"𝑀𝑦 ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑝𝑠 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑒,
𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑟,
𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑎𝑠 𝐼 𝑏𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝐼 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑧𝑒𝑑,
𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑚𝑦 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒"
❛ 𝑺𝒆𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒊𝒏
❛ 𝒕𝒘𝒔: 𝒚𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒎𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒑 𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕
❛ 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔: 721
***
"I don't want you here!"
No- what?
"W-what?"
"You heard me. Get out."
"B-but-"
"Fine then" Jeongin says, turns his back and walks out. He leaves and doesn't look back.
Yes, Jeongin left. For real this time. He left Seungmin. The one who wanted Seungmin gone is gone himself now. And Seungmin who was ought to leave, is the one left now. It isn't right.
I don't want you here!
I don't want you-
I don't-
What the fuck?
This must be a sick joke. A sick prank. Jeongin wasn't in his right mind. He couldn't be.
But the dark eyes of him, the shaky fists and the angry aura. It all looked so authentic, so real. Like Jeongin meant every word. And it tasted poisonous, making Seungmin nauseous.
It can't be.
Have all the those times they've been together been something Jeongin didn't want to do or enjoy doing? Have all those sweet but awfully cringe words or the suffocating but nice feeling affection been all fake? Pretended?
Seungmin's a fool. The biggest fool in the history. Shameful, pathetic.
He lets out an airy laugh but it doesn't help the tight pressure squeezing his chest, his heart. It's bleeding. Oh, how he wishes he'd be gone too.
Jeongin doesn't want him here. Jeongin doesn't need him here. Nor anywhere. Ever. Jeongin's better off without Seungmin.
And Seungmin sees that just now.
Fine, he'll stay away. Even if the thought hurts even more.
Before loving Jeongin, he'd had to hide and it was painful. And when he finally got to love Jeongin without hiding, without fears, it'd been as painful but he loved that kind of pain. And now, after opening his blind eyes which love dazzled, he's back in pain. In piercing pain that doesn't leave him alone. That makes him yearn and long for something that feels like impossible.
Yeah, no shit. Jeongin left, but the pain didn't.
And Jeongin left for real. Left the room, the apartment. Jeongin has never done something like this. Jeongin has never left Seungmin like this.
They never even fight and if they do they always make up. They're both way too considerate and fond of one another, even though they don't show it much. And words can hurt but they can also heal. But now? Jeongin snapped and it has never happened before.
It feels unreal.
What the fuck?
And this is Jeongin's apartment after all. And all Seungmin can do is stand in the middle of the living room, looking like a dumb fool.
And suddenly Seungmin doesn't feel calm in the slightest. He feels betrayed, humiliated.
He feels wrong.
And the anger boils in his veins. He throws the coffee table over, the empty tea mugs and piles of papers falling, flying everywhere. Then, he throws the pillows and cushions out of the couch.
He throws the books out of the bookshelf but he stops as he's facing the pictures on the wall. All the pictures of Seungmin and Jeongin and their friends. There's a tiny silent tear rolling down Seungmin's cheeks. He can't bring himself to ruin those pictures. It feels too heavy, too weighty, too much.
He turns the livingroom upside down, with as raw physical force as he possibly can. Soon, he's out of breath with sore muscles. A tired body and a tired mind.
I don't want you here!
Well, me neither!
It's not true. But Seungmin tosses that fact out of the open window. He assures himself that it's the truth, no matter how painful it is. How contrived and forced it sounds.
Seungmin heads towards the door, kicking the fallen books and other items out of his way. He catches his own eyes through a mirror of the wall of the hallway and he smashes it right onto the ground. It shatters into millions of pieces. Nothing different to Seungmin's heart and mind and whole being right now.
With one last look of the apartment that felt like home to him, he's out of the door and slamming it shut.
I'll leave. I'll leave like you want. And I'll never come back.
