Hate Is A Strong Word

14.

I'm having a low moment in my life right now. Who wouldn't have one when everything they've worked, cried and stressed over for at least a month is crumbling under their hands. I also greatly underestimate my ability to continue to lead the student board. Of course I am, but I can't handle it anymore.

Those who are supposed to help at Halloween are supposed to meet in ten minutes at the gym and already ten people have texted me saying, they are sick and can't make it. Great, as if it wasn't bad enough that I spent all Sunday afternoon arguing with the teacher and fixing some shitty DJ shit, only to have the kid, who was supposed to DJ text me anyway, that he has strep throat.

I desperately need to get at least ten people, or I don't really know, how it's gonna go. And to make matters worse, our principal has planned some sort of a trip to local landmarks, which ends with watching a documentary about Schumacher in our town cinema. I love Schumacher and F1, but I'm glad, that I'm staying in school. The whole school is going on this event, or rather a hike, except for those who are planning the trail.

We're about to meet, they leave at 8:30, so I'll make it, I have to. I get up from the toilet, wipe my tears and walk out of the cubicle. The toilets are empty and yet the school bell hasn't rung yet. I pull mascara and tissues out of my bag, get rid of the black smudges on my cheeks, and throw the tissue in the trash. I apply mascara to my eyelashes and it makes them even longer and more defined.

I try on my fake and overly sweet smile and walk towards the door, that leads to the hallway, where the doorbell is currently ringing. I fall out the door and in my haste, bump into a tall figure walking towards me. I look up and a very familiar face appears before my eyes. Well, when I woke up that morning and he was still holding me in his arms, I was shocked.

I didn't know how to react. It was something, strange, something I couldn't have even thought of a few weeks ago. He was asleep, sleeping so incredibly peacefully, but his face radiated signs of fear and exhaustion. We got most things done by lunchtime, then he went to the game where his father shook him, but somehow, mysteriously, he played through it, even though he had a wound on his arm.

I then went to school, where I worked with Matthew on the technique situation. While Red was negotiating the speakers and other things with the teacher, Matthew and I were fixing the board according to the instructions on the internet. Luckily the teacher got the equipment back and we fixed it somehow, I just hope it doesn't blow up halfway through. That would be really, really bad.

I didn't even get a chance to talk to Sebastian about how it's gonna be. Because we're both breaking the terms we promised each other at the beginning. He was sleeping in my bed, so maybe we should wake up. Now the bed, and in few days I'm going to suck his dick in the shower, that can't happen. After this, we'll have a serious talk about what's gonna happen between us.

"Did you cry?" He runs his gaze from my head to toe and then back to my eyes, and meanwhile I take a step back from him. I think there have been too many touches lately.

"No."

"Don't lie to me, Lili." Lili.

"Aren't you supposed to be in the gym?" I admonish him and he rolls his eyes. If only he was in the mood, I missed that so much.

"Elis's bringing me something." He looks out the window and then back at me. There's been a bit of a sulk between us since then, awkward glances and interactions. But we'll have to get through this somehow, he was the one who helped me with everything and made seven hundred cards. "Why were you crying?"

"About ten people dropped out." My cell phone dings, and then it dings again. "Twelve."

"They're not gone yet." Yes, they are not! They're still at school! Sebastian! It's a good thing I have him. Men are usually useless, but this guy has great ideas, sometimes.