And What If I Were You

Chapter 1 - Part 10

Saturday, February 5, 2022

ZeeBu Nightclub

Los Angeles

9.30pm. 'Heaven's Gate: Redemption' wrap party...

ZeeBu is pumping like always. Louis can clearly picture the decadent interiors from the numerous times they've been here before for various events; burgundy velvet wallpaper, golden chandeliers dripping with crystals, dark wooden tables, and black carpet flooring. The DJ box is situated up high behind glass and framed like a picture, playing track after track of indecipherable music that's more about the beat than the melody or lyrics, bodies writhing on the dancefloor, bar staff lighting sparklers and delivering absurdly expensive bottles of liquor to the groups of party-goers who are eagerly forking out the money as much for the experience of being seen here as they are for the alcohol.

Louis hates it.

He's never been much of a fan of this kind of decadence, even when he could actively enjoy it, and sitting at the table now listening to the conversations happening around him, unable to even properly participate or people-watch, it's pretty fucking miserable.

Regardless, he's had a smile fixed firmly in place since before he and Harry got out of the car. Tonight is important, Louis knows that, even if the relaxed dress code and club atmosphere belies that importance. Filming has finally wrapped on Heaven's Gate: Redemption, the third instalment of Harry's big-budget action trilogy, and the studio is happy, so tonight is the wrap party. Everyone is relieved, Louis included. Harry now has three whole months off before he starts working on his next movie, a period drama that will film in the UK and New Zealand, and then the promo tour for Redemption early next year.

They've been here for a couple of hours and Louis has been trying his best, but he just wants to go home and curl up on the couch with Harry and talk about anything and nothing. It's been a long while since they've done that. Too long, in fact. Harry has been so focused on work and Louis has been focused on trying to pretend that he still has a place in Harry's world, even though that gets harder and harder to convince himself of as each day passes.

They've been adrift, is the thing. Ships passing but not really connecting. Harry being so busy and Louis, well, not so much. After all, there's only so much of his time that can be taken up with physio, the support group at the community centre, and playing with their cat, Giselle.

Harry keeps urging him to get back to his art, and Louis gets that he's just trying to be supportive, but it makes Louis feel like Harry doesn't fully understand the situation, like he just wants things to go back to the way they were.

Louis wants the same thing, desperately so, but he seems to be the only one who realises that it's an impossibility. In his less patient moments, Louis thinks that it's the dumbest suggestion to have ever been uttered. Exactly how does Harry expect him to do that? Louis just placates him though, tells him that maybe, one day, he'll think about it. But he won't. His artistic days are well and truly behind him. How can he paint or sketch when he can't see the fucking canvas?

Louis had downed his first four vodka Red Bull's in quick succession and has now been nursing his fifth for the last half an hour. He needs to take a piss. He's been waiting for Harry to return after he was whisked away by someone important to meet someone even more important, assuring Louis he'd be back in five minutes but that was fifteen minutes ago.

He's been here enough times to know the general layout though, and he can just barely make out the light coming from the bar, which means the bathrooms are only about twenty feet away to his left and on the same side of the room, so he won't have to cross the dancefloor. He can totally do this. And maybe it's the vodka talking, but he's not about to ask anyone else at the table to help him.