101 reasons why I loved you // l.h // ON HOLD

week 9

a/n this chapter is dedicated to thatfetchpanda because she is honestly the best and helps me with writing this story.

reason #9 (your honesty)

dear luke,

this is the ninth reason of 101 why I loved you.

you were never one to lie,and when you did you ended up giggling and telling the truth anyways.

I loved that you were honest, and you didn't hold back on saying what you needed to say(even if it was sometimes rude). you didn't let anything go unsaid, or let the truth be untold.

I was an insecure person, not that you didn't know that. I was constantly bringing myself down and you would constantly tell me kind things to make me feel better about myself. I never believed you, of course, but you always told me that every single word you were saying to me was complete honesty and that I had to see the beauty, and potential in myself.

I would put myself down all the time, and you would try to bring my confidence back up. I thought I was ugly, you would tell me I was beautiful. I thought that I was bad at my job, and you would tell me that I was the best at it.

I was terrified to be a mother, but you were there(until you got sick) and told me everything you knew. you told me the truth when I needed to hear it to make it easier for me to cope with the situation.

when you got sick, you didn't hide it from me. not that you could, because I was with you the day you were diagnosed. I fell onto my knees in shock, and even as tears rolled down your cheeks you told me everything would be okay.

I knew that when you got sick that you weren't going to make it. it was one tumour at the time, and the doctors said you would be okay, but I knew.

we never had much luck, either. it seemed like we were cursed at times. a part of me knew that when you got sick that you wouldn't make it, so I had to spend as much time with you before you would go.

even when you were lying in the hospital bed dying, you told me you would be okay. you were always honest with me, but it came to a point when you were dying that you couldn't do anything, and you knew that I didn't know, and that telling me wouldn't do anything to help you anyways.

you were always honest with my parents too. I think that's why they were worried about you being 'good enough' for me when you met them.

you were sometimes a little too honest, but that was a trait of yours I always loved.

that was reason 9 of 101 why I loved you.

love, amanda