I'll be there for you {CHARLES LECLERC, ENG}

Over and out.

Charles leclerc's point of view:

"I think we're done Charles."

Everything inside me wished i had heard that incorrectly or that she meant something else then what i was thinking.

"Excuse me?" I ask her hoping i had flipped her words to my own imagination

"I think we are done. I think we should break up."

"Wait what?"

"I'm sorry Charles but it ends here. We end here. There won't be an us anymore. I'll move out tomorrow."

"Oaklynn what are you saying? Are you sure?"

"Im sure Charles im sorry. I don't feel it anymore and im sorry but i find the surprise really amazing. But i still don't fully believe it because the Miami Grand Prix jumping was Yesterday."

Fuck, my plan backfired. And she would notice duh! How stupid am i for thinking that she wouldn't notice. We are indeed going to miami but not dor the grand prix i just though that way i could 100% get her on board.

"I just don't feel like i can trust you anymore. And everything has felt off. When we kiss it felt like you had your mind on different things. When we would have conversation you would drown in your own thoughts and when i would ask what was going on you would always say nothing. And not that it relies on anything but when is the last time we have had sex Charles?"

In Australia the 4th day. Which is 3 weeks ago. Maybe she was right. Not that we should end things NEVER but about how i was acting and that i had my mind of different things.

"Your doing it again Charles. I feel like you don't love me. And that you don't want to share your love with me. And when i do show you love it feels like you don't want it. So it's okay if you have fallen out of love with me..."

"I was going to propose." Is what i get out.

"Charles stop. All this lying isn't helping."

"I swear. I have the ring i have the trip i have Romy to take you to get your nails done in 1 week. I have bought a dress for you that you could wear during. Your parents and brother know. My mom and brothers know. Everything is planned out."

Maybe I shouldn't have said that. Maybe i should have just kept my nose longer then it is and lied. If she doesn't know this i would just cancel everything and she wouldn't feel any guilt or whatever feeling she will get.

"Charles don't do this.."

"I bought the ring when we were together for 3 months because i knew that you were the woman i wanted to marry. And i know i told you that i would marry you only after a year but how can i if i already know that i am going to anyway."

"Stop. This is not a thing to joke about."

"And i know i lied but for what? Because i want yo be with you for the rest of my live. I want to have children with you and grow old with you. I want to know that ill have you everyday in my life."

"You can't just do this Charles. You can't just fuck me over and leave me stranded on the beach whenever you like and just come back hoping i would still be there and didn't drown. But i am not there anymore Charles i am over it. I an sick of it!!! If this is what loving you feels like then I don't know if i really want it. Because how can you lose love over proposing. Wouldn't you show more love because you know you'll be engaged? Instead you leave me for my own thoughts to eat me alive. And i know you have a hard time with overthinking and i have always been there to support you but there is no logical reason for you to act like this and pretend to not love me anymore. I am done Charles WE ARE DONE!"

She says walking out of the door crying.

A single tear fell down my cheek, I didn't know how to progress this. I have had tons of girlfriends and summer fleeks. I ahhe had enough girl that want me. I have told pleanty of girls that i love them. But never have i felt like this.

Never have i once cried when one of them broke up with me. I have never felt like this in my entire life. Like a part of myself is missing and i secretly know that I won't get it back so easily. She feels like a completed  part too me.

It feels like cleaning your room knowing idle get messy but it's worth cleaning. It's worth cleaning because it makes you feel good about yourself and about the task you just completed. It feels like giving someone a compliment because they get happy and your enjoying their happiness. And because you know you just did something nice. It feels like being aware of the time you have spent on your phone and just sitting there in silence on your own. It makes you self aware and it makes you feel good about yourself. It feels like loving someone because you care about them. It makes you feel loved and completed.

She is that feeling that makes you feel completed. Like you did something with your day. Everyday i have spent with her i have felt good.

She is what makes everything right in the world. So when she isn't there anymore it gets pretty hard to still feel completed.

When she isn't there it feels like a messy room and being too lazy to clean it. Not caring of what people will think of your room. It feels like telling someone something negative just because you can. Not caring what they will think about you. It feels like being aware of how much time you have spent on your phone bit simply not caring and continuing to scroll on your phone looking at useless stuff. It feels like loving someone that doesn't love you back

That's what she feels like.