Don't hurt me.

Chapter 14

Here I am laying on my bed listening to sad music to fit my sad life. I just need a smoke but that's on 'the list'. My mum keeps walking in my room to make sure I'm following her rules. I just flick her off and she leaves. God I hate her!

Ok so I don't hate my mum i love her but we used to be close. She gave up on me, she knows I'm a lost cause. I just regret every choice I've made over the past years. I fucked up big time. I ruined her, I ruined Finn, I ruined myself. I ruin everything, that's why everyone leaves me right?

The song changes and its one I can relate to. I feel tears prick my eyes and my through clench as I hear the lyrics.

"I'm just a robot,

I have no fears.

I lack emotion,

And I she'd no tears.

I'm just a coma,

A deadly sleep.

My heart is breaking,

But I just can't weep.

So dear I want you to cry,

And I want you to cry for me.

I don't want you to lie to me,

And say that it will be alright.

And I want you to say goodbye,

But girl I want you to mean it.

And I want you to find a man,

That's gonna treat you right.

I'm just a virus,

Inside your head,

You lay awake in your hospital bed.

I ain't no doctor,

But I know your sick,

Sick of the bullshit and the state I'm in.

So dear I want you to cry,

And I want you to cry for me.

I don't want you to lie to me,

And say that it will be alright.

And I want you to say goodbye,

But girl I want you to mean it.

And I want you to find a man,

That's gonna treat you right. (gonna treat you righ

I want you to cry,

And I want you to cry for me.

I don't want you to lie to me,

And say that it will be alright.

And I want you to say goodbye,

But girl I want you to mean it.

And I want you to find a man,

That's gonna treat you right.

So dear I want you to cry,

And I want you to cry for me.

I don't want you to lie to me,

And say that it will be alright.

And I want you to say goodbye,

But girl I want you to mean it.

And I want you to find a man,

That's gonna treat you right."

The song finishes and I'm full in crying and shaking uncontrollably. God dammit! Everything hurts so much. I just want to be happy. I start to tug at my hair. I yank harder and harder and cry hysterically. At this point my mum hears me and runs into my room.

"Destin, w-what are you-" she's cut off by Finn pushing her out of the room and shutting and locking the door.

"Shh shh Des it'll be okay." He says coming over to me and grabbing my arms and removing my hands from my hair. "Des calm down. Please, I can't see you like this." He says pulling me into a hug.

"Finn" I croak out "I hurt so much. I want it to stop. Make it stop." I whimper. He hugs me tighter shooshing me and stroking my hair.

"Des it'll stop soon I promise. I'll make it stop." He's says before pulling away and pulling out a cigarette. "You need this. Don't worry I'll tell mum it was me." He says handing me the cigarette and a lighter before getting up and leaving.

I lie on my bed flipping the lighter over in my hand feeling the smooth metal. In my other hand I have the cigarette. I bring it to my mouth lighting it and taking a long drag feeling the smooth smoke fill my chest. I blow the smoke out and watch it swirl into the air then disappear. I slowly begin to feel at ease.