The Strength of a High and Noble Hill (An Outlander Story)

Chapter 15: Loss

Brian and Ellen both have to deal with the loss of their mother. Get used to the fact that she's not nearby anymore but centuries in the past.

Brian throws himself headfirst into his work. He works longer hours to keep his mind off things. He doesn't want to be in the house on his own, thinking about Mama, about the real truth of his past.

He's even tried going on dates with some of the girls from work, but it doesn't work, doesn't feel right.

Ellen returns to university but this time she changes her major to mechanical engineering. She completes her degree at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in the spring of 1971. Brian is there in the audience, clapping away and trying to be enough for Ellen as he notices that little dip in her smile as she walks onto the stage, accepts her diploma and looks out to the audience. Brian knows she wishes Mama and Dad were here, but they catch eyes, and her smile widens. They're going to be alright.

——

July 1969

Brian watches with a smile as Ellen gets spun around by Roger, who's in his Highland dress, to the beat of Celtic music. Roger had returned to the States again to visit Brian and Ellen and had taken them to a Celtic festival. Roger had shown off his singing skills on stage by singing a song about the Battle of Prestonpans. Brian had felt a shiver up his spine as he listened. It was a battle that his parents were both at, Jamie leading the charge. What had been going through their heads?

Brian has been enjoying the Scottish pride he's surrounded by. The music filling him with familial ease.

Ellen and Roger's relationship has been interesting. Brian knows Ellen had kept her distance as she and Brian try to rebuild their lives after losing Mama as well as Ellen trying to complete school. Brian had encouraged her as while he likes Roger, he knows that Ellen can't just throw herself into a relationship just because he happens to know the truth. Brian just wants his sister to work out if this is what she really wants.

As he watches the two, Brian wonders if she has made that decision. He thumbs the envelope in his pocket. Roger had found photographs of Dad and Mama when they were young and happy, including photos of their wedding. It's strange to look at those photographs, thinking of the journey this couple will embark on, and how they end up.

"Brian!" Brian startled out of his thoughts to see Ellen beckoning him over with her hand and Roger smiling encouragingly.

"Oh, no I—" Brian tries to dissuade.

"Oh, come on!" And with that, Brian gets pulled onto the dance floor by his sister.

Roger grins at him. Brian beams back and lets himself get pulled into the music.

——

"Houston, Tranquility base here. The Eagle has landed."

They erupt into cheers. Among the cheers, Ellen turns and kisses Roger. It's the next day after the festival and Brian, Roger and Ellen have gathered at Joe's to watch the moon landing.

Joe's kids, Lenny and Ellena, pull Brian into their group hug while Gail grins and pulls Joe into a kiss.

"That's one small step for man. One giant leap for mankind." Comes Neil Armstrong's voice through the speaker as the grainy images of him and Buzz Aldridge stepping out onto the moon's surface are displayed on the screen.

Brian looks out of the window, up into the sky. Yes, they'd made it to the moon, but he's travelled further than that.

Brian feels this pull inside him, a desire to discover and explore, to travel.

"Neil, this is Houston. We're copying."

——

December 1969

They spend the Christmas holidays in Scotland with Roger and Fiona and her fiancé Ernie Buchan. Their home in Boston feels too small with just the two of them and it doesn't feel right to do all their old Christmas traditions without Mama.

Being in a different place for their first Christmas without her makes things easier but it doesn't hurt any less.

Brian and Ellen have already put up the house for sale. If either can move on, if it's possible, then they need to be somewhere else. Somewhere where they're not surrounded by old memories.

——

1971

Brian stares at the words in front of him in bold, faded ink.

"It is with grief that the news is received of the deaths by fire of James MacKenzie Fraser and his wife, Claire Fraser, in a conflagration that destroyed their house in the settlement of Fraser's Ridge, on the night of January 21 last."

He and Ellen look up and share a look.

They'd gotten around to clearing out Dad's office, all the documents in there. It's been closed off since the initial sort through after his death. The house has been sold and they need to clear out.

Brian looks back at the date. January 21st, 1776. He doesn't know why it shocks him. His mother is in the past – two hundred years in the past – of course, she's dead by now but to see it confirmed hurts, especially as it's only ten years after the year at which she would've arrived in.

"I..." Ellen's voice trails off as she tries to find the right words. "I- I've seen this before."

Brian looks at her sharply. "What do you mean?"

A tear falls down Ellen's cheek. Brian reaches over to grip her hand; she smiles softly at him.

"It was years ago. I'd forgotten till now." Ellen explains. "I'd sneaked into Daddy's office when he was out and had found it on his desk, I just thought it was part of one of his research projects."

Brian sighs, squeezing her hand. "He knew. Dad knew that Mama would go back to Jamie." There's a brief silence as they stare at the document in front of them, both lost in their own heads. "What do we do?"

"We need to warn them." Ellen says resolutely.

Brian looks at her shocked. "Ellen... they're both two hundred years in the past, how can we?"

"We travel back too, obviously."

"Ellen, I, we can't just pop to the past and pop back again." Brian argues. He knows his sister wants to protect their mother and her husband, their father, Brian understands that, but it's too big of a risk.

"You don't have to. I'll go, warn them and then come back." Ellen declares, not listening.

Brian grips her shoulders. "I can't let you do this on your own. I won't."

"You either come with me or I'm going on my own." Ellen retorts. "I have to go Brian, I have to."

"I know, I know." Brian sighs, he can't believe he's doing this. "So, what do we need?"

The beaming smile he receives makes him feel that this'll all be worth it.

——

A/N: Please leave comments on how you're enjoying this story and what you think.