Washingdad one shots!

10 times Alex was being himself (And 1 time Washington played along) | Alexander

Time: Now

Hamilton age: 13

Washington age: 45

Context: I'm not funny I'm just desperate 

Also I didn't come up with these don't attack me

Also I'm sorry I didn't have any chapter last week some stuff happened at my school and I was busy. 

Third person: 

 1: "Alexander, the tv's not working!" Washington yelled from the family room. "Don't worry, you have to treat an electronic like you treat a patient on life support." He responded, running downstairs. Alexander unplugged the tv, then plugged it back in. Nothing happened. "Yeah, that didn't work on my mom either." Alexander mumbled, shrugging and walking away. "Jesus Christ Alex..." Washington mumbled as his son walked away. 

 2: "Martha, this is the best Father's Day present ever... thanks!" Washington kissed his wife and held up the mug she had given him. "Being half asleep and feeling someone gently plant a kiss on your forehead is one of the purest kinds of love in the world. Thank you." Washington said, smiling at Martha. "Unless you live alone..." Alexander said from across the kitchen table. His parents looked up at him and just stared before Martha spoke up. "Do you have the ability do ruin every wholesome moment out there?" 

 3: "How can vegetarians possibly love the environment.. they keep eating all the fucking plants?" Alexander asked in the middle of dinner one night. "Alex... language, first of all, and two, what the fuck?" Washington asked. "It's a real question!" "No... no it's not. Just go upstairs because I don't have anything else to say to you." Washington groaned, putting his head in his hands and sighing.

4: "I'm telling you, I don't cry about anything. Ever" Alexander bragged to his dad. "Question. When they shot Bambi's mother, did you find that a sad moment...at all?" Washington responded. "I'm sure she's mounted on a nice wall in a fine home somewhere." Alexander shrugged. "You're done." Washington said. 

5: "That's greatly offensive to my people." Washington scolded after Alexander made a joke about political leaders to his friend Hercules. "College dropouts?" Alexander asked in the most innocent voice ever. Washington had nothing to say, he just stood there, not sure how to respond, because what the fuck do you even do in that situation? 

6: " What are they in for?" Alexander asked as he wandered around the zoo with his dad. "Alexander , this isn't prison." Washington responded, not really sure if he was being serious. This was his first time in a zoo after all. "So they can leave?" He asked, hoping for a funny response. "Well no-" Alexander pointed at a random meerkat. "I bet that one murdered someone." He said, dragging his dad to the Dippin Dots stand. 

7: "I'm sorry, only responsible adults can be chaperones. That's why I asked Martha instead. "I am a responsible adult!" Washington argued, not willing to deal with this little shit right now. Alexander just raised his eyebrow, which was some solid logic that even Washington couldn't argue with. "I am an adult." Washington corrected himself.

8: "We need to jog your memory. Does this note remind you of anything?" Washington asked, holding up a paper that his brother left him before the hurricane. "Yeah, it's jogging. It's titties are jiggling a little bit." Alexander responded, mainly because Lafayette was right next to him and he wanted to be funny. "Real classy Alex. I need a minute to recover from that, so do not speak to me for a good five to seven business days. Martha, why did I have kids?" He yelled the last part as he ran upstairs, hoping to never interact with another teenager again. 

9: "I feel so burnt out..." Washington mumbled to himself at the kitchen table. "Don't worry, it'll all be over soon." Alexander said quietly from the kitchen island behind the table. "Alexander, it's one in the morning... Are you going to assassinate me? A/N: It's 1 am and I sat there for five minutes trying to process the fact that assassin is spelled ass ass in)  "Well... not if you're expecting it!" Alexander said, running to go to bed before his dad will yell at him. 

10: Alexander was listening to his dad go on another random lecture about something dumb that happened at work. "Yeah, any idiot would know that." Alexander mumbled as he scribbled on a napkin. "I knew that." Washington deadpanned. "Yeah... exactly." Alexander stared into his father's soul. 

PLUS ONE TIME WASHINGTON WENT ALONG WITH HIS SON'S ANTICS

*Texting*

Alex🏆: Washington

Alex🏆: Washington help

Washing Machine: What

Alex🏆: There's a moth outside the bathroom door help im scared 

Alex🏆: Washington

Alex🏆: Dad 

Alex🏆: dad help pls

Washing Machine: Dad is dead. You're next. Love, Moth. 

Probs gonna do a double update to make up for last week but that'll happen tomorrow (If ever) 

I just have a lot going on rn so I might not do double updates this week.

Also I probably won't do these incorrect quotes again it's just too late to use my brain. Unless this does good.