My Hero

Chapter 49 (18+)

Erwin was caught completely off guard by Desi's words and actions. He remained silent, though, wearing his usual poker face and not giving off any of his inner struggles. With his injury, he wasn't able to fight titans anymore, and he might die any given day. He preferred to protect her from the sorrow of that moment. As much as she would hurt now, the pain would be worse whenever he met his inevitable end, so it was better to cut things off as quickly as possible. He was also haunted by his selfish desires. He had given up on making his dream come true if it meant using her in any way. He could finally make that decision; however hard it was. He refused to hurt her, not anymore. Yes, he had to believe this was for the best; otherwise, he wouldn't be able to go through with it.

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Erwin kept shifting his eyes between me and the rings. I was red all the way up to my ears, and it would have been nice of him to finally speak up!

"Erwin, I beg of you, say something! I'm embarrassed enough as it is!"

I felt like steam would come out of my ears at any given moment.

"I already told you that I would like to be left alone. I want to rest." His words, his gaze—so cold. I froze in my spot, like he had cast a spell on me. No, that wasn't true. His eyes couldn't fool me. He might have acted cold, but if only he knew how his blue irises looked at that moment. As stubborn as a mule, huh? I was warned, wasn't I? The gears in me shifted as well, and I met his gaze. I could also be as heartless as I wished.

"So, that's how we're going to do this. Alright then." I closed the box and put it on the nightstand next to his bed, my eyes not moving an inch away from his own. "If you don't plan on being honest, I will just have to get the truth out of you in a different way. Let us see if you're as committed to your words as you pretend to be." I removed the cover from his lower body and climbed on top of him.

"Desi, what do you think you're doing?"

"Take a guess." I couldn't believe I was actually doing any of this, but at that point, I hardly cared. If playing dirty would finally get my point across, then so be it. I rested my hands on the commander's thighs. "Are you going to be honest, Erwin? Still playing the silent card, huh? Alright then." I slipped one hand between his legs, fondling and squeezing the spot. It doesn't take him too long to react. "Your body is much more honest than its owner."

Erwin grabbed my hand, thus stopping my actions. "Don't do this."

"I think you're forgetting that you're at a bit of a disadvantage in this situation." The insinuation hidden in those words left a bad taste in my mouth. I simply changed the hand I'd been using.

Erwin let go and moved his gaze away from me. "Do whatever you wish."

"As you command." I unbuttoned and slid his pants and underwear down. I moved my own out of the way. Wearing a skirt was actually paying off. A painful moan left my lips. Being penetrated so quickly wasn't the best possible feeling, but I wasn't doing this for pleasure anyway. That was the least of my concerns. I swallowed the pain and commenced moving. If the situation was different, this would have been very sexy. I studied all the small changes in Erwin's expression. He was trying hard to fight the desire—a losing battle, for sure. His silent treatment was still underway, though. I bent forward a little and made him face me. "Look at me, Erwin. Feel me, just like I feel you deep inside." Damn, this was actually starting to feel really good. "You survived; you're alive; you're still here. You're my reason to keep fighting! You've always been..." At that point, the tears had made their way into my eyes and were trickling down my face, free from any constraints. "I remember, Erwin... You told me you would wait for me. I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere, no matter what happens from here on out. This doesn't bother me. I'm not that shallow." My whole body was shaking from the intensity of the tears and every single feeling encased in them. My lips found his once more, my arms enveloping his warm body. This warmth I grew to love; I couldn't let it go. Not in this lifetime. Erwin tried to close his eyes and look away, but all the emotions going through his mind were visible on his face. His poker face was finally broken. One would think he surrendered to the desire, but I knew better. He answered my kisses, making my whole body tingly from pleasure. "Erwin...I love you..." Moans intertwined with kisses; my movements intertwined with his thrusts. At the peak of elation, I finally heard his warm voice, right now more strained than anything else.

"Get off, Desi...I won't be able to hold back."

Instead, I locked my legs behind his body. "It's alright, Erwin." My tear-stained face was glowing with happiness. The deep groan that escaped Erwin's throat was like music to my ears. The sensation was hot and satisfying. Erwin buried his head in my neck, breathing heavily. The short silence was painful, as it hung around us once more. To my surprise, he wrapped his arm around my small body and held me tight.

"I won't be able to hold you like before."

"I don't care." I answered immediately.

"I won't be able to fight anymore."

"You are the Commander of the Survey Corps. We will do the fighting."

"I'll need you to nurse me, wearing a sexy costume."

"I will do that gladly!... Wait, what?! Was that a joke? Because I'll definitely do it!"

We both burst out laughing. Tears, this time from pure happiness, escaped my eyes.

"What the hell are you two doing?"

My heart jumped in my chest. I refused to turn around in this embarrassing state and pose. My whole face was probably a very, very deep red. Unlike me, Erwin wasn't feeling as embarrassed and calmly greeted the captain, still holding me tight in his embrace.

"Hello, Levi."