Save each other // Joel Miller

Obsessed

"Thanks Barb, see you tomorrow!" Sophie calls from over her shoulder. A large stack of books and loose papers wheighs heavy in her arms as she walks back to the house. Although she told Barb that she was done studying for the day, she planned on reading until her body gave out.

It's been about a week and a half since Tommy stopped by for breakfast and declared some sort of grand plan to show her and Ellie, but when it came time to meet by the gate, he was no where to be found. Ellie worried and approached Maria about it, who in turn did her own searching. Tommy was drunk, mumbling incoherently to himself on his livingroom floor. Since then, he has stuck to his home and Sophie just didn't have it in her to go to his place.

The time she spent at Jackson was purely academic, her nose in a book or ear to Barbs ideas and strategies. They brainstormed plans A through Z for anything that might possibly happen with the impending birth. At least until Barb was reassuringly patting Sophie on the shoulder with a knowing look. Barb worried too, but she was confident the two of them were perfectly capable and ready.

But Sophie wasn't in a hurry to relax. She laid awake at night, her mind wondering to places she would rather forget. So she instead studied, wrote notes, and created scenarios to solve until her eyelids became to heavy to keep open. Her dreams even became something of a medical anomaly, swirling with saving people in different predicaments. She was thankful that they always lived, because if her daydreams chased her night dreams away, she would never sleep again.

All in all, Sophie knew what she was doing. She was deflecting. Distracting herself from her emotions with copious amounts of books. Her books were a solid, unmoving foundation of information she could trust. Nothing like the complications of emotional connections. She wanted to logic her way through her life. Black and white. But it was never simple.

Because when it came down to it, she was completely and utterly in love with Joel and she couldn't shake the feeling that it made her a bad person.

Joels actions were rash, and cruel, and a bit thoughtless, but Sophie couldn't find it in herself to disagree with him. His ability to take a whole hospital of fireflies down was intimidating to say the least, and yet it made her more fond of him. A person with such great power and reined chaos would do anything for her, and frankly, it was exciting.

No one, not even her brother, taught her how to manage this type of conflict. Finnick told her once that she would never understand why a person does what they do, but to have faith in them anyway is the real testament. And she did have faith in Joel. And In herself. If she couldn't shake the gut feeling that losing Joel was much more dangerous than being with him, then she would work through the kinks of her morals.

Sophie let out a hefty sigh and trudged up the stairs. She wasn't sure if it was the weight of the books getting to her or the heavy thoughts but by the time she was plopping them on the table in the living room, she was exhausted. She closed her eyes and let her body sink into the couch, rubbing her temples with her fingers.

"Penny for your thoughts?" A deep coice rang from the doorway. Sophie nearly jumped out of her skin as she whipped her head in the direction. Tommy stood there, a slight smirk to his whithered face. He looked like he's been through hell and back.

"Jesus Christ Tommy! What the hell are you doing here?" Sophie exclaimed, jumping back to her tired feet and marching straight up to him. Tommy straightened up and stood his ground.

"Hear me out darlin', I can explain." He began, palms up in surrender. Sophie ground her teeth together tight to keep from interrupting. She crossed her arms to keep from swinging a fist to any part of him. She was a ball of tension, ready to snap at any moment.