Hate Is A Strong Word

41.

What are we capable of doing for love? We are capable of fighting, crying, screaming, laughing, jumping into the fire. Go through hell and paradise, hate and love, bad and good. Walk on glass, run for miles, suffer and cry. But love is still the most important thing. Having someone we can count on. Someone we can hug or cry on their shoulder.

I can do anything for love. Anything for a piece of a feeling. That's why I'm wearing a cap with a little lion on it, blue, white and red on my nails. In one hand, a suitcase handle, in the other, a passport with a ticket. Slowly I am walking in the crowd of people who, like me, are trying to get into the country with the blue cross in the flag.

He doesn't know that I'm now handing my ticket to a nice stewardess. He has no idea I'll be knocking on his room door today. "Hockey?" The lady asks as she hands my ticket back to me.

"Yeah, yeah." I smile and make my way through the tunnel towards the plane. An elderly lady smiles at me as I enter and I make my way to my seat, which is in the middle of the plane. I toss my suitcase upstairs, leaving only my laptop, phone and headphones with me. Since only my parents, Viktor and Ema, and Elisa know about my escape to Finland, I have to finish the work I would otherwise have to do at school. My mom texted my class teacher that I'm sick, so it's okay. I've shifted all the action to Nina and Matthew, to whom I've told that I'm going to Slovakia to see my grandma and grandpa.

My parents were okay with my trip to Tampere, because the night I wrote the book and cried probably convinced them that it was best for me to fly to Sebastian. Plus, Elis will be spending most of her time with me when I'm not with Sebastian. Elisa's kind of my secret accomplice.

There's no trip to Tampa this year because my little brother didn't advance. Now he's lying on a beach somewhere with his bad leg. I open my laptop and continue my work on the discrimination against women throughout history. The will be angery again.

I put headphones in my ears and hope no one sits next to me. I saw a few people who looked like they were rushing to the main venue for the championship. Lately I've taken a liking to a podcast where they talk about wine. They break down types of wine and all things wine related. It's interesting.

I have two main concerns, how I'm going to get to the hotel, and how he is going to react. I'm expecting anything, because with Sebastian and me, you can't predict anything. It can be a nice moment, but it can also go wrong quickly. But I'm not flying home before the end of the championship.

-

Inhale and exhale. The flight was fine, but now I'm going to have the hardest part of the day. It's all been great so far without any complications, but I wasn't standing in front of the door with Sebastian behind it. He always runs the boards at every tournament and this is no different. Under the guidance of his crazy father, who doesn't know I'm here, he's giving his best performance.

I'm here. Not because he asked me to or to make things right between us. I want to make him happy and hope for the future that he does the same for me someday. That fight was stupid, it could have been resolved normally and calmly. I'm stubborn, he's stubborn, and he's hot-headed. It's terrible, if we both thought for once we wouldn't have to fight at all.

I take a deep breath and my knuckles touch the door, which is brown in color and probably made of particleboard. There's no turning back now. I can run away, but what would I do alone in the evening somewhere in a city in Finland where I am for the first time in my life. The class teacher will smother Viktor until he just tells her where I am. She won't believe that I'm sick during the world championship. I don't have the flu in real life, but I'm in a Scandinavian country.

I hear footsteps and some talking. There's still time to run, but I'm a brave and strong woman. On the plane, I finish my essay and Crow will loose his shit again. The door is relatively thin, so I hear, I'll call you later, dude, then the lock snaps and I feel lightheaded. Like I'm about to pass out.