"𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑒𝑙𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑜𝑤𝑛,
𝑛𝑜𝑏𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝐼 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤,
𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑠𝑢𝑐𝑐𝑒𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒'"
❛ 𝑯𝒚𝒖𝒏𝒎𝒊𝒏
❛ 𝒏𝒐 𝒕𝒘𝒔 :𝑫
❛ 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔: 914
***
"Let's make wishes! Come on, Seung!" the taller cheers excitedly and pulls me with him, making me almost stumble and lose my balance.
"Slow down, I'll fall" I exclaim but there's no true annoyance behind it- only pure amusement.
Hyunjin has always been the clumsy one and sometimes takes me with him when he trips and falls. Nothing major has ever happened and no boyfriends have been harmed- we just laugh it away.
It's our way of doing things.
However, what is interesting is that our friends keep claiming that I'm the "adult" one: tranquil, cool, cautious, all that.
If one can even use the word "adult" since not all people of full age are responsible or respectful or polite or whatever. I can confidently describe myself as serene, kind and respectful though, there's no problem in trying to be a good person.
Unfortunately our friends don't know what I can turn into when I let myself go. With Hyunjin, it's easy. I can be myself, truly and freely. Hyunjin doesn't care and neither do I. It's been a long and hard way of getting used to just letting go.
And honestly, we can be quite a trouble and make quite a chaos.
I follow behind Hyunjin as he takes us to the park. We part out way from the stony path and walk on the grass which isn't long but rather damp. I can feel the sharp grass poking my uncovered ankles and soaking my socks a little. I can't find myself caring though it tickles and feels cold.
It's late summer and it has been raining for weeks. Today though the sun- after long and rather cool days- showed up and has been shining through the dark thick clouds all day. Hyunjin and I got new energy to finally get ourselves outside and be productive.
We decided to go for a walk to the park. Our favorite place.
It's kind of our thing.
"This is perfect" Hyunjin says and claps his hands together excitedly making him look like a cute, eager child.
Not far from the truth.
Hyunjin sits down onto the grass and takes me down with him, tucks me under his arm, to his side. I can feel the grass soaking my pants but that's fine, it's nothing we can't fix.
It's nice to just sit in silence and peace with one another. The sun seems to be on our side today as it peeks from behind the clouds again, making its rays look sparkly and golden.
Suddenly I feel warm and can't tell wether it's the sun or Hyunjin next to me. I wouldn't mind either.
"Let's make wishes" Hyunjin says and tucks one dandelion up and brings it to his lips. He blows and I watch as the seeds float in the air. Hyunjin smiles and looks at me.
Right, dandelions. They are also kind of our thing. Wether it's in the early summer when we admire the yellow ones or like this- when the flowers have turned into white tufts of hair until they wither.
I shake my head fondly. I pick up a dandelion and think for a moment.
What do I wish? Honestly, I wish for so many- too many things.
I wish for always being happy and healthy, or at least as much as my life with its challenges and struggles allows.
I wish for always getting through hardships and learn from mistakes.
I wish for always being there for Hyunjin, friends and family.
I wish for always being brave to be myself and express myself freely, without thinking what others might think. And I wish for being motivated to always improve myself and embrace the flaws of course.
I wish for being able to love Hyunjin for as long as possible, without anything getting between our hearts. For as long as Hyunjin lets me, of course.
I don't wish for great wealth, money or endless good luck. I don't wish for immortality, a heart and a mind of steel or being perfect and having a perfect life.
That isn't interesting, it'd just make me go nuts.
I wish for being as good as a human being as I can, within my own boundaries, not crossing the line.
That sounds good.
I wish for many things.
But right now as I hear Hyunjin's giggles next to me and look at him smiling and looking like he's living the best time ot his life right now, I think I know what I want to wish for.
Something I myself would do anything to make it granted.
No, I don't think, I know.
I wish for Hyunjin to always be happy, whatever he does or decides, wherever he is, whoever he loves. Even when I'm not there.
I don't care, I just want him to smile that authentic, natural, beautiful smile of his. I don't want him to pretend or hide. I don't want him to be unhappy, in pain or feel invalid, unloved.
Of course, I'd like to keep him by my side for as long as possible. I might never be able to live without him next to me. I'd become mad.
I blow the little seeds into the air and close my eyes. The sun is warming my cheeks and I feel content, happy.
I grasp Hyunjin's big, bony hand in mine and squeeze gently.
