The Strength of a High and Noble Hill (An Outlander Story)

Chapter 12: Coping with Change

"Mama?" Brian calls as he enters the kitchen in their house in Boston.

His mother doesn't reply. Brian wonders if she even heard him. His Mama has been quiet and despondent since their return to the States. They all have in a way; their whole world has shifted. Mama with finally telling the truth about Jamie and the hope of finding him only for it to be snatched away. Brian and Ellen on the other hand are coping with the fact that who they thought they were has now changed.

Brian, however, is coping better with the revelations than Ellen. It's like he always knew that something was going on, something else was calling to him and now it all makes sense, he makes sense. But not everything is smooth sailing. Now that he knows the truth of his and his mother's past, he feels even more out of step with his colleagues than before. Despite this, Brian's life hasn't completely changed from how it was before.

Ellen, however, feels her whole world has been turned upside down and not for the better. Brian can see she is finding it difficult to resume her life at Harvard. It is only through accident that he found out about her failing all her classes and is in danger of flunking out of school. What concerns Brian is that Ellen seems unperturbed by the prospect.

"Mama?"

This time she looks up. "Hmm?"

Brian sympathetically looks at her. "I can make dinner tonight."

Mama shakes her head. "No, no, it's fine."

"Mama, you're tired from work." Neither of them mentions that it probably isn't work that's making her 'tired'. "Please I don't mind."

Mama sighs and relents, putting down the potato and peeler that she'd been holding but it's clear she has been too lost in her thoughts as the potato remains unpeeled. Brian doesn't say anything about it and gets on with the peeling while his mother stays, watching.

"You shouldn't feel like you need to look after me." Mama suddenly says. "You should be in your own home, living your life."

"Mama..." Brian gives her a disapproving look that's too soft to be harsh. "There's nowhere I'd rather be than with you and Ellen."

"I just feel like I'm holding you back."

"You're not, I promise." Brian says, putting down the potatoes. "You and Ellen are the most important to me, why would I leave you?"

Mama smiles softly and strokes his cheek. Not for the first time, Brian wonders how difficult it must be for his mother to look upon her children and so often be reminded of her lost love.

——

Summer 1968

"Roger?"

"Brian." Roger greets happily. It seems that they are both in unanimous agreement to ignore the argument going on in the house behind Brian.

Things haven't improved for the better. Mama and Ellen are in constant arguments ever since Ellen announced her plans to leave Harvard and move out of the house.

Brian winces when Ellen screams, "You're not listening!"

He awkwardly clears his throat. "So, er, what are you doing in town?"

"I should've sent word." Roger replies uncontrollably, his eyes flickering to look inside the house before quickly looking back at Brian. "Clearly, I've come at a bad time."

"No, not at all. Mama and Ellen are just..."

"Yellin'." Roger finishes with a slight smile.

Brian gives him a slight chuckle. "Uh, Ellen has... decided to withdraw from Harvard and is moving out. Mama isn't exactly taking it well."

"Tha' one word fer it."

Brian realises his mother's and sister's voices are coming closer. Brian looks back to see Ellen storming into the entrance hall with Mama behind her.

"Let me call Dean Tramble. I'm sure he can have you reinstated." Mama pleads.

Ellen strides towards the door, looking over her shoulder at her mother and has clearly not noticed Roger and Brian. "No! You're not listening! I need a break. You expect me to just come back to Boston and be who I was? I tried, and it's not— Roger." Ellen stops her in tracks, staring at the man with wide eyes.

A smile spreads over Roger's face. Brian almost feels like he's third wheeling again like he had when the three of them would go on their trips around Scotland. Brian wouldn't be surprised that one of the reasons or the main reason Roger is here is to see Ellen.

"Hello." Roger murmurs, somewhat dazed.

"I, uh, Roger. How lovely to see you." Mama says tensely. Probably because she's embarrassed about her argument with Ellen being overheard.

Mama's voice snaps Ellen out of her shock. She flashes an angry look over her shoulder at her then turns to Roger. "I have to go. I'm sorry, Roger. It's good to see you. Let's hang out tomorrow, okay? Bye Brian." She strides off leaving Brian, Mama and Roger awkwardly standing by the door.

"Uh, why don't you come in?" Brian says hurriedly, widening the door to let his friend in. Roger nods his thanks and steps inside.

Mama snaps back into action. "I'm so sorry, Roger. Let me take your coat." She starts assisting him out of it, hanging it up.

"Thank ye, but perhaps 'tis best I check inte my hotel. I-I dinna want t'..."

"Nonsense. No, you'll... you'll stay here."

Brian grins at Roger, thankful for his arrival if only for it to hopefully put Ellen and Mama on their best behaviour. "Mama's orders. I'll have to leave the two of you to it, I've got to get to work." He'd been leaving for work when he opened the door and had found Roger standing there.

"Bye darling." Mama says, kissing on the cheek. Brian gives Roger a nod and he's out the door.

——

"And how is Brian copin'?" Roger asks once they are alone.

Claire sighs as she looks over at him. "I believe he's doing fine but that's the problem with Brian. He always wants to make me and Ellen feel better, look after us so much that he seems to struggle to show us when he's upset."

"Ye worry fer 'im." Roger realises.

"I just wish he'd talk to me and not bottle it up."

——

A/N: Please leave comments on how you're enjoying this story and what you think.