Flowers in the Darkest Parts: Bucky Barnes X OC

Inconsolable

It's warm. Quiet. My mind is slow and foggy. Am I dead? Is this what death feels like?

I can feel myself lying down. It's soft. There's softness all around me. My body is heavy. Every limb feels like it's lead, heavy and completely drained from exhaustion.

It's warm. It's quiet. I could stay like this forever.

Red flag. You have to get up.

My eyes snap open, remembering the last scene that I watched unfold before me. The HYDRA agent. The far wall collapsing. The smoke and gunfire. Someone lifting me from the floor as I clung to them. And so much pain.

I blink away the fog. The room is dim. A low yellow light glows, creating a calming effect as it projects across the room. I dare not move until I calculate exactly where I am and the consequences of moving even an inch. The room is bare. Nothing on the grey metal walls except for a single door opposite of me and what looks like a small camera in one corner of the room.

I'm lying in a bed, the covers pulled up to my chest. My arms are tucked down by my sides underneath the sheets. I feel for my knife that I usually carry in my pant leg pocket only to be met with the warm skin of my leg. My uniform is gone. I look down at my chest to see the light blue fabric of a hospital gown. I notice the cleanliness then. My skin feels clean, the faint scent of fragrance lingers. Soap. Someone cleaned me. Everything is sickeningly sterile, the sheets, the walls, the floor. Nothing like I'm used to.

Where am I?

I attempt to sit forward only to be jerked back in place. I can feel the straps now, holding me down. There are stickers on my chest with wires running from them to a monitor on the wall that I can see if I crane my neck just right. A simple metal chair sits to the right of me and on my left, a grey side table.

My mind is still foggy, and my muscles are so sore. I think back to the last thing I remember. I quickly dismiss the thought when the HYDRA agent's face pops up in it.

What happened after that? It all happened so fast. I close my eyes and try remembering any details that I can. I'm used to trying to piece things together. Sometimes it's easy, but sometimes no matter how hard I try I just can't remember. They scramble my mind so much that even my own name will escape me at times. It's an exhausting task and giving up is sometimes just easier.

A sudden noise of the door unlocking makes me open my eyes again. Panic starts to rise as I anticipate who I will see coming through the door. All my training makes me good at concealing my emotions. "Never give yourself away to the enemy," I was told. "Never let them know they get to you. Emotions equal weakness."

On the inside, my mind races, my heart beats out my chest. On the outside I am blank. Emotionless.

The door across the room opens slowly and a head peeks around the doorframe. A young man with short, light brown hair looks in. He is neat, cleanly shaven and has serious, but kind eyes. We make eye contact and he speaks, "Hi." He smiles softly, "I see you're finally awake." 

I stare with wide eyes, but quickly recover, snapping back to a relaxed, emotionless gaze. A rush of cold runs through me. It can't be him.

He steps all the way through the door and begins walking toward me, going slow like I'm a cornered animal he doesn't want to scare. My mind is a mess, the only thing I hear is my heart pounding as I try to make sense of what is going on. This is impossible. It can't be him.

Another man steps in right behind him. He has short, dark hair. His five o'clock shadow is starting to show on his tensed jaw. His eyes are intense and look like they haven't seen sleep in days. Almost wild looking. I make eye contact with him and his eyes seem to soften. I see him breathe out like he's relieved.

They both cautiously walk over to me. The dark haired man, he seems familiar, but I can't figure out why. I reach for memories, of faces that I should remember, but it all ends up blurring together. As they get closer, I can't take my eyes off the light haired man. I watch in pure confusion as they approach me to stand at my bedside.

I keep still. My arms start to shake and I try so hard to keep them in place. My heart is thundering so loud that I think they might hear it too. What is happening?

It's like seeing a ghost. He's supposed to be dead.

I try my hardest to push away the tears forming. I need to continue to keep the emotion out of my face. I focus on my breathing, trying to control at least one thing that I can. I don't dare show them the tornado I feel ripping straight through me.

"Steve..?" I'm in complete shock, my voice just above a whisper.

He smiles softly at me, his eyes glossy.

"Yeah sis, it's me."