Be My Girlfriend

21

Brittany's P.O.V.

"What are we doing here?" Jo asked as soon as I let go of her hand.

I walked past her and had my back on her. I ran my fingers through my hair.

Why did I bring her here?

In the morning, when I saw her leaving the library hand in hand with Rachel, I was so furious. So furious that I almost went up to them, I stopped myself only as I don't want my girls asking questions after.

Especially, Giselle. She knows it was only a game for me, so it would look strange if I will act a jealous girlfriend in front of her.

The entire morning she was with Rachel, I watched her from a distance. She was laughing and smiling with her and I was clenching my fist thinking of Rachel's face.

In my mind, I was beating her to death just because she was with Jo and she was making her laugh. And I know they exchanged numbers and it infuriates me more, I didn't give her that phone for her to flirt with others!

"What's with you and Rachel?" I asked turning to face her.

She has one hand on her waist and her eyebrows are almost meeting each other.

"What are you talking about?" She dropped her bag on the ground.

"Does she have... Does she like you or something?" I ignored her question.

I watched her as her mouth hung open.

My insides are burning with anger thinking about the two of them but I was trying to calm myself.

"Are you jealous of Rachel?"

Those words echoed in my ear.

Am I?

"Just, just answer the damn question, Thompson!" I demanded.

Her hand that was on her waist fell on her side, her facial features softened like she was confused. She even massaged her temple.

"Do you have any idea how complicated you are, Anderson? You're confusing the hell out of me! We were okay last night, then this morning you were back to your old bitchy self and now this? You sound almost like a jealous girlfriend! And I don't know anymore what to do, how to be around you and other people. I can't... I just..."

Fuck, is she crying?

"Just, tell me what you want, Brittany! I'm not your puppet, we have a deal and I am trying my best to do my part but you gotta meet me halfway for us to work!" Her voice break and I know she was about to cry.

I felt a pang in my chest thinking I made her cry. And when I saw a tear fall down her cheek, my heart ache. My feet like they have their own minds, walk towards her, closing our distance. I grabbed her and pulled her in a tight hug.

She was probably shocked and wasn't able to move but I continued hugging her.

"I'm sorry, Jo. Please don't cry, I'm sorry!" I told her almost begging.

Not long before I felt her hugging me back. She rested her face on the crook of my neck while I gently rub her back and I forgot everything, why I was fuming with anger, mentally punching Rachel, everything.

"I'm sorry!" I repeated.

She didn't answer me back but I was glad that she was letting me hold her. We stayed in that position for a few minutes before she freed herself.

She wiped her face while I wait for her to say something.

"Let's have lunch. I have practice today." She picked up her bag and walk past me.

As I followed her, I stared at her behind. 

It was not the first time I saw someone cry because of me, but when I saw her cry, the pain just crept up my chest like imaginary hands were choking the life out of me.

Am I really liking Jo?

Am I really changing and going soft because of a girl?

A girl that I tricked to be my girlfriend?

"Why are you walking behind me?" I was pulled out of my deep thoughts by her voice.

She stopped walking and waited for me to catch up.

We headed to the cafeteria, there were not many kids around, I think just the ones that has practice today including Rachel.

The anger I had earlier was awakened seeing Rachel, but Jo must've seen where I am looking at as she reached for my hand and intertwined it with hers.

I looked down at our hands before diverting to Jo.

With just a simple gesture, she made me feel calm in an instant.

"What do you want to eat?" Jo asked looking at the food in front of us.

I pointed at the club sandwich, she ordered it along with her green salad.

"That's all you're gonna eat? You'll be at practice for a few hours, is that enough?"

"I don't feel like eating."

I could tell she was in no mood and I know I caused it.

She paid for everything and carried the tray to the nearest table.

"You should've let me pay." I told her as soon as we sat down.

She quietly handed me my food and began eating her salad.

"I'm sorry, Jo."

I never apologized to someone when I was at fault, I am Brittany Anderson and I don't answer to anybody but just to myself.

But I've been feeling this need and urge to ask for Jo's forgiveness when I saw her cry. I told her I was sorry but she never answer me, instead she was silent, and it bugs me.

I also have this feeling, the need to make her feel better.

"Jo?" She was looking down at her food, playing with it as I searched for her eyes.

I reached for her hand and held it with mine.

"I'm really sorry, Jo. Please... I'm sorry." I can't believe I'm begging her to forgive me.

I feel like, I can swallow my own pride just for Jo to be not mad at me.

"What happened to you this morning?" She asked, finally meeting my gaze.

"Jo..." How can I tell her the truth?

"Fine, if you don't want to tell me." She took her hand away and looked down again.

I sighed deeply before speaking.

"Look, Jo... You were the first..." When I got her attention, I continued.

"... The first person who made me feel these... this kind of feelings and emotions, you know?" She didn't say anything but her face says it all, she had her brows furrowed and her eyes were staring at me intently, asking silently.

"You make me laugh till my tummy hurts, you make me want to spend time with you even just with texts, you make me furious by just you talking to someone else, you make me... jealous, they were all new to me and it was not easy for me to accept the fact that you were changing me. I mean, you know how am I at this school, everybody fears me, even the teachers and principal. And then, you came along and gave me all these feelings that I never felt with anybody else. This..." I brought my fingers to my chest.

"This isn't me, Jo. I don't get these feelings. And last night was really great, I even think it was the first time I slept with a smile on my face and even woke up the same. It was strange, it felt strange, well the good kind but, it's not me. When I woke up realizing that... I just, I feel like, no, I was afraid that someone like you is changing me, and I was a bitch to accept that. So this morning, I thought I'll hide what I was really feeling towards you and I didn't know it was gonna fire back..."

I stopped for a second as I need to catch my breath. It was a long speech but I'll admit, getting it out in the open feels great.

"So, I guess, I am apologizing to you. I'm sorry if I hurt you. I never want to see you cry like that again, Jo. Forgive me, please?"