"Haven't you gambled enough for a lifetime?" Levi was just tired. He was especially tired of the conversation that was about to happen before it even started.
"Perhaps." Erwin answered shortly and with a guilty smile. Levi didn't hide his dissatisfaction.
"You never planned to survive in the first place, did you?" No answer followed because it was obvious. Because there was no answer to a rhetorical question. "You selfish ass." Levi hissed the words that had been weighing on him ever since he met Erwin. Even with all his bad qualities, the commander managed to get under his skin. Or maybe that was precisely why he succeeded. If he were some goody-two-shoes innocent schmuck, Levi would never have given him the time of day. Yet here they were, years later. Nothing had changed, and yet everything did. If something were to happen to Erwin, Levi would lose the place where he belonged. Desi wasn't the only one whose life revolved around the foolish commander Smith. A person who valued his own life so very little while being such an irreplaceable part of everyone else's lives. Irony was having a field day with that one.
"I'm sorry, Levi."
"Don't you dare apologize!" The captain interrupted him. "Make sure to bring your sorry ass back. If you die, I'll kill you! Got it?"
Erwin didn't comment on how silly Levi's threat sounded and instead smiled warmly. He felt loved, and with good reason.
'I guess my life hasn't been that bad after all." He thought.
---
The talk he had with Erwin kept repeating itself in Levi's mind, worse than a broken record. Especially now that they had taken care of the armored titan and the beast titan was next on the menu. The colossal titan was still cowering away somewhere, perhaps awaiting orders. Either way, making sure Erwin's safety was secured and kicking the beast titan's ass were on the current agenda for the captain. He left most of the survey corps, including the unwilling Desi, inside the wall, on the lookout for a possible ambush. Even so, he wouldn't be surprised if at any point in time she popped up next to him, or even worse, outside, desperately searching for Erwin. She and Erwin were like two peas in a pod—stubborn to the end and a huge thorn in the captain's ass. If anything happened to either of them, he would be no less than devastated—something he would never admit out loud. Why were all the people dear to him so foolishly suicidal?
---
Heroes don't stick around forever. This hell wasn't for everyone, especially not for the faint of heart. It swallowed you whole and spit you right out, never to return to your old self again. What even were dreams? Did they have any meaning anymore? It was all decided for us—our role in this ugly world. Anything beautiful or of value would eventually die. People, feelings, memories—nothing was spared.
The destiny of a soldier? Laughable. It is ironic how a person's mindset changes once faced with the single thing they can't handle—the one true fear they'd been hiding deep in their heart and foolishly hoping would never transpire. Who could possibly care for the fate of humanity once their beacon of light gets completely crushed and crumbles in pieces before their very eyes? If anyone claims otherwise, they're a dirty liar. Screw duty, screw this unfair world, screw this godforsaken fate!
"You can't do that... You're not allowed to do that..." My thoughts were stuck on repeat as my eyes witnessed the gruesome scenario happening in front of them. Complete denial, through and through. Unknown to me, the corners of my lips curled into a wicked smile. A burst of laughter filled the heavy air. "You can't...not allowed..." The words kept coming out through the strings of laughter. "My light... My only light..."
---
"Desi, what the fuck?!" Jean shook her, freaked out by the laughter, but then he saw the tears running down endlessly, and he understood.
"My light...my light..." It was like her consciousness was no longer present, like grief had taken over completely. He couldn't do anything for her at this moment, and he knew it painfully well.
---
A thirst for blood and the need to hunt filled my whole being. The diamond titan clawed at all the negative emotions and enveloped them with welcoming arms.
"Everything that hurts us must be wiped from existence." A voice that was not mine creeped into my mind. Its alluring words and tone made me feel like I had been spoken to by the devil.
"So be it." I gave up control. I let the titan do my bidding for me. Our minds melted into one. Our desires were one and the same.
---
Jean was pushed away just as her transformation began. The scouts scurried away from the blinding light. The diamond skin shone under the scorching rays of the sun. She was gone in an instant, before Jean could even utter a word.
"Why always him? Why do you keep running to him all the time?" He gritted his teeth. It never stopped being painful; he just hid it. For his own sake and for her sake.
---
"Punish them for what they did to her!" Her? Who was the voice referring to? Deep hatred seeped through every single word. I could feel it in each cell of our shared body. Did something similar happen in the past? Did they lose a beloved person? Is that why they were so angry and devastated? Is that why the feeling was so familiar to what I was going through currently? The strong feelings reverberated through my own and took shape in each titan that met its end with our fist. A flow of unknown memories flooded me. His and her smiles shined brightly. Why did she look so familiar? I could feel how strong their love was for each other and how much happiness they shared. Happiness, they were robbed off in a matter of seconds.
"We share the same fate, don't we?" If revenge was the only choice left to us, then revenge is what we would take.
YOU ARE READING
My Hero
FanfictionEver since she was a small child Desi was destined to cross paths with Erwin Smith - the one man she considers to be the hope of mankind. That's where our story begins. P.S. I'm usually against the idea of making myself an Original Character in my...
