"𝐿𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑎 𝑝𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒𝑙𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑑𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑠ℎ𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔,
𝑐𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔,
𝑏𝑦 𝑎𝑐𝑐𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝐼 𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑚𝑦 𝑓𝑎𝑖𝑡ℎ"
❛ 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒏 (𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒃𝒊𝒏 𝒊𝒔 𝒂 𝒎𝒂𝒋𝒐𝒓 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒐𝒐)
❛ 𝒕𝒘𝒔: 𝒎𝒆𝒅𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒒𝒖𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎
❛ 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔: 383
***
"Have the meds helped?"
"I don't know"
There's a pause. Changbin raises an eyebrow.
"You don't know? Hyung, it's been two months already"
"I haven't taken them"
"Hyung..." Changbin sighs. He's disappointed but not mad. Chan knows he doesn't to show it, but the way Changbin closes his eyes to think makes his nerves go crazy.
He suddenly feels nauseous.
This is something serious.
"Hyung..." Changbin starts again. "Why?" he asks and turns to look at his older friend.
Chan turns away, not daring to look at the other.
"I don't know..."
"You don't know?"
He stays silent. It's easier that way, however, he doesn't feel any lighter.
On the contrary; he feels like he's sinking to the bottom with his heavy heart.
He wouldn't even try and reach the surface anymore.
"You know the meds were described for you for a reason, right?"
A sheepish nod.
"And that you are supposed to take them regularly for your own sake... right?"
Another quick nod.
"Chan hyung"
A pause.
"Hyung!"
He winces and glances at the other quickly. He feels ridiculed, exposed.
He feels pathetic, stupid.
"What is the reason for the meds? Tell me, I want to hear it from you"
Right. Changbin says he means well. Chan says he feels like the other is rubbing his mistakes on his face on purpose though.
They are all decisions. Every day decisions.
Chan is so stupid for those decisions.
He is older than Changbin, hell, even older than Jisung, and yet they're always the ones parenting him and looking after him.
It's all because of decisions.
"They make me feel better" he murmurs because there's nothing else he's able to say.
Let it be that way.
Changbin nods beside him.
"Yeah... And you don't want to feel better? You don't want to be okay ever again, huh?"
"What is that suppose to mean?"
"You know what I mean, hyung"
He should have hidden the packets better. He should have thought, for fuck's sake! Why is he so scatterbrained?
Changbin and Jisung aren't going to let him out of their sights now.
Well decided, Chan.
