Don't hurt me.

This probably won't be an average teenage love story, then again who knows maybe it will.

"Hi, I'm Des and well I thought I'd make this blog to well I dunno tell my life" I type. I don't even know what I'm doing making a blog like people will care, I'm utterly ridicules.

Dammit Des stop being such a fuck up.

Why is everything I do wrong? When will I ever make a right decision? I just can't win.

I throw on some skinny jeans vans and a sweater, get my bag, and grab my board. When I get down stairs my mum is fighting with my brother about the state he came home in last night. See, my big brother Finn is quite the partier. He comes home smashed about every night. It's some coping mechanism for the shithole that is out lives.

I rush out before I'm acknowledged. That would have been shitty. Anyway, I skate to school, see my mum doesn't drive and my stepdad hates me so I skate just about everywhere.

I arrive at school and when I get in I go straight to my locker trying to go unnoticed. See, girls find me attractive and fall all over me and I just don't like it so I try to avoid it before my hormones get the best of me. I hate meaningless sex although its something I frequent it's just when a girl is throwing herself at you how could you say no? Maybe I'm just a prick but I can't resist. It's earned me quite the reputation, although that's nothing I'm proud of.

I get all me things I need for my morning courses and head to class, school is such a bore. I have a photographic memory so it makes it especially mind numbing.

The day goes by normal. When I get home my stepdad's waiting for me. Wonder what I did this time?

"Des, get the fuck over here you fucking scum, didn't I tell you to do the dishes last night?" He tells gruffly and although he didn't tell me I know I'm in for a beating. "No, you told Nathan to do them" I say truthfully, he won't believe me favours Nathan because Nathan's his son. "Des, you know Nathan couldn't risk that, what if he cut his hand his rugby career could be ruined, you're just out to ruin him aren't you, you little cunt!" He says as he advances for me and punches me dead in the eye. As I fall to the floor he kicks me and spits on my and I just stay there on the floor until Finn comes to get me. "He really got you bad this time aye?" He says as he picks me up and caries me up to my room. "Nothing I can't handle, don't worry about me, I'm fine" 'I'm fine' I've been telling myself that for awhile now, I'm not fine in anyway, I feel dead inside.

I pull out my laptop and log onto my blog delete my previous post and start over.

"Hi, I'm Des I'm 15 years old and I suffer from abuse and depression, I mutilate my body and do just about any drug to numb the pain. I don't really share this with people but I can't hold my problems in anymore it hurts to much. I've always been told to be a man and to man up but I can't be strong for much longer...."

I finish typing and pull out an old friend. This is too much. Way. Too. Much. I can't handle it. I just can't. Opening up is not something I'm good at. With two slashes to my already scarred to no return arms I pull out a blunt light it and chill out. I can't do this shit. Why am I still alive?

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I hope you like it.

I'm sure where I'm going with this but I decided to tell the story from the boys point of view for a change haha.

-Hallie.