101 reasons why I loved you // l.h // ON HOLD

week 7

reason #7 (the way you kissed me)

dear luke,

this is the seventh reason of 101 why I loved you.

I loved the way you kissed me. not that it wasn't often, because you literally tried to suck my face off every single time you got the chance to.

kissing you was something I found myself missing more than anything after you were gone. every moment I was with you we seemed to be kissing, even after we got married. we were always like "infatuated teenagers" my mum always used to say. we could never get enough of each other.

our first kiss was my first kiss with anyone, and you made it the best. you were my first everything. my first kiss, my first love, and my last love.

you kept kissing me in public for no reason when we were together. you would embarrass me by kissing me all over my face, including my stomach as we scanned the baby isle.

you made a habit of always making me blush before we kissed, no matter how many times we had kissed, you always managed to embarrass me like it was the first time.

you would hold my face in your large hands, your calloused thumbs running over the surface of my jaw. you would bite your lip, making sure to tug slightly on the ring there, knowing I loved when you did that.

you would look me in the eyes the entire time leading up to the kiss, making me squirm feeling uncomfortable, and you would remind me that I was beautiful. we would stand there for minutes just staring into each other's eyes, relishing in each other's presence.

I would run my hands over your shoulders, feeling the muscles there contract as you rested your hands on my waist and pulled me closer.

you would kiss me without warning, gripping the material of my shirt before you placed your hands underneath it, on the flush skin of my hips.

I would run my fingers up the hairs on the back of your neck, and you would squeeze my ass, making me squeal and jump away from you in surprise.

I loved how often we kissed. we would kiss while watching movies, while baking cakes for the monthly dinner we had with our parents, when we showered together, made love with each other, etc.

you showed me you loved me the way you kissed me, and how often you did.

you made sure to tell me that you loved me and you showed me by kissing me as often as you could. when you kissed me, you kissed me hard, like it was the last one we would ever share.

I didn't get to kiss you before you passed away. I would give you a kiss when I visited you in the hospital, and you wouldn't kiss back very hard, almost as if you were weary to. I didn't think much of it.

I hadn't known until weeks later when you died, that you had lost your memory, and that enraged me more than anything that you wouldn't tell me, because you knew it would happen eventually.

you wouldn't tell me that you weren't going to know who I was when I thought you did. that the reason you wouldn't kiss me back was because you had no idea who I was. you were trusting the doctors when they were telling you that this complete stranger was your wife and that she was pregnant with your child.

I remember your lips, and the way they felt. your lips were always warm, and soft, except for the rare time they were cracked, and I would put lip balm on them, even though you argued and said that the boys would laugh at you for having red tinted lips.

your kiss was something that was a privilege to me. I was special enough to have you love me and show me your love in the way that you always did. when you died, I found myself missing the feeling of your lips against mine, something I would always remember.

that was reason 7 of 101 why I loved you.

love, amanda