The Strength of a High and Noble Hill (An Outlander Story)

Chapter 22: Dreams

August 1744

Blurry figures stand over him, yelling but it all sounds foggy. It takes him a while but he realises they are asking if he's okay, yelling for the ambulance. An ambulance? But wasn't that– wasn't that before?

There's this strange beeping noise, flashing lights and loud piercing noises. All sounds that sound familiar but he can't remember where he'd heard them before. 

Pain. He's in pain. Why's he in so much pain?

Suddenly a figure is next to him, holding his hand. He realises they're talking too.

"–Jeremy! Jeremy, don't leave me please!"

He doesn't reply. He panics. What's he doing here? Why's he here? Who's Jeremy? No– Jeremy was– Oh God. How could he have forgotten?

He startles awake amidst his panic. He can't remember the dream, only that it upsets him. So, he does the only thing he knows to do, he cries.

Brian hates the noise he makes, a high-pitched, intense wail, followed by very loud crying, but he has to get used to it, he's here now. He's not—

Da is leaning over him and holding him. "Ssh, dinna fash yerself, yer Da's here."

Brian whimpers. Da brings him up so he is pillowed on his bare chest. Brian sighs, taking comfort in his hold and his warm skin.

"There, there. I ken, I ken weel, mo leanbh."

——

February 1949

Brian can't sleep. He lies on his side, staring at the wall as he listens to the sounds of his baby sister crying. He can't sleep, his mind filled with bad dreams.

"Brian?" Light from the hallway spills into the room as Mama pushes the door open and slips through quietly."Are you hungry? Would you like to come down to the kitchen?"

Brian doesn't say anything for a moment before shaking his head.

Mama sighs, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Would you like to hear the story again?" She asks.

This gets Brian's attention. He bolts up and eagerly nods. Mama grins. "Well, the Highlander Laird was..."

Mama begins to tell the tale of the Highlander Laird who sacrificed himself for the ones he loved just as she has done many times.

Brian used to know it was the truth, he remembered his father but over time, memories begin to fade, and he begins to believe that the story his mother tells him is a fairytale. A secret fairytale that is never meant to be mentioned around his Dad.

Claire smiles when she sees that Brian's eyes have fallen closed. She doesn't want to return to Frank so instead she settles into the armchair by his bed at an angle that allows her to see from the hallway light alone and begins to read. Finding comfort in Brian's presence.

——

November 1769

Ellen is being attacked by a shadowy figure.

"No, no! Please!" She sobs. "Brian, help!"

The shadowy figure pins her to the ground and then—

Brian is startled awake. He sees the sun is barely reaching over the horizon and realises it's still early but he finds himself unable to back to sleep. He gets up and sits on the steps of the cabin to watch the sunrise. He hears a sniffle and Ian's half-wolf canine companion, Rollo, whines and curls up at his feet. Brian smiles softly scratching the back of the canine's ears.

He hears the door open behind him and then his Mama's voice. "You're awake early."

Brian glances over his shoulder and tries to give his mother a greeting smile but he knows it doesn't work, he's still shaken from his dream and there are probably shadows under his eyes. "I couldn't sleep."

He looks away and hears Mama walk over to him, she walks down the steps so she's standing in front of him. "Another bad dream?" Brian looks at her in surprise. "Ian told me. He hears you crying in the night sometimes.Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. Honest."

"Is it about Ellen?" Brian tenses. Mama sighs and sits down next to him. "S-she told me, yesterday, that um... there was... this man at the Willow Tree Tavern. They started talking, and... and..."

Brian presses his eyes together, trying to stop the tears welling up in his eyes. "Yeah. The dreams, they're– they hadn't been so bad initially, after I found her but know– I'm sure she's told you..."

"That she's pregnant, yes."

"Does Da know?"

He notices her eyes light up slightly when he calls Jamie Da before it dims to better fit the conversation. "Your Da knows, about the rape, and the pregnancy."

"Not about Roger?"

Mama looks surprised. "You know about that?"

"It's not hard to workout." God, he hopes the child is Roger's.

Mama nods, turning her attention to the sunrise. "Well, no matter how liberal your Da is, I don't think he'd be able to swallow the idea of pre-marital sex."

Brian lets out a watery chuckle at that. There's a moment of silence. "I don't know what to do. How do I help her?" He looks at her desperately.

"You already helping her. Just being here for her is what we can do." Mama wraps her arm around him, stroking his arm. "You're a good brother."

Brian scoffs, shaking his head. "I should've been better; I should've protected her better."

"No, no. You didn't know."

He knows she means well but he knows, he knows he let his little sister down.

——

A/N: mo leanbh = my child (to a baby)

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