I'll be there for you {CHARLES LECLERC, ENG}

I can't believe you

Charles leclerc's point of view:

I felt sick to my stomach i felt betrayed i felt just horrible. I don't know what caused it but I'm just not in my own skin right now and I don't need anybody to notice because what would they do? Talk to me? Tell em it will all be alright. Fuck no that's not what i need. I just need to know if  i can trust my lown fucking Girlfriend!

"Bear, you wanna jump in?" She says

Jump in the deep end and hope i end up in your arms yes. But not if all of it is true an do jump ending straight back where i started in a never ending circle of love.

"Okay" is what seems to leave my mouth.

She looked at me straight into my eyes, she knows something is up. She knows im thinking about our relationship. She grabbed my hand but instead of us jumping in she pulled me downstairs where nobody was at the moment. We sat down on a perfectly made bed.

"Talk"

I really don't know how i am supposed to start this. I'm just going to make it a question and not make assumptions.

"Did you do something you regret at Elsa's party?" i ask hoping she gets what i mean.

"Well I regret going in the first place but nothing to regret at the party no"
She looks at me and it clicks i see it in her look. Her eyebrows raised a little together with her eyes. Her ears moved to the back a little and she started blinking a lot. You could say it seems like guilt but not in her case.

It looks like she is disappointed, in me. She knows what i am thinking and i know she won't like it. Even tho it would not answer my question it seems like she didn't.

"Who made you think that?"

We haven't known each-other long enough to fall in love most people would say but it seems like we can taste each others words off of out tongue.

"Someone said it to me"

"So you just believe the first thing you hear Charles? I can't believe you"

"That's not the case Oaklynn. You were drunk at a party after you got kicked out by your parents. If someone already knows you were at that party it would already seem like they have the right information doesn't it?"

"So? Right or wrong you still believed them didn't you? It would already seem like you doubted me and my loyalty. So either you give me a better explanation or we are going back to shore right fucking now and you leave this boat"

"Oaklynn listen to me! I would never doubt you or your loyalty for a second. Just imagine i cheated and you heard that from Elsa. Would you not think a second about asking? Would you not feel a little betrayed by your feelings?"

"Ofcourse i would be asking myself questions. Does that mean you would've done it. Absolutely not. And i get it Charles i swear but you had no right in doubting me when i picked up when you called me and you can see everything i have on film"

"Okay then i am in the wrong im sorry. I just hope you see where i am coming from and that i am not just jumping to conclusions."

"Okay we will talk later" she says and just walks away.

I couldn't but let a tear fall down my cheeks i never cry, i NEVER cry. Why now?

I felt so bad. I could vomit right now is this really what love does to you. It doesn't but make me feel so worth it and ungrateful at the same time. I beg for it when I don't have it and when i do i feel undefeatable.

"Having a hard time?" Fifi the girl i had not talked too yet. Seems nice i guess

"Its nothing."

"I don't see a man crying very often. You can talk to me just us two now" she says awfully close to me on the bed.

"Im not crying (i was)— and i can handle it myself."

Her hand reached my upperleg. Putting it down in a way of comfort but it makes me feel very uncomfortable instead. I take a short look at the Camera hanging in this room seeing the green light flashing. Hoping nothing happen.

"You need a hug?"

"No I don't" i say resentful

"Okay that's fine" — she walks off.

Well that was a very weird interaction with a person i had not spoken a word to much before. I went back upstairs everyone was sitting on the deck. I sat in the only space that was left. Between Rosé and Eva.

".. so I bought a ring obviously and then i called her when everyone was there and i went down on one knee" pablo explained to the group

I'm looking at Oaklynn because this happend on her birthday. She hated that moment

"Matthew you were there right? When did all of this find place" Elsa asks

"I was there yes.it was about 2 months ago." Matthew says also looking  at Oaklynn i now see her head slightly tilted down.

"But what date? It needs to be a aesthetic date"

"August 16th" Matthew throws out.

"What? That's Oaklynns birthday i think you have those mixed up!"

"No it was at her party" pablo answered

"Omg Oaklynn thats so sweet that you let him do that. Must have been hard to kepeit a secret. I would never let anyone take my spotlight HAHAHAHAH" Eva says

"I didn't know." She says

"Now don't be dramatic Oaklynn i can have a moment too and it was for Rosé aswell she is your friend after all."

"Could have picked any other day ANY OTHER pablo!" Oaklynn says while she gets up walking to the front of the boat.

Everyone was staring at Pablo

"You're a real dickhead Pablo. Please consider taking therapy because it seems like tou have no idea what it means to have emotional and moment" i spit out while also getting up and going to Oaklynn

—

"Mon amour are you okay?" I ask slightly worried about what she will say to me coming after out argument

"I fucking hate my life! First he takes all the spotlight when there never was one. He pretends like he is the victim when nobody is. And then you accused me of cheating? Which I didn't do! And after all pablo acts as id i was fine with it" she crys out

I grab her and she falls down on my chest sobbing for help. She has gone trough so much and i just meed to be here for her instead of making her feel like it's al deserved! I should've never thought about the cheating thing.