Don't hurt me.

Chapter 4

This girl approaching me, I recognize her. I just can't place her. She just looks so familiar.

"Hello Dessie, long time eh?" She says.

I know her voice and that smirk. It's the girl from that first party that tied my fate. She took my virginity. But what's she doing here?

" u-h h-hi" keep calm dammit. " w-why the fuck are you here?" I finally spit out.

"Oh you know paying you a little visit is all" she says trailing her fingers up my body. Fuck me! This is too much.

"What do you want from me?" I say bitterly.

"I want you to be with me. You see all the guys I've had sex with. You simply were the best Dessie." She flirtatiously says. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"Uh, sorry but relationships aren't my thing." I say. I then turn and quickly walk away. This is too much. I can't handle this. I feel like pulling my hair out. I go to home room and walk in. I'm late of course.

"Destin how dare you interrupt my class? Take your seat this instant!" My teacher scolds. I groan at the use of my full name and take me seat at the back mumbling a quick apology.

Now, what am I going to do about my little situation?

She's a persistent one. She won't take no and she won't go away either. Maybe I'll ask Finn what to do if he ever sobers up.

The bell rings signaling the end of home room. I must of been zoned out for longer than I thought.

I gather my things and head out the door. As I'm walking to my next class I notice a girl. She's staring at me and she's probably one of the most gorgeous girls I've ever seen. How have I never noticed her before? Maybe she didn't want me to up until now? I'm simply not bold enough to speak to her so I just brush it off and head to class.

The day went by normal. The girl who wants to date me, it's sad I never bothered to ask her name all those years ago, she hasn't made an appearance again. As for the mystery girl, I keep seeing her and she just watches me I just don't know how to handle that. Anyway I've just gotten home.

"Hey fuck up, didn't I tell you to clean up the house last night?" My stepdad says.

"No you didn't. I'm not in the mood. Fuck. Off." I say. Im fucking sick if this prick.

"What did you just say boy?" He says through gritted teeth.

"I said. Fuck. Off." I say angrily.

"Watch your fucking mouth before I knock your teeth out you son of a bitch!" He yells. He then grabs me by the hair flinging me to the ground and kicks me over and over again. When he's done I drag myself upstairs and lay on my bed. I pull out my laptop and log onto my blog.

"Hi, so today an old 'friend' showed up. Get this! She wants a relationship with me and won't take no for answer. Lovely. If only she knew I can't handle a relationship. I'm like a sinking ship, she wouldn't want to go down with me. Besides you can't love something that's broken that'll only break you as well. Xx des" I type.

I guess I'll check my questions.

"What's being depressed like?"

Easy.

"It's like drowning and seeing everyone else as you die slowly and they do nothing to save you. It's like being invited to a party and being ignored the while time. You don't feel alive. You see everyone happy and of course you look like that on the inside but you never feel true happiness. I'd never wish these feelings on my worst enemy xx des" I type, knowing everything I just said is true.

Next question.

"How do you mutilate?" I'd rather not answer this but....

"I cut, burn, scratch, numb my pain with drugs and alcohol basically."

Yep. Everyday. Next question.

"You say things get to be 'too much' what do you mean by this?"

"Well see I have an awful temper when I get mad I black out and don't remember what happened and when I say things are 'too much' it means I feel like I'm on the verge of raging." It feels good to share this with people. It feels like weight is lifted.

I have a private message. Odd. It reads

" Des I saw you watching me today sorry I didn't say anything. I was to stunned at how happy you're able to seem xx Brinley" so she is the mystery girl.

"I'm a good actor. But you should talk to me. I'm far to timid to talk to you xx des" I type and send the message.

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Hi Megan c;

I hope you enjoyed this and sorry if its shot.

-Hallie.