My Hero

Chapter 11

I knocked on the door with mixed feelings. I took a deep breath and walked in once I was invited. 'I can do this.'

"Oh, Desi." It seemed like I was the last person the commander expected to see. My expression was probably telling him enough, because he got up and walked towards me. "Are you alright? You look terrible."

"That's probably because I feel just as terrible." I avoided looking him in the eyes. After all this time, I still didn't have the courage to face him properly, because every time I did, it felt like everything I held deep inside would be exposed. He extended his arm, got a hold of my face gently, and lifted it up, thus making it impossible for me to keep hiding in my hard shell. I was forced to meet his kind blue eyes. Curse this man!

"Tell me what's bothering you, Desi. You wouldn't come all the way here for nothing."

"It's... it's not important."

"Who are you trying to fool? Me or yourself?"

'Myself, apparently, cause I sure as hell can't fool you.'

"Fine, alright, but I can't really relax and talk if you stare at me so intently."

"Excuse me, my dear, you're right." The commander moved his hand away, and I immediately felt cold.

"I think I should learn the truth about my parents." I was speaking slowly, as if to give myself enough time to finally be ready.

"I see. I don't know much; most of what I know is based on my own theories. But I will tell you what I do know. Let's sit down." I followed after the Commander and sat next to him on the sofa. I listened intently to every word that came out of his mouth. "I don't know exactly how you got separated from your parents, because they were nowhere to be seen when I found you. I am guessing they were forced to get on one of the ships and leave without you. There is no record of them ever leaving for Wall Rose, though, which means the records have been altered. It's like they disappeared from the face of the earth until my friend finally discovered them, but it was too late. Both of them were murdered—by humans. There were obvious signs of a struggle, and..." At this point, the commander made a pause.

"Please, continue..." I begged him.

"Yes, alright. Your mother, it seems like she was... raped. It's possible she got killed right after." A silent sob escaped my throat, and a loud buzz filled my head. "I can stop if you want me to. You've been through enough today."

"No... No. Keep going... I can't keep running away from the truth." I wiped the few tears that rolled down my cheeks.

The commander took a deep breath. "From what I saw, they were both prisoners, but to whom I don't know. Afterwards, I did a little bit of research. Desi, do you have any idea what your father's job was?"

"I...don't remember." An image suddenly emerged in my mind. The look in my eyes must have given that away.

"Did you remember something?"

"Yes... I think so. I remember my father wasn't home much. He spent very little time with us, and I...I begged him not to leave us again, but he apologized and said his mission was very important... Ugh." A sharp pain caused me to shut my eyes tightly.

"Desi, are you alright??"

"I'll be fine... For some reason, whenever I try to remember anything from my past, I get a horrible headache. It's like my mind is trying hard to block something I'm not supposed to remember.

"Maybe it's protecting you. Perhaps it was necessary for you to lose your memory in order to start a new life away from something that happened in your past."

I considered his words. "Is that all you know, Commander?"

"Yes, but I also have a theory. I don't think anyone would go through all the trouble of kidnapping and locking up your parents, especially in a time of crisis, unless they were trying to hide an important secret. Maybe there's something your parents knew that had to be kept hidden at any cost."

"But, if that's true, why were they the only ones kidnapped? If someone already knew everything about them, they also knew about my existence."

"Maybe they did, or maybe they didn't. But your real name was never in any of the records."

"That's right...I had no memory and was taken in by Jean's family, so officially I'm considered their child."

"Yes, as far as the kidnappers care, you probably died during the Titan invasion in Shiganshina District."

"In that case, what is my real name?"

"That I don't know. I'm sorry."

"No...it's okay. It's probably better this way. Maybe you were right when you said I was given a chance for a new life. At this point, dwelling on the past won't do me any good, and since I can't really remember more than what I told you, I won't even try to do so anymore. There are still many things I want to achieve in my life. I will just live with the new Me. Besides, I probably like her way better this way."

"I also like her... very much." With that, the commander shifted closer to me, and I felt the familiar yearning deep in my heart. He was inches away from my face when my name left his lips in a soft whisper.

"Desi..."

"Erwin..."

His expression changed to one of desire. "Oh, how I've missed hearing my name come out of your soft lips."

I allowed myself a slight smirk and whispered in his ear. "E...r...w...i...n..."

That was probably the last drop, because he grabbed my face in his hands and finally erased the distance between us, enveloping my lips in a deep kiss. This time I wasn't afraid; my mind was completely filled with him. So was my body, right down to its very core. I wrapped my arms around his neck and answered the kiss. Our bodies were pressed together, and I could easily feel the warmth of his body spreading over mine. I instinctively buried my fingers in his beautiful blonde hair. Funny, I had always felt like I wanted to ruffle it a bit because it looked way too perfect. Yes, I definitely lost the battle with my feelings, but I didn't care anymore. Here in his arms was the place where I wanted to be.