Hate Is A Strong Word

42.

"What are you doing?"

"Me?" I open the window wide. "Nothing." He shouts back at me. I stick my head out the window and the warm June night air rushes into both my face and the room, causing a draft. The door slams and I turn behind it, then back to a smiling Sebastian. We hadn't seen each other in about two weeks and something now, because he was going to all the various interviews and other bullshit that winning the bronze medal entailed and then going to some physicals or whatever.

It's nice to see him again, even though I'm looking out the window at eleven o'clock at night now and instead of asking for keys and going upstairs, he's standing on the grass with his skates over his shoulder. "Do you want to go skating?" The window in the opposite house takes on light and behind the curtain, the neighbor comes into view. Mostly she can't see and I have to find her dog, but spying on the neighbors, that's what her eyes are for.

My parents are at a friend's party, Juraj is at Grandma's, where else, and Simon is still recovering from his leg injury in sunny Tampa. He might show up home, too. It's the middle of June, summer and the end of the school year is coming soon, and I believe I'm going to have a great time this year.

"At eleven at night?" He shrugs. "Wait a minute." I close the window. He thinks I haven't seen him in a while, but I can see his joy through the curtains. I smile to myself and walk away from the window. I change out of my T-shirt and shorts into a pair of thermal pants and a sweatshirt that serves the same purpose. I pull on my socks, pull my hair into a high ponytail, then braid it into a tight braid. I grab my phone and my skates from next to the table, which have been sitting there since last night. I grab my backpack, throw the skates in it, and walk out of the room.

He always manages to convince me, even to things that are a hundred times worse than this. That's actually a good thing. We're going ice skating at almost midnight. What I've never experienced with this kid before. I wear the sneakers with flowers that Sebastian bought me because it was my wish. I grab my keys, throw on my jacket, get out of the house and lock up. Sebastian is already waiting in the driveway, leaning against his motorcycle. It's quite cold outside, but other times it's warmer. "Hey." He hugs me and his body suddenly relaxes all at once. I stroke his hair.

"Hi." He whispers and I pull away from him. "You look nice." I grin. "Do I get a kiss?" I tilt my head and his hands gently touch my waist and stay there too. The sensation coursing through my body right now is indescribable. It warms you from the inside, especially at the heart, and you feel like you're finally getting everything you deserve.

"What were your results?"

"The best." The corner of his lip twitches gently, but I don't question whether he or Max was the best. I place my palms on his cheeks. On the dimples his smile has made pop out. I kiss him and his smile gets even bigger. "Did you eat properly?" I nod and he strokes my cheeks. "Did you tell them?" I nod. Sebastian and I were having a talk. We've discussed me telling my mom and dad what was and is going on with me and my relationship with food. That the bad stuff is gone. That I was on the verge of a breakdown and also that Sebastian was the one who helped me.

It's good now. Admittedly, sometimes I look at my plate for a few minutes and wonder if I should or not. It's always yes, because when I remember what was happening to me, at least a little bit. I say it often, but not to myself, out loud, that if it weren't for Sebastian, I probably wouldn't have gotten out of this problem. He's my guardian angel. I'm his.

I sat down with my parents, started slowly and gradually added everything that happened. It was sad, but at the same time I finally felt lighter. Someone other than Sebastian finally knows. Those sentences and messages were also heard. My dad wanted to deal with it, as a lawyer he started threatening with other lawyers like your average internet star. But Sebastian had already taken care of that.