Don't hurt me.

Chapter 10

Carter's POV (before the kiss)

I put on my trainers running out the door. It's great to be back in the U.K. I've really missed it. I've really missed Destin.

No I shouldn't think of him. I've heard what he became and I want no part of it. To think I've actually kept my virginity for this boy and he's turned into a player. Oh god.

I run out the door as fast as I can pumping my legs to the limit. Now I can think. How could Dessie do this? Why'd he let himself turn out like this?

I understand him being hurt by his dads death but turning to drugs, sex, and alcohol is just sad. He could have talked to me. I could have been there. I wanted to be there for him. I really did.

I run past the graveyard noticing a familiar dark brown headed boy slumping against a tombstone. The tombstone belonging to his father, his father that died the same night I left him alone hurting to face these things alone. How could I not blame myself? I left him when he needed me most.

I begin walking towards him. I can't stop myself it's like my body has a mind of its own. Before I can turn away Destin looks up at me. At this point I notice them all over his body. The scars. What happened? I stuttered this out.

He goes on telling me he's done this to himself. Once again guilt washes over me. Why did you fucking leave him Carter?

Next thing I know he's kissing me and I'm kissing him back. He licks my bottom lip asking for entrance and I let him, crying. I really do love him. But I can't cheat.

"I'm sorry there's someone else." I stumble over the words shoving him away. I see pain then anger flick through those beautiful blue eyes. The same eyes that I used to melt into are now colourless and have bags under them.

I then run. I run as hard as I can and as fast as I can until I can't run anymore.

I crawl into bed and curl in a ball and cry. What have I done? I then fall asleep only to wake up to my phone ringing. I pick it up and a familiar voice speaks

"Carter Des tried to kill himself. He really needs you." Finn says into the phone. I can tell he's been crying. What the fuck have I done? I hate my self. I get up walk over to my mirror. I can't stand the monster looking back and I punch the mirror. Yeah it hurt. No I don't care.

I begin to feel woozy and I sit down. Before passing out I think 'Des it's always been you and it always will be. I don't care about what you've become I love you' then it went black.