My Hero

Chapter 50.5 (Bonus chapter)

"Gosh, I feel sick..." After waking up with a splitting headache and a strong desire to puke out my insides for the whole world to see, I made my way down to have breakfast. Although, in that case, I might have had to settle for a cup of coffee and a prayer to make it through the day. Relief awakened inside me when I saw a beacon of hope in the face of Jean. Complaining to someone when you don't feel well actually makes a person a little better. I wouldn't be able to explain the sorcery behind that, even if asked.

To my surprise, I didn't even need to utter a word since he noticed my condition almost immediately.

"Hey, Shortie! Are you alright?"

"Not really, no." I mumbled. "I've been feeling this way ever since I woke up, and I have no clue why." I poured myself the cup of coffee I had been yearning for, but once my gaze landed on the food on the table, I felt even sicker. "I can't... I have to get outside."

Jean, who was very concerned at this point, followed me. My body relaxed a bit once I was out in the fresh air.

"Maybe you caught the summer flu. Those are nasty." Jean suggested.

I needed a second to process his words. That's right. The summer was slowly making its way here, and I couldn't say I was thrilled. It was probably my least favorite season, and, now that I thought about it, I had always been prone to summer colds.

"I don't know... All I know is that I feel like dying, and I'm fighting the constant desire to throw up."

"Oh?" Jean's ears perked up. "Morning sickness, maybe?" He teased.

Just as I was about to scold him for making such a horrible joke, a loud shattering sound caught my attention. I turned around and tried to track the direction it came from, but I couldn't see anyone.

"What the hell was that?"

"No clue." He shrugged his shoulders.

"Oh, well..." I returned to my coffee and finished it while it was still hot—just the way I liked it.

---

Erwin Smith's brain was going haywire. The cause? The conversation he had just overheard. The now-broken cup was dripping warm, black liquid all over the glass. "It's only been a couple of days... But...is it possible? What if she really is...?" A weird palette of feelings was going through the commander's body. Was he even ready for such a development? Does he even want something like this in the first place?

"What are you spacing out for?" Levi's voice pulled him out of his inner dialogue, at the same time causing another.

'Can I share such news with Levi? No, it might not even be true.'

Erwin Smith shook his head involuntarily.

'I'll just keep it to myself for now.'

"Well?"

Erwin's prolonged silence and the weird expression on his face were starting to seriously creep Levi out. "Ah, yes, I apologize, Levi. I was...lost in thought."

"You don't say. Are you planning on cleaning up the mess you made?" Erwin Smith had completely forgotten about that. His still pretty confused look made Levi sigh loudly. "Never mind, I'll do it. You'll probably make an even bigger mess in your condition."

'Whatever the hell that is.' Levi thought to himself.

---

"Are you sure you're gonna be alright?"

"Yes, don't worry, Jean. I'll just walk it off or something."

"Alright, if you say so. Don't overexert yourself, you hear?"

"Roger!" I saluted Jean in a joking manner before walking away.

'At least I can enjoy a bit of normal weather before the unbearable heat takes over.' I thought as I walked in silence. 'Just my luck, to feel sick during my only free day before I have to prove my worth as a...human? Or whatever the hell I'm considered at this point...' I sighed audibly. No matter how much I tried, I couldn't shake off the uneasiness. The experience would probably haunt me for the rest of my life—if I lived through this whole ordeal, that is.

"No, no, no!" I shook my head vigorously. Not the best idea when you're feeling sick to your stomach. "Don't do this to me, annoying brain! Leave me alone, at least for today! Damn, I feel horrible!" I plopped my butt down on the grass, which was still a tad wet with morning dew. I closed my eyes and attempted to clear my head.

---

'Why am I following her around like a coward?' Erwin Smith thought while squatting behind a thick bush, which managed to cover only half of his tall body.

"If she really is..." His brain was still terrified of the big P word. "What will her decision be?" He mumbled to himself.

'What if she's afraid to tell me? Or maybe she doesn't want this... She is still very young after all. Even if she decides to keep it, am I even fit to be a... father?' Many more thoughts and questions kept popping up in his mind one after the other, storming him like an avalanche, which left him breathless.

'Nothing will come out of brooding over these matters alone. Come on, Erwin, be a man, and go talk to her about it!'

Words of encouragement he never imagined he would be giving himself. They worked, though, as he was now slowly walking towards Desi.

---

The squeaky sound of the wet grass made my heart jump in its confines. I immediately turned around. "Oh!" I sighed with relief. "It's just you, Erwin." Then I realized that my words might not have sounded how they were supposed to. "Oh, no, no, that's not what I meant. I just got scared for a second, but..." Looking at his facial expression, though, I wasn't sure if he was listening to or even comprehending what I was saying. "Erwin? Are you okay?" I got up from my spot, and that was when he surprised me with a tight hug. It took me a while to react to his questionable (at this point) behavior.

"I want you to know..." He finally spoke up. "That I'm here for you. I'll take good care of you, and you will have nothing to worry about. I mean...if you really are...that is..."

---

'Why would you go and blurt all of that out without even asking her if it's true first?!' Erwin scolded himself internally. The confused look on Desi's face didn't really help him take better control of the situation, nor did the sound of his loud heartbeat, which he thought at this point was more than obvious.

---

"What...are you talking about, Erwin? I mean, I do feel quite sick today, but I'm sure that will pass quickly. It ain't something you need to worry about that much. Wait... how did you know I was feeling sick?"

The commander didn't answer my question. Instead, he was the one looking confused this time. "You mean... you're not...pregnant?"

"WHAT?!" My voice went to a high pitch in no time. "No, no, no, I'm not! At least I don't think I am... I definitely am not!" The idea alone terrified me. But now that I was looking at Erwin, his expression seemed sad. I felt a painful stab in my heart. "I'm sorry if I disappointed you..." For some reason, it made me feel guilty. Human emotions are fun, aren't they?

"Don't be silly. This is nothing to apologize for." Erwin was trying to sound calm, but I knew better. This time I was the one who surprised him with a hug.

"Who knows...maybe someday..." I whispered soothingly, which actually did the trick, and his body relaxed in my arms. I actually felt a bit better. His presence was like strong medicine. There was one thing I had known all along, and with every single step along the way, he made me believe in it even stronger than before. I wouldn't trade Erwin for the world.