Alone

A

(Guys it's been a while but I completely changed my writing style but I hope you enjoy)

As Vernon and I strolled out together, my attention was drawn to the sight of everyone engrossed in a   hushed game. Seeking to bid farewell to Seungcheol, I gently tapped his shoulder, but to my surprise, he seemed oblivious to my presence. Undeterred, I redirected my touch to Seokmin's back instead, he turned towards me but turned back to the mini game they were playing when it was his turn, his face..... that cute flush with a rosy hue, and his adorable pout tugged at my heartstrings. In that moment, I couldn't help but yearn for the tender moments when I would caress his cheek, captivated by his endearing gestures, or when he sought solace in my embrace after being playfully teased by the other members.

Disappointed, I simply shook my head in response to his antics. Feeling a heavy sigh escape my lips, I immediately reached for my phone and dialed our manager's number, desperately hoping for a way out of this situation. Doubts crept into my mind as I wondered if they would even care if I left. The constant feeling of being a burden weighed heavily on me, making me question if I truly made everything about myself, if I was truly self-centered. your nothing so why wont you just do it what's holding you back don't listen to vernon what he said to you was a lie you disappointed them all and they will never forgive you.

Overwhelmed by a flood of emotions, tears welled up in my eyes once more. The haunting voice echoed in my mind, resonating with painful truth. Doubt consumed me as I questioned my purpose in this place, surrounded by those who despised me. The very people I considered my own, now turned their backs on me, leaving me feeling isolated and unwanted. Their distance pain me it pressed upon my weary shoulders, suffocating any glimmer of hope. Should I surrender and walk away, or would that be too feeble of a response? The thought of ending my own existence whispered its sinister allure, tempting me with the promise of an escape from this unbearable torment.

As I glanced at my phone, a sinking feeling washed over me. The text message revealed that my manager had arrived, and without a second thought, I hastily made my exit. The weight of exclusion settled heavily upon my shoulders, engulfing me in a wave of desolation. Observing my fellow members revel in their camaraderie only intensified my sense of isolation. Doubts began to plague my mind, convinced that Seungcheol harbored resentment towards me, and Chan's disdain had reached new heights. The weariness that consumed me was not merely physical but also emotional, as if I had exhausted every ounce of effort in attempting to fit in, makes me so tired.

Next day. (Im just too lazy lmao.)

Once again, I awoke without feeling the slightest tremor. Instead, it was the frigid air that jolted me from my slumber, hitting my tender body. As I groggily opened my eyes, the thin fabric of the curtains parted, allowing the warm sunlight to blind my eyes. With a sense of urgency, I glanced at the clock, only to be met with a jolt of panic as I realized it was already 6:30 AM. My eyes widened in disbelief, for I had forgotten to set my alarm the previous night, knowing full well that my members no longer bothered to awake me. The familiar call to breakfast echoed in my mind, and without a moment to spare, I hastily rummaged through my drawer, hastily donning a black t-shirt and a pair of joggers. There was no time to brush my teeth, wash my face, or even freshen up. Grabbing my shoes, I dashed downstairs, only to find an empty house. My heart sank as I watched my team depart, once again forgetting about my presence.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

"Guys something dosen't feel right" hoshi say's.

"Nothing feels right with you now shhh let me get this little sleep I have left." Seungkwan say's snuggling against {Hansol} hoshi only rolled his eyes and smacked his lips which hansol giggled about.

Everyone was very tired and was very drunk not even realizing that they left their member behind.

Joshua found himself in a perplexing predicament, unsure of how to proceed. A wave of panic washed over him, as he weighed the consequences of each possible course of action. If he dared to call the manager for a ride, he knew he would face a stern scolding for his lack of punctuality. On the other hand, if he attempted to make his way on foot, he would only exacerbate his tardiness and face an even more severe reprimand. The thought of being publicly embarrassed by the team's dance choreographer, in front of his entire team, sent shivers down his spine. And yet, if he chose to stay put, he would be labeled as lazy by his fellow members, enduring their scolding as well. With a heavy sigh, Joshua reluctantly opted for the first option, hoping it would spare him from the worst of the consequences.

As he called their manager it kept going to voice mail he started to get more and more frustrated as the phone kept leading to voicemail, he called twice, his eyes started to well up, he called 4 times one tear slip, finally calling him once more time he finally let his tears fall, the guilty feeling rushed down my body, feeling stupid, "everything is my  fault" he said every word he spoke more tears welled down his face his throat feeling stuck, he was gonna be late which he never was and his teammates forgot him.

1 step he goes.

The more tears kept coming down
as he walk....alone....again.

As the 12 of them make it inside the dance room they notice the dance choreographer was not there yet and all heavily sighed.

"Thankgod." Seungkwan say's.

"Guys were missing someone I just counted and it's only 12 of us." Seungcheol say's.

"Fuck were missing joshua." Mingyu say's.

"I Told you guys I felt something off!." Hoshi say's staring at seungkwan who only snarled and rolled his eyes folding his arms.

" What the hell are we gonna do If joshua isn't here then that crazy man is gonna scold us because of joshua." Seungkwan spat.

"Seungkwan watch your mouth you guys speak so ill of joshua its driving me nuts." Jihoon say's quite annoyed how the way the teams demanor changed and everyone is so against him for accidentally pushing Chan who is clearly fine, he hates it so much and he feels like he let this go on for too long.

"Well he should-." Everyone was silent, the door opened revealing the choreographer his eyes super sharp eyeing all of them, his eyebrow lifted scanning the room to find a certain brown headed boy who is currently not in the room.

"Where is Joshua?." He said in a demanding tone.

Sorry for short chapt!