venture • lrh

twenty-two

MIXED FEELINGS

*

Ashton has been in the hospital for several days now. Alexis hasn't left his side once. She hasn't even taken care of herself. Except for the gum that's in her bag, she hasn't been very hygienic. Ashton has woken up, but he is still very lousy. The doctors don't seem to be very worried about it. They said that after such a surgery, it's normal for the body to take its rest.

Yet, she only holds his hand and watches him while she cries. Luke hasn't told anyone on the team that he's in the hospital, but he knows he has to sooner or later. He's also been trying to visit Ashton, but he's exhausted. He's been so busy lately, and he can't comprehend sitting by his side. Shedding a tear by his side would cost him even more energy.

But Alexis feels blameworthy. She feels like she is the reason he's been here. Ashton hasn't shown any progression; all she can think of are negative things. The questions such as 'what if' pop up way too often. She can't help but cry, and she remembers feeling this weak. She doesn't like the comparison.

She holds his hand tightly, kissing it now and then. Simply praying to a god she doesn't believe in. Every morning she's praying he'll wake up, open his eyes and talk.

"C'mon, Ash," she whispers softly. He squeezes her hand and opens his eyes ever so slowly. He smiles as he sees the fragile girl. "Hi," she whispers.

"Hey," his voice is hoarse from just waking up. "Have you been crying again?" He chuckles. "You know you shouldn't; I'm okay." He grabs the remote control for the bed and places the upper part higher.

"It's my fault you're here." She says. God, Ashton has been hearing this ever since he got here. He can't exactly argue it, but she's wrong; she won't believe him.

"Alex, you really need to get your ass out of here," he says. "You have ditched Luke six times already; he wouldn't appreciate a seventh." She rolls his eyes. "It's a wonder he hasn't gone mad already."

"I just want to be with you," she says.

"Alex, he's my best friend and not by my side the entire time. Come on, go take a shower and live your life. I'll be fine," she breathes in deeply and kisses his hand again. The room door is wide open, and neither one of them cares. Ashton and Alexis don't know that Luke is standing right outside, leaning on the doorframe, eavesdropping on the entire conversation.

What Ashton does know is that he texted Luke earlier this morning, when he had woken up for the third time, to come to pick up Alexis. Ashton is the one in the hospital, and he deserves some pity; Alexis doesn't.

"C'mon, Ash, I love you," Luke watches the two roommates, and he feels a tear in his heart. He came to pick her up, not to break his own soul. She never said those words to him, and of course, that would be soon. But he wants her to say it to him and nobody else. There's a look in their eyes, and Luke starts to feel uncomfortable.

It's how they glance at each other, almost like lovers. They must need each other. They live together, trust each other, and are always together.

Alexis had bailed on their dates all week, and he didn't realize she was here the entire time. He thought she might have been busy, but he knew after the text he received from Ashton.

"Alex, you need to take a shower," Ashton says. "Honestly, I am okay." Tears form in her eyes again. If he were okay, he wouldn't be in a fucking hospital.

"But it is because of me," she sobs. Luke can't be here any longer. He needs to leave. He can't see his girl like this, not with Ashton. Not with the way they looked at each other. He saw so much tension yet potential. They could be made for each other, and that makes him leave.