere over Northamptonshire...

Louis had always loved flying.

He'd loved the excitement of it all, from the bustle of the terminal to the smell of jet fuel, and even going through check-in and security; the game of potluck with the officers to see which test he'd be pulled aside for (because he always got pulled aside for something), usually explosives, which was just all kinds of bizarre, but hilarious at the same time.

He'd loved the brightly lit duty free area with the massive, completely impractical, and ridiculously expensive magnums of alcohol, giant blocks of Toblerone chocolate, and every perfume and cologne imaginable; the weird, Ikea-based layouts winding him in and out of the merchandise and always sure to result in his gaze being caught by something shiny that he may not have technically needed, but happily purchased anyway.

He'd loved the storeys high walls of windows, perfect for a healthy dose of plane spotting, watching the comings and goings of travellers heading to destinations around the globe and making up backstories for them all; escaping for a secret tryst with a lover, moving cities or countries for the job of a lifetime, reunions, adventures, and everything else in between.

And then there was the plane ride itself; the takeoff and landing that would send a thrill of excitement spiking in his veins and get his heart pumping just that little bit faster as he was pushed back or shoved forward in his seat, the shrunk-down and strangely branded packets of nuts and crackers and pretzels only found on flights, and the hum of the engines as they kept the giant metal bird in the air.

But his favourite part, his most favourite part above all else, had always been the view; looking down on the world from 35,000 feet, mountain ranges and meandering rivers, small towns and the seemingly never-ending expanses of ocean, snaking highways and dotted houses on the landscape, and patchwork fields and fluffy white clouds appearing like solid masses until the plane would fly straight through them. It would make Louis feel like a giant and utterly insignificant at the same time, defying gravity and the laws of nature, both fragile and empowered as he was propelled through the sky.

But that was before.

That was then and this is now, as the saying goes. That was the old Louis, the Louis that could navigate his environment with ease; unencumbered, unrestricted, and unafraid. The Louis from before everything changed.

Today, the airport had been nothing more than a minefield of startling sounds and chaos that made every muscle in his body tense and sweat prickle on his skin, panic coursing through him with each tentative step he'd taken. Even with his prearranged airport escort, the bright lights had still been overwhelming, whiting out what little vision he had, and his specially tinted glasses had done little to help.

He'd been able to feel people's eyes on him, even if couldn't see them; the raised hairs at the back of his neck, the whispered jibes, and agitated huffs at his special treatment juxtaposed with the all-too familiar pitying comments under their breaths when they saw his cane. He hates the damn thing, even though he knows it's a necessary evil in these types of circumstances.