MEMORIES~
Spring was almost around the corner. I could see trees resurrecting, the flowers already blossoming. Such a change of scenery was not in synchronize with the way I felt. Sometimes, you're stuck in the middle and you don't see anything ahead of you or anything behind you. It's just empty space, you're stuck in a void.
I felt like someone had left me there. Like a mother abandoning her child in the middle of nowhere.
I looked at the text message Darick had sent me. He wanted to meet me somewhere. We'd started to talk more often now, he was like a temporary shoulder to lean on. I knew he'd be temporary, like everyone else who'd crossed my path.
I regrettably got up to get ready, intentionally avoiding my reflection in the mirror. I'd been reduced to skin and bones. Mom had tried for a psychologist but I wasn't crazy. I knew it wasn't madness that drove me here.
Darick came awhile later to pick me up and led me to his car after meeting up with my mom. It was always the same conversation. 'She's depressed,' was all she could muster. Darick would only furrow his eyebrows in response, perhaps, his way of consoling a worried mother. I felt pitiful around them.
He led me to his car and swiftly opened the door for me, while bowing down with a smirk. 'After you me'lady,' I gave him a brief smile before getting in. A sharp stench of his cologne hit me. It felt inviting. He got in and gripped the steering wheel, his muscles clenching for abit, a brief deflection of tension and then he was back to his old self.
'What's wrong with you? Get over the fucking jock,' the comment came too suddenly, as expected. He was always so insensitive.
'It's none of your business,' my voice came out hoarse.
'None of my- what? I guess it's none of your mom's bee's wax too or anyone's yet why do I see pain in their eyes? Its because of you! Damn it Anna, why can't you let go?' His voice reverberated in the car and I instantly felt nauseous. Was it my fault? Why did I always have to be such a mess? A tear escaped my eye and I quickly wiped it away with my palm, turning away from him.
'You have no right to cry,' he punched his steering wheel angrily and I shrunk away from him.
'So it's me you blame? I didn't tell you guys to worry about me! I don't just tell mom to care about me. If she does it's not my fault!' I retorted, almost losing my breath. How dare he talk to me like that? Acting like he had a right over me.
'Jason didn't tell you to get so obsessed after him either yet here you are,' he smirked slightly. My face started to heat up, how dare he say that to my face?
'You f-' I was on the brink of screaming when he put a hand over my face. I bit into it and turned my door handle to get out of the car but with no luck. It was locked.
'Open it,' I demanded, my voice low and warning. He still had a stupid smirk on his face and I felt the urge to hit him.
'No,' He leaned back with the keys in his hands, looking at me with the same smug expression.
'Open the fucking door!' I almost screamed, lashing towards him and grabbing his hand, trying to snatch the keys.
'Woah..easy there,' Backing away from me, he slid his hand behind his back while I tried to retrieve it. By now I was on top of him, in a sitting position, trying to reach towards the keys behind his back. His face was two inches away from mine. I could feel his hot breath fanning on my face and the warmth that radiated from his body. His cologne that hit my nostrils. He looked in my eyes as I went behind his back. I looked towards his lips as his tongue licked his lower lip. My heart started racing in my chest, I could feel the tension growing. Retreating my hands from behind his back, I breathed in deeply, trying to control my racing heart. His hand traced my thigh and it went behind my head, his fingers trailing smoothly down my hair. He suddenly grabbed a fist full of my hair and pulled me closer. I felt the urge to stare at his lips but for some reason, could not stop staring at his eyes. My hands went behind his neck and I leaned closer, kissing him on the lips. He pulled on my hair, bringing me closer and deepening the kiss. Suddenly, Jason flashed infront of my eyes, topless, smiling at me as he leaned closer. My eyes shot open and i pushed back, quickly retrieving the keys from Jason and opening the door.
What happened meant nothing. We were in the moment, nothing else.
Then why was my heart still racing?
***
I stared blankly at the ceiling. Why was life so complicated? Yesterday, it was all about Jason and today, all I could see was Darick's eyes as they filled with lust, his tongue lingering on his bottom lip.
My phone beeped for probably the twentieth time today. Darick's name flashed on the screen. My hand slowly went towards the phone, my finger hovering over the accept option. Why was I ignoring him anyway? What did he do? I sighed and picked it up.
'Hey,' He spoke, sounding relieved for some reason.
'Hi,' I replied, fidgeting with my fingers.
'Why weren't you picking up my call?'
I bit my lower lip, hesitating before i spoke,'Look, what happened the morning-'
'Oh is that what it's about?' He chuckled slightly, 'You're such an idiot. You were ignoring me because we accidentally kissed?' My cheeks flushed. Accidentally? It wasn't an accident.. He was such an asshole, but wasn't that what I'd wanted him to think?
'I still love jason,' I spoke, but for some reason i felt like I wasn't saying those words. Someone else was.
'Yeah, so?' He snorted. I wanted to kick him so hard right now. Why was he so cocky? I hated him.
'What's your problem? Stop being a jerk for once,'
'What did I say?' I sighed, exasperated. Was he being serious?
'What do you mean by, yeah so?'
'I meant I don't care if you loved Jason or not. You could love whoever you want and I'd still love you,' My mouth opened in shock and my heart started reacting the same way it'd reacted while I kissed him.
'Excuse me,?' Was this guy real?
'So don't come telling me again and again your heart belongs to someone else because, damn it, it hurts me, it's like a knife to the heart but I'll take it.' His voice shook and his voice became lower. I could sense the hurt in his voice, 'I'll take it as long as you don't speak about it,' I hadn't even noticed I'd held my breath.
'The kiss was an accident, it was an accident because your heart was somewhere else and I had no right to take advantage of the situation like that,' He stopped for awhile, before speaking again, 'Because I'm an asshole. I've always been one. You probably hate me. You should..because god, noone could be as bad as I was to you...I don't even know how to love properly.' His voice became hoarse, and I had to strain my ears to listen, 'But god, I really really want you..I've never wanted anything so badly. Ever.' I could hear his every word dipped in deep emotions. Emotions that seemed so evident as he poured his heart out to me. Something hot dropped on my hand and I looked towards it only to realize I'd been crying.
'Jason wasn't sick Jenna...' He hesitated before saying,
'He used you.'
-
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Abduction [EDITING]
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